


True or False

by Sujuseries (Mythicalseries)



Category: Super Junior
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Universe, M/M, yehyuk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:47:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 50,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23601040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mythicalseries/pseuds/Sujuseries
Summary: Yesung's cold attitude leaves Hyukjae dumbfounded. The more they think, the less they understand about each other, but after so many jokes and misunderstandings, facing the truth won't be easy for either of them.
Relationships: Kim Jongwoon | Yesung/Lee Hyukjae | Eunhyuk
Comments: 167
Kudos: 341





	1. August 24th

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! First of all, this is a translation of one of my finished works in Spanish called Verdadero o Falso, which you can find on Twitter [here](https://twitter.com/mari_ficseries/status/1164013204592308224) if you're insterested. Since I could put up screenshots of conversations on Twitter but that doesn't really suit the AO3 style, this version might be a liiittle different, but it will still have conversations via text in the middle, which I hope are clear.
> 
> Also, CONTEXT: I started writing this before Time Slip came out, so I was basing a lot of things just on pictures and certain hints, but of course, none of this is real.
> 
> I hope you like it!

**August 29th**   
  
The scene before Yesung's eyes was happening in slow motion, a sight so familiar it almost seemed like a deja vu. The entrance to the airport, the members, and on his left, the same three vans as always, now empty. To one side, their manager, counting heads while the members greeted each other for the first time that day. Towards the front of the group he could see Leeteuk timidly hugging Heechul, and of course, Siwon and Donghae saying hello like they hadn’t seen each other in weeks. Behind him, Kyuhyun was waiting for Ryeowook, who seemed to be searching for something in his bag, and right in front of him stood the person he was trying to avoid.

Just like in a movie, time slowed down while he tried to decide what to do. Standing just three feet away, Shindong was almost done saying hello to Hyukjae, and if the scene happened like it usually did, Hyukjae’s smile would be beaming towards Yesung in a couple of seconds. And so he’d approach his dongsaeng, put his arm around him and say something like “ _ yo, my man _ ”, which would make Hyukjae chuckle.

  
But not this time.   


* * *

**August 24th - 5 days earlier.**   
  


Yesung hadn’t stopped replying to birthday messages since he’d woken up. Even if he loved celebrating his birthday, sometimes replying to everybody and organizing parties became tedious.  _ It didn’t use to bother me so much,  _ he thought.  _ I really am getting old. _

And so, just as he was done having lunch with his parents and his brother, the screen on his phone lit up with a birthday message that pulled out a genuine smile from him.

_ Huehppy birthday, hyung! #Aesongie,  _ read Hyukjae’s tweet.

“Ugh, annoying brat”, he said out loud but to no one in particular. The smile on his face, however, didn’t match his words, which only made his brother laugh to himself. There was only one person who could have that effect on Yesung, so he didn’t even have to ask who it was. Jongjin only rolled his eyes and started gathering up the plates as his older brother only sat there smiling down at the screen of his phone.    
  
_ Thank you, love you! _ , Yesung tweeted back.

And not long after, a text message followed.

  
  


Hyukjae

I’m sorry I can’t be there tonight, hyung.   
  


That’s alright

You told me days ago

Besides you’re not the only one

Everyone has their own schedules, it’s fine

I know

But I’m still sorry

Don’t worry

I know you love me anyway~~

You know what? Forget I said anything

Hahahahahaha

Okay, so before you say anything that makes me regret it…

Do you want to have lunch tomorrow?

It’s on me

Yeah, do you have anything in mind?

Not really, not yet

Do you want to go to that place Kyu told us about the other day?

Uuuu, yesss

I’ll ask the others tonight if they wanna come

Alright, but tell them that I’m only buying  _ you  _ lunch

If was paying for everyone, they’d invite everyone they know just to mess with me

Hahaha ok, I’ll tell them

Have fun tonight!

We will!

See you tomorrow

See ya :)

  
  


\--------------------------------------

The restaurant was small; there were only three other people besides them, although Yesung was sure there used to be more. Still, Yesung loved it. He was a regular, so he knew they served amazing food and the place was hidden enough that they wouldn’t be disturbed so much. 

He didn’t know what time it was, but his body told him it was probably late. With one or two extra glasses of wine in his system, however, he didn’t seem to mind.

He looked around, seeing Kyuhyun and Siwon laughing at something nonsensical, and Donghae laughing along while he grabbed the last piece of meat on the grill.   
  
“Yesungsung!”, he suddenly heard from the door. When he turned around, he saw Heechul coming toward him with open arms, so he stood up to give him a big hug. “Happy birthdaaay!”

“Thanks, hyung. I was starting to think you wouldn’t make it.”

“I know, I’m sorry. Recording took way longer than I thought it would”, said Heechul as he sat down opposite him and next to Donghae. “But I told you I would come, so here I am.”   
  
At that, Yesung smiled warmly. He was very grateful to have his members. Even if not all them had been able to make it, it didn’t matter.  _ They’re all here in spirit _ , or at least that’s what his mother used to say. Shindong was still recovering and Hyukjae had to take his place at one of his shows; Ryeowook was on a trip filming for a show and Leeteuk had to MC for god knows what. Kangin had called, Sungmin had sent him a little text, and even Zhoumi and Henry had wished him happy birthday.  _ They’re all here. Always,  _ he thought.   
  
“Eunhyuk-ah didn’t come?”, asked Heechul, making Yesung’s heart suddenly just a little bit heavier.   
  
Yesung shook his head. “He couldn’t make it today. He had to stand in for Shindong, remember?”

“Well, that’s alright…”, he said, picking up the empty wine bottle from the table and using it to point at Kyuhyun. “I know I can always count on drunkard Cho.”

Kyuhyun just laughed cheerfully and called the waiter to ask for a bottle of soju.   


“Agh, you guys never change, do you?”, said Donghae.

In the meantime, while the others drank and laughed, Siwon took the maknae’s cell phone and kept on laughing by himself.

“What are you laughing at?”, asked Yesung popping his head over Siwon’s shoulder, but he only got roaring laughter in return. He could see how Siwon kept passing picture after picture, laughing with some more than with others.

“During my live the other day I asked fans to send in memes and funny pictures of us, and now I have a folder full of them”, explained Kyuhyun after having another drink with Heechul.

“There are some that are yours too, hyung”, said Siwon, finally coming closer to Yesung and letting him see.

And so drink after drink, and picture after picture as now the whole table watched, the boys couldn’t stop laughing. When suddenly a picture of Yesung holding Hyukjae’s hand came on screen, and the disgusted expression on his dongsaeng’s face made all of them laugh.

“I don’t know how you put up with him, hyung”, said Siwon in between laughs.

“Me neither. I would have killed him years ago”, said Kyuhyun while Donghae nodded along.

Yesung just smiled shyly, as he massaged the back of his neck. “To be honest, I don’t know either. Sometimes I really just want to punch him.”

“Oh, please. No, you don’t”, said Heechul rolling his eyes. “You’re too soft with Hyukjae and we all know that.”

Yesung’s face suddenly changed, almost offended by the accusation. “What are you talking about?”, he said. “We’re not Tom and Jerry for nothing! We’re fighting all the time!”  _ Why do I sound so defensive about it, though? _ , he thought quite surprised with himself.

“That’s different. It’s just bickering and messing around”, said Heechul. “You could easily behave like that with the girl you like.” Yesung hadn’t noticed it until that moment but the rest of the boys had stopped laughing. “C’mon, Yesung. You haven’t been angry at Hyukjae a single day of your life.”

And so, Yesung tried to remember a moment when the two of them had really truly fought.  _ There has to be one _ , he thought, but the more he searched back in his memory, the more he realized that Heechul was right. It took him a few long seconds until he dared to meet his friend’s eyes again, who seemed to be waiting for him.

“So what?”, said Yesung, barely in a whisper.

“So nothing, hyung”, said Siwon reassuringly. “Heechul hyung is just messing with you.”

“What?! I’m just spitting facts over here!”, said Heechul, suddenly receiving a light slap from Donghae telling him to stop. So he sighed. “I’m sorry. I just meant that that’s why he acts that way with you. You’ve never shown him that you too have a limit.”   
  
“But Yesung hyung doesn’t usually get angry, hyung. I’d even say that’s a good thing”, said Kyuhyun.

“It’s only a good thing until you guys take it too far!”, said Heechul, so fired up that it made everyone laugh. “As their hyungs, we have to set boundaries too, Yesung-ah.”

“You wouldn’t even have to get angry at him for real”, said Donghae as a joke. “You could always just pretend.”

But Siwon shook his head. “It wouldn’t work”, he said. “You all know Hyukjae. He’d just wait until Yesung hyung cools down again.”

Siwon had a point. Of all the times Hyukjae had actually had a serious fight with any of the members, he could count in one hand the few times he actually decided to talk things out face to face. As a rule, his strategy to solve these things, usually consisted on waiting long enough for the other person to forget it and everything was well again.   
  
“Well, let him ignore him then. After all, that brat only wants attention.”

“Oh”, said Donghae, quite excited. “That really would annoy him, hyung.”

However, Yesung on the other hand didn’t seem so convinced, as he still tried to picture the situation in his mind. “I don’t know…”

“Okay, that’s enough, guys”, said Siwon all of a sudden. “If he doesn’t want to do it, that’s fine.”

But Heechul huffed out a laugh. “He wouldn’t be able to pull it off even if he wanted to”, he said. “He’s too soft with him, I’m telling you.”

“Or maybe you’re just too harsh”, said Kyuhyun cheekily. “Maybe you could learn a thing or two from Yesung hyung.”   
  
But Yesung wasn’t paying attention anymore, as he kept his eyes fixed on the table. Even if he could have sworn he heard a loud thump followed by laughter, he just sat there, faking a smile as all the voices around him became silent.  _ Is Heechul right? _ , he thought.

And as he later closed his eyes that night, the question kept tumbling around in his head, while his resigned heart seemed to scream the answer to someone who wasn’t ready to hear it.   
  



	2. August 25th: Part I

**August 25th**

They had been there for only a couple of minutes. Donghae had pulled out his phone and sat down in the small waiting area while Yesung told the receptionist that they’d need a table for three. She wrote his name down on the list and thanked them for their patience before turning to guide a young couple to their table.

The place Kyuhyun had recommended was nice and trendy, with a huge window near the door. Although you could only see the parking lot, if it had been a sunny day, enough light would have come through to brighten up the whole place. That day, however, dark clouds covered the sky and the lights were on as if it was nighttime.

Yesung walked over to Donghae, who was sitting with his back towards the window, and as his friend texted Hyukjae, he stayed standing in front of him. As he looked through the window, he was mesmerized by the different shades of grey in the sky and just watched as the clouds rushed by. _Thank god I brought an umbrella,_ he thought.  
  


\------------------------------------------------  
  
  


Just a few blocks away, Hyukjae was still in his car, trapped in traffic. _I should have left earlier_ , he told himself. But although he hated traffic during the day, the thing that was bothering him the most was the now increasing growl in his stomach. 

He had gotten up at half past eleven, so he had decided to skip breakfast so as not to get full before lunch. Still, he was supposed to pick up Yesung at twelve so he rushed to get ready. When he was done, however, he saw a he had a text from Yesung telling him that Donghae would be joining them and had offered to pick him up.

It made sense, after all. Yesung didn’t like driving and his house was closer to Donghae’s, but Hyukjae thought he wouldn’t have minded the extra drive. And so when he saw that he had a little time to spare, he plopped down on his couch and started scrolling through his phone until, of course, time had flown by and he realized he was late.

Now, as he was getting to the end of the traffic jam, his phone suddenly vibrated in his pocket.

Donghaek 

We’re here

We’re waiting for a table

I’m almost there

He put the phone back in his pocket, sighing in relief when he was finally able to leave the traffic jam behind.

Once the road was clear, he was able to get to the restaurant in under three minutes, and while he drove around looking for a parking spot, he could see how his friends had recognized his car through the window. Once he finally turned off the engine, he did the classic check, patting his pockets to see if he had everything, and got out. When he closed the door, he immediately turned his face upwards towards the grey sky, surprised by force of the wind and the speed at which the clouds were moving. _Seems like it’s gonna rain soon_ , he thought.

When he looked back towards the restaurant, his eyes naturally found Yesung’s, who was smiling warmly at him from inside. And all of a sudden the wind didn’t feel so cold anymore.

  
\------------------------------------------------

“Hey!”, said Yesung, maybe a little bit too loudly, when Hyukjae walked through the door of the restaurant. His friend just smiled, looking down timidly as if trying to avoid the eyes of the other customers.

“ _Yo_ ”, said Hyukjae once he was by their side. He first offered a fistbump to Donghae, who was still sitting down, and then walked over to give Yesung a hug, who almost looked at him suspiciously. And so he soon realized his intuition had been correct when Hyukjae’s arms started squeezing him more and more tightly, as he gave him a few brute pats on the back. “Happy birthday, hyung.” 

“Thanks”, said Yesung with the last little bit of air he had, before pushing away and making Hyukjae let go.

“How did it go last night?” 

“It was fun”, said Donghae. “At least for me. I don’t know if one or two of the others made it home alive, though.”

Hyukjae smiled. “Kyu and Heechul hyung, I guess. I saw the pictures you posted.”

“Oh that was nothing. I took those when they were just on their first bottle of soju…”

While their dongsaengs chatted, Yesung’s eyes remained fixed on Hyukjae, who was still smiling. So without even noticing, his own face mirrored the expression, smiling at him while he replayed the conversation with the members from the night before. _You’re too soft with Hyukjae and we all know that_ , had said Heechul. And at that moment Yesung thought that maybe he was right. He couldn’t be mad at that gummy smile. _So what?_ , he said to Heechul again in his mind.

Suddenly, however, a hand on his arm pulled his thoughts back to earth.

“I said, what about you?”, said Hyukjae as if he was repeating himself. His gaze seemed to be looking for his, since he obviously noticed that Yesung was distracted.

“Me? What about me?”

“How was last night for you?”, said Hyukjae. “It was your party, after all.”

“Oh, it was good”, said Yesung, a bit embarrassed. “Very good… Although I think I went a little bit overboard with the wine.”

“More than a little…”, said Donghae mockingly, earning himself a soft slap on the head from his hyung.

 _Yeah, that must have been it_ , he thought, trying to dismiss his troubled thoughts from the night before. _The wine._

As he looked to the side, Yesung happened to see a sign pointing towards the bathrooms at the end of the narrow hallway on his right, so he left his bag to Donghae and rushed away.

“I’ll be right back…”, he said, leaving his friends behind before they could say anything.

He didn’t really need to use the bathroom, but although he couldn’t see whether he was blushing or not, his cheeks felt warm enough that he figured he could use a little splash of cool water.

Luckily for him, the place was empty, so Yesung just sighed, relieved as he stood in front of the mirror, analyzing his own reflection. He wasn’t wearing too much makeup, but fortunately it had been enough to cover up any sign of embarrassment his face could have shown.

 _This is ridiculous_ , he told himself, taking a deep breath. _It was a silly comment. Just drunk talk among friends_ _, get over it._ He exhaled slowly. 

He put his hands under the stream of cold water and then placed them gently against his face. It wasn’t much but it did make him feel better. And for the time being, it would have to be enough. _Our table will probably be ready soon_ , he remembered. And with that thought, he turned the tap off and did a final check of his reflection in the mirror before heading out the door again.

And just like that, he was walking back up the hallway, brushing off some droplets from his shirt, when suddenly Donghae’s distant voice made him stop in his tracks.

“Ah, you really should treat him better”, he heard him say. His words froze Yesung in his place, now eager to eavesdrop on his friends through the wall. _What’s that kid doing?_ , he thought. _He better not be telling him about our conversation from last night._ “He’s just trying to get you to like him.”

“Ugh, well, I’d like him to try a little less”, replied Hyukjae. “It’s pathetic.”

Yesung took a sharp breath, trying to calm himself down. _They could be talking about anyone_ , he thought. _They don’t necessarily have to be talking about me..._

“Don’t be mean. I like him.”

“It’s not that I don’t like him, it’s just… annoying. But if this really works out, at least I won’t have to put up with him for a while."

The chuckle that followed that phrase almost felt like a stab through the heart, making Yesung lean against the wall for a few seconds as he tried to gather himself back together.  
  
... _Or maybe they are_ , he thought, confirming it in his mind.

“Oh, c’mon, it’s not that bad!”, said Donghae, making Hyukjae only laugh harder.

It was a strange feeling. Although he felt betrayed, he couldn’t really say he was surprised. Almost every time Hyukjae messed with him or acted disgusted at his displays of affection, people would laugh, so Yesung would too. _It’s just a joke after all_ , he used to tell himself during the first few months after their debut.  
  
And at first, he had to admit that he hadn’t been exactly sure what was real and what was just for show. It was only after a couple of years that Yesung started to think that he had figured it out. On one side, there was Eunhyuk: the idol, the Jerry to his Tom, the persona his friend pretended to be in front of the cameras who annoyed him to no end. On the other side, however, there was Hyukjae: the Hyukie to his Aesongie, sometimes just as annoying as Eunhyuk, but always the boy who seemed happy to make Yesung laugh and who, more than once, had shed tears on his shoulder.  
  
But now, as he stood in that hallway, he found himself questioning everything he thought he knew about his dongsaeng, and suddenly he was overwhelmed.

If he tried to think about Hyukjae, the first sound that came to mind was laughter. _It was only a joke, after all,_ he thought. So much laughter. _Turns out I was the joke all along._

“Table for three?”

The receptionist’s voice was calm and sweet but it still made Yesung jump as if he had been caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to. A little bit, embarrassed, he looked around to see if anyone had seen him, but he was alone. With that, he took a deep breath again, and once he put on his best poker face, he came out from his hiding place behind the wall.  
  
His friends had already stood up and were following the woman towards the table, when Hyukjae suddenly seemed to notice Yesung was walking behind them. As if nothing had happened, his dongsaeng stopped to wait for him, looking at him straight in the eye with his widest smile, gums and all. _That damn smile,_ thought Yesung, as Heechul’s words started echoing in his head.  
  
Yesung tried to walk past him, but Hyukjae grabbed him by his shoulders before he could slip away. “Everything okay, hyung?”, he said teasingly. “You took too long in there. All that wine from last night is still acting up?”

Yesung just shook his head, forcing a smile as he managed to get away from his grip. 

_Damn it, Donghae_ , he thought when he saw that the seat his friend had chosen forced him to have to sit next to Hyukjae. _Well, at least that means I won’t have to look at him in the eye._  
  
  


\------------------------------------------------

Donghae was telling them about the ideas he had for his videos and Hyukjae was doing his best to pretend he was listening. He would nod his head every once in a while and make a small question here and there, but his mind was focused on the person sitting next to him. 

He didn’t know if Donghae had noticed it too, but Yesung was weirdly quiet and he had barely touched his food. Since the moment they had sat down, his hyung had spent the whole time on his phone. He’d asked Donghae about the event he would be attending later, but hadn’t seemed particularly interested in his answer. At least, however, that was already a lot more than he had said to Hyukjae, who hadn’t even gotten as much as a glance.  
  


“That’s all you’re gonna order?”, Hyukjae had asked when they were deciding what to eat. “You really need to eat more, hyung.”

“I’m not hungry”, had said Yesung; his cold answer surprising Hyukjae. He knew his hyung didn’t like it when he said stuff like that, so he’d expected him to at least complain about his comment.

“Oh, c’mon… I told you it’s on me.”

But Yesung had taken his time to reply. He had reached for the bottle of water he had ordered, he’d popped it open and taken a slow, long sip before saying: “I’m fine, thanks.” 

And that had been the last thing he’d said. Forty minutes ago.

Hyukjae probably thought he was being inconspicuous, but Donghae could tell his friend was starting to feel uncomfortable. While Yesung focused on his phone, Hyukjae wouldn’t stop glancing over toward him, looking at their hyung out of the corner of his eye. At one point, Donghae had even stopped talking mid-sentence and Hyukjae didn’t even notice. _It’s really working, hyung_ , thought Donghae, chuckling to himself.

“So?”, said Yesung all of a sudden.

“Huh?, replied Donghae as he finished chewing on the last bite of what he’d ordered.

“You didn’t finish the sentence.”

Donghae huffed out a laugh. “At least you noticed…”, he said, looking teasingly at Hyukjae.

And his friend seemed to understand exactly what he meant, because he sat up straight, shifting awkwardly in his seat. Donghae could even swear he saw Hyukjae’s ears turning red.

“And how did you know?”, said Hyukjae turning to Yesung, as he tried to shift the conversation away from himself. “If you’ve only been looking at your phone this whole time…”

“I’m always listening”, replied Yesung, still refusing to look at him. Yet, he looked up from his phone and spoke directly to Donghae. “Are you going to the event straight from here?”

Donghae looked at the time on his phone and nodded. “I’m sorry I can’t drive you back.”

“That’s alright, hyung”, interrupted Hyukjae. “I can give you a lift.”

But Yesung suddenly seemed frozen, eyes fixed on the table in front of him as he processed the offer. Eventually, he took a deep breath and just turned around to grab his bag. “Thanks, but I think I’m going to walk.”

“To burn all the calories you didn’t eat?”, laughed Hyukjae, thinking Yesung was kidding. Yet, when Yesung turned back towards them and Hyukjae saw the serious expression on his face, he realized he meant it. “Are you crazy? You’d have to walk like two hours.”

 _And in this weather, hyung?,_ thought Donghae, finding the situation endlessly amusing. _You’re really overdoing it._

“I’ll be fine. Seriously.”

Hyukjae was about to protest, but he was suddenly interrupted when the waiter approached their table to leave the check. 

So as Yesung checked the map on his phone to see which route to take, Hyukjae looked back and forth between the check and his hyung, obviously confused by the whole situation. Meanwhile, Donghae was just left staring at the very entertaining scene before him.

 _Oh, Hyukie_ , thought Donghae with pity. _You’re gonna hate us later, but this is going to be incredible._


	3. August 25th: Part II

Yesung said goodbye to his friends, waiting until both of them had got in their cars and drove away before he started walking. Hyukjae had insisted on taking him home, but at that moment, Yesung didn’t trust himself to be locked in a car with him without yelling at him or crying. Or both.

“Are you really sure?”, had asked Hyukjae one last time as he stood beside his car. Yesung had only nodded, moving his hand as if telling him to hurry up and get in. “Okay, then… Take care, hyung.”

Before getting to the corner of the street, Yesung pulled out his hat and facemask from his bag and put them on, trying to hide his face as much as he could. The truth was that he could use some alone time, so the last thing he wanted was to be recognized. Just like that, he put on some earphones and decided to turn left at the next street, just because the amount of trees on it had caught his eye.

After spending the last hour and half trying to distract himself with his phone, he had tried not to let his mind go wild, but he had failed miserably. How could he have focused on anything else with Hyukjae sitting only a few inches away from him? At least now, as he started to walk, he simply put his favorite playlist on shuffle and hoped that any voice that filled up his ears would be louder than his own thoughts.

The more he walked, the more he started to notice the way in which the wind made leaves move, making it seem as if they were dancing to the beat in his ears. So as he focused on that, he started to feel how the tension in his shoulders lessened and his mind seemed at ease.

Yet, it had only been ten minutes since he had left the restaurant, when suddenly his phone started vibrating in his pocket and Donghae’s name popped up on the screen, ruining his moment of peace.

“Donghae-ah...?”, he said picking up, a bit confused as to why his friend was calling. They had parted ways just ten minutes ago, after all.

“Hyuuung!”, he said laughing overly excited. “I knew you could do it but that was just _amazing_!”

“What are you talking about?”

“Oh, don’t try to be so modest. It was perfect! You were so cold and distant with him... I almost bought the act myself for a second.”

Yesung was only getting more and more confused. “The act?”

“Oh c’mooon… I’m glad you decided to take our advice from last night. You don’t have to fool us too, hyung, just Hyuk”, he said. _Oh… no,_ thought Yesung as the realization hit him like a ton of bricks _._ “I thought you said you didn’t want to do it, but you’re a natural! I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen it myself.”

“What?”, said Yesung as he tried to process what his friend was saying. “No, Hae--”

“Hold on a second, hyung. I’m gonna try to call the others too…”, said his dongsaeng suddenly interrupting him.

“No, Donghae, wait!”

But it was too late. He could hear his friend tapping on his screen and he could only sigh, hoping no one would pick up. It only took a few seconds of silence, however, before he realized his prayers had been the opposite of answered.

“Hae…”, he heard Kyuhyun say.

_This is great_ , he thought, as suddenly Siwon and Heechul’s voices also popped into the conversation. _Just freaking great._

“Is everyone here?”, said Donghae. “Guys, you should have seen iiiit!”

“Huh?”, said Siwon.

Heechul sighed as if he was used to Donghae speaking nonsense. “What’s this kid talking about now?”

“I’m talking about Yesung hyung!”

“Hae, stop”, tried Yesung. “Really, it was nothing.”

“Of course it was!”, laughed Donghae. “Hyuk looked so confused, you guys!”

“I’m sure he was less confused than I am right now”, said Kyuhyun in a monotone voice.

“Can someone just explain what’s happening?”

After a second, Yesung let out a long, exaggerated sigh, and simply gave up. He wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone, let alone talk about Hyukjae, but he figured that hanging up on them would bring up even more questions that he didn’t want to answer.

“We just finished having lunch with Hyukjae like I told you guys yesterday”, he began to explain. “Hae was free today so he came along with us.”

“Ah, but Yesung hyung kept me in the dark about his plan…”, said Donghae playfully.

“There was no plan, Hae!”

Kyuhyun sighed. “I’m still not following…”

“Look, I’ve got like twenty minutes before I have to shoot again”, said Heechul, “so can you just sum it up for me?”

“Yeah… I’m still a little hangover and my head hurts, so please keep it short. I just want to take a nap.”

“Fine, fine”, said Donghae. “So, remember what we talked about yesterday? The thing about Hyukie being a pain to Yesung hyung?” Siwon hummed in agreement. “You know how we said he should ignore him a little? Well, he did it! He was ice cold and distant and it was incredible!”

Donghae laughed loudly covering up Yesung’s muttered curses under his breath, but after a few seconds there seemed to be no reaction from the others. 

“I don’t buy it…”, said Kyuhyun eventually.

“Well, if it’s true, I’m sure he already called him to apologize anyway…”, said Heechul. “He’s too soft for Hyukjae.”

“Oh, fuck you hyung…”, said Yesung blatantly.

“Wow!”, said Heechul while the others laughed along. “Okay, calm down, Yesung-ah. It was just a joke.”

_Yeah, it’s always just a joke…_ , he thought, already getting fed up. “Well, I’m not in the mood.”

“And you’re gonna be in even less of a mood when it starts raining”, said Donghae. “You should have let Hyuk take you home, hyung. You could get sick.”

Yesung looked up for a second noticing how the clouds in the distance seemed to be getting darker and closer by the minute. “That’s alright. I’ve got an umbrella.”

“Where are you, hyung?”, asked Siwon.

“On my way home…”

Donghae chuckled. “He’s _walking_ home! Just because he refused to let Hyukjae drive him.”

“What?”, said Kyuhyun, his tone now a little more worried. “Hyung, that place is miles away from your house!”

“I just wanted to take a walk, okay?”

“In this weather?” Siwon’s tone clearly showed his friend wasn’t buying any of it, but Yesung didn’t even bothered to answer.

“Well, at least if you’re gonna do it, this is the kind of dedication we want to see”, said Heechul.

Kyuhyun let out a pensive hum. “Are you sure you can do this?”

Heechul laughed. “How long do you think you’re gonna be able to handle Hyukjae’s sad little face?”

“Fine, okay!”, said Yesung, practically yelling. He even noticed a couple of people passing by who turned to look at him judgingly, so he sighed again, trying to pull himself together. “I’ll do it, alright? Just… let me handle it.”

Figuring he’d said enough, he didn’t even wait for an answer, and with that, he just hang up. He knew Heechul didn’t mean any harm but for the moment, getting teased about Hyukjae was something he couldn’t handle. So as he tried to focus on his breathing, taking his time to breathe in and out, he put the phone back in his pocket and just kept walking. _I hope I can make it home before it starts pouring._

His friends, still on the phone, were a little surprised by Yesung’s reaction, but without saying it, it was like they all silently agreed to do as they were told. They’d let Yesung decide how far he wanted to take this; they would just help with whatever they could. And so, Donghae felt like the least he could do to help was to stand up for his hyung a little.

“Aish... stop messing him, hyung”, he said. “You’re gonna piss him off for real.” 

“Yah! You’re the one who called in the first place!”

“But you’re the one who keeps calling him a _softie_!”

“So what?”, laughed Heechul. “He _is_ too soft!”

Donghae made a threatening sound, muttering something under his breath while the others chuckled.

Heechul finally sighed in resignation. “Fine, fine... I’ll stop saying it.” Donghae seemed content with his small victory, but Heechul just smiled as he decided to mess with Donghae instead. “Now that I think about it, I think we’re _all_ too soft with you too, Lee Donghae… Maybe we should have done this to you instead.”

Donghae’s whining was now louder and Kyuhyun and Siwon couldn’t help but laugh along with their hyung.

“Or maybe not…”, said Heechul eventually. “You would’ve have cried within five minutes and ruined all the fun.”

“Aish! Hyuuung!”, whined Donghae again.

Heechul and the boys just cackled again. “See what I mean?!”

  
  
\------------------------------------------------

_Well, finally something good happened today_ , thought Hyukjae with a sigh when he found the perfect parking spot across from his parents’ building.

His mother had asked him to fetch a couple of things from the supermarket on his way, so he turned around to grab the bags from the back seat and then got out. As he started heading for the entrance of the building, he suddenly stopped when he noticed the strength with which the wind was making the tree branches shake, and for some reason, he couldn’t help but think about Yesung. He pulled out his phone and saw that it had only been an hour since they’d said goodbye, but he refused to believe his friend would still be walking. _He must have gotten tired by now_ , he thought. _He probably took a cab back home._

Since the moment they had left the restaurant and Yesung had disappeared from his rear-view mirror as he drove away, Hyukjae hadn’t stopped thinking about his hyung’s weird behaviour during lunch. He had barely looked up from his phone and had only said one or two words during the whole meal. _He barely looked at me_ , he thought, not wanting to admit to himself that he’d been waiting for Yesung to flash him a smile. He definitely wasn’t ready to admit how much he needed to see that smile.

_He seemed fine when I got there…_ , he remembered. He suddenly wondered whether Donghae had noticed it too, since his friend hadn’t seemed too worried. Still, he figured, it wouldn’t hurt to ask.

Donghaek 

Haeeek

Hyukieee

Maybe it was just me but...

Did you notice something was off with Yesung hyung today?

Uhm… Not really

He seemed a little tired??

But we stayed up late last night so I didn’t find it weird

Why?

No reason

Forget it

You sure?

Yeah, don’t worry about it

You’re weird ~~

You’re the weird one, you idiot

Just remember to bring me my shirt on thursday, weirdo

Yeah yeah

See you on thursday

However, as he still stood outside, the wind in his face and the ruffling sound of the leaves made his fingers open up his chat with Yesung almost on their own. So without thinking too much, he typed a quick message and hit send before finally going inside.

Aesongie 

Hyung, are you home yet?

  
\------------------------------------------------

_I don’t know what hurts more, my head or my feet_ , thought Yesung. He’d been walking for over an hour, and he had to admit that Siwon was right - walking wasn’t for him. He only ever did it when he had to walk his dogs or when he was on vacation, since he then could take a relaxing stroll without any worries. At that moment, however, Yesung was in the opposite state to relaxation. His legs were hurting, his shoulders were still tense and his mind kept racing.

But since the world seemed determined to not leave him alone, his phone vibrated in his pocket and Hyukjae’s message popped on screen. _«Hyung, are you home yet?»_ , he read, but he didn’t open it. Instead, he just grunted and put the phone back in his pocket. 

_My head. Definitely my head._

  
\------------------------------------------------

“Mom! I’m home”, said Hyukjae after closing the door behind him. He left his shoes near the entrance and walked into the living room, where he expected to find his mother.

Being at such a high floor, there were no buildings that obstructed the view from the windows. The now black clouds covered up the sky, looking menacing as if they could engulf the entire city. _I really should have dragged you to the car, hyung._

“Hi, honey”, said his mother, as she walked down the hallway toward him. She kissed his cheek and took the bags from Hyukjae’s hand with a smile. “Thank you, you’re a lifesaver. I should have started cooking already.”

“You’ve still got plenty of time, ma. Don’t worry so much.”

“Of course I worry!”, she said. “This is important for your sister.”

His sister Sora and her boyfriend were coming over for dinner that night, and although they had already met him several times, it seemed the relationship was really getting serious, so his mother was determined to make everything perfect.

“Mhmm…”, he answered absentmindedly.

His mother disappeared into the kitchen and started listing all the things she had to do before dinner, but Hyukjae wasn’t listening. Instead, his eyes went from the dark clouds outside to the wall opposite the window, where a giant picture with the faces of all the members suddenly caught his attention.

Most of the members had even signed it when they had come over for dinner once, but as his eyes roamed the familiar faces, his gaze stopped at one in particular. _Was it all in my head?,_ he wondered as he focused on Yesung’s eyes. Yet, suddenly the distant sound of thunder interrupted his trail of thought.

“Honey?”, asked his mother, taking a peek into the living room. “Is something wrong?”

“No, it’s just… I think there’s a storm coming.”

“Oh, yeah. I heard it’s gonna be a big one too”, she said as she went back to her chores. “What did you do today?”

Hyukjae followed her into the kitchen, leaning on the counter as he tried to stay out of her way. “I saw Hae and Yesung hyung. It was hyung’s birthday yesterday so I treated him to lunch.”

“Oh, I’m gonna have to congratulate him next time I see him then”, she said excitedly, always a fan of all the members. “Or better yet, why don’t you invite him over tonight? Tell him I’ll cook him something special just for him.”

Hyukjae seemed surprised. “Really?”

“Of course! Besides, something tells me you’re gonna have a better time if one of your friends is here…”

_Ugh_ , he thought. _That’s right_. His sister’s boyfriend was particularly irritating to Hyukjae, since he asked for his opinion about everything all the time. He knew he was only trying to get to know him, but if this worked out for his sister and they ended up getting married, then they’d have a whole life ahead of them to do that. There was no need to force things.

But having Yesung there would definitely make it all more tolerable at least.

“Yeah, I’ll ask him…”, he said, suddenly seeming more cheerful, and pulled out his phone again.

  
  
\------------------------------------------------

As he scrolled down his phone looking for the loudest possible song to play, the name Yesung was trying to avoid suddenly popped up at the top of his screen. _«Hyuuung»_ , read the banner. 

_Ugh,_ _and then I’m the annoying one?,_ he thought. _No matter how far I walk, I can’t escape you, huh._ Still, he didn't open it, swiping away the notification as he refused to reply for now. He’d do it whenever he felt like it. Or at least that was what he told himself.

When he was only a couple of blocks away from his house, the first tiny droplets of rain started of fall, but since he wasn’t bothered enough by them, he decided not to take out his umbrella. After all, the cold drizzle wouldn’t hurt his head, which was practically boiling from thinking too much. 

And almost as if Hyukjae had sensed it all, Yesung’s phone suddenly vibrated again with a new message, making him sigh as as he pulled it out of his pocket. _You’re really not gonna leave me alone, are you?_

Hyukjae 

Hyung, are you home yet?

Hyuuung

YESUNG HYUNG

Not yet

Why?

Just making sure you didn't get lost or something :)

Also...

We’re having dinner with Sora at my parent’s tonight

And mom wants to tell you happy birthday

So she says you’re invited and that she’ll make something you’ll like

I’m sorry, I can’t

We’re having dinner with my grandparents

But please thank your mom for me

Oh, okay

See you later then

Yesung was just confused at this point. Why would Hyukjae invite him over if he can't stand him? At least, this time his excuse was real, but he wondered what he would have said had he not had any plans. The more he thought, the less he understood, but his mind stopped for a second when he saw Hyukjae was typing again. But just like that, minutes went by and the word « _Typing…»_ was still there, driving Yesung a little bit crazier by the second.

_He’s been typing for ten minutes. If he doesn’t hit send any time soon, I’m gonna lose it,_ he thought, deciding to put the phone back in his pocket just to stop staring at it. People usually say that water won't boil if you keep staring it, so he figured the same principle had to apply. And he was right, because only a few seconds later, he felt two distinct vibrations coming from his phone.

Hyukjae 

Hey, hyung…

_This message was deleted_

What?

Never mind, it was nothing

See ya

_It was_ nothing _?,_ he thought, now completely fed up with that kid. _I’m gonna kill him._

_\------------------------------------------------_

Hyukjae slowly put away his phone once he realized Yesung wasn’t going to reply back. _I just hope it was all in my head_ , he thought, letting out a deep sigh.

“He can’t make it”, he told his mother eventually.

But she didn’t need him to say it outloud. She was a mother after all, and she could easily recognize the disappointment in her son’s face even though he tried to hide it.

  
  



	4. August 27th

**August 27th**

The comeback was fast approaching and the time for individual photoshoots had finally come. Everything had to be done with utmost secrecy but as time was pressing on, several members had their photoshoots scheduled on the same day. 

Yesung knew he had the second slot, right after Leeteuk who had texted him earlier. Since they hadn’t seen each other since before Yesung’s birthday, the leader had told him he’d be staying over to have a cup of coffee after his session to keep him company while he got ready for his.

“You guys had a good time the other night, or so I heard”, said Leeteuk while he waited for his coffee to cool down a little.

“Yeah, although I think we all went a little overboard with the wine”, said Yesung with a chuckle. Still, he found the way Leeteuk had phrased his comment a little weird. “But what did you hear exactly?”

Leeteuk smiled smugly and pulled out his phone, pretending to be mysterious. Without any rush, he scrolled down seemingly looking for something, and when he seemed to find it, he turned the volume all the way up. “Just this…”, he said, signaling for him to listen before pressing play.

“ _Teukie-ah…_ ”, said the voice. Although it undoubtedly belonged to Heechul, his hyung sounded a bit off. In the distance they could hear a door closing, probably the one from his apartment since Heechul seemed to be trying to take his shoes off. After a few annoyed grunts, he seemed to have succeeded and just kept babbling on. “ _Why didn’t you come today? We had a really good time, for real… You… would have been very useful… Mmm, yes, very useful. But it’s alright… I’ve got you covered. It’s so hard to teach the kids, Teukie. I don’t know how you do it… but I think Yesung-ah got it, yes. He’s too soft with him… I told him that._ ”

Yesung would have been mortified if it hadn’t been the funniest thing he had ever heard. “He was drunk, hyung, but this is too much”, he cackled.

Leeteuk smiled but still put up a finger, telling him to keep quiet and keep listening. “ _Maybe Kyuhyunie is right and I’m just too harsh… But I have to be, Teukie. I can’t let anyone mess with you, no. You just keep taking care of everyone else and I’ll take care of you, okay? I love you, buddy, really… You’re the best…”_

When the voice message was finally over, they both started roaring with laughter. Yesung even had tears rolling down his face and although his make up artist was not happy when she saw she’d have to touch it up, to him it was almost cathartic. He really needed a good laugh like that.

“What did you write back?”, asked Yesung at last.

“I didn’t. What could I have said if I don’t even understand what he’s talking about?”, said Leeteuk. “But he does say something about you… Did that make any sense to you?”

He couldn’t say he understood completely. After all, it was just delusions from Heechul’s far-from-sober mind, but in the midst of all that nonsense, there were a few bits and pieces that did make sense to him. Still, although he hated lying to Leeteuk, the last thing Yesung needed was to have more people know about their conversation at the restaurant. Besides, the fact that Leeteuk didn’t know almost made him feel more at ease, as if he could behave normally around him. _And I need that normality_ , he thought. _I’m sorry, hyung._

Yesung just shrugged and shook his head, pretending not to get anything. “Do you think he even knows he sent it?”

“I don’t know but I doubt it.”

“Can I be there when you ask him?”, said Yesung, and with that they both started laughing again.

 _I really needed this_ , he thought mid-laugh. _Thank you._

  
  


The photoshoot had gone really well. He only had one last outfit change and they’d be over. While he was changing, he noticed how the stylists had taken away the clothes rack with the little sign that said _Siwon_ , and had brought in a new one.

A little bit confused, Yesung walked over to it to take a look at the new outfits. Siwon was supposed to have his photo shoot right after his but those clothes didn’t seem to be his style. _They wouldn’t fit him either_ , he thought as he looked at the size of one of the shirts. However, he suddenly noticed a little sign hanging on the other side of the rack, almost hidden, and he could immediately feel his jaw clenching as soon as he read the name on it. _Eunhyuk,_ it said.

Yesung turned around when his manager walked through the door, not even greeting him before asking: “Didn’t Siwon-ah have the next slot?”

“Huh?”, asked the manager, a bit thrown off by the apparent urgency of the question. “Oh, yeah, he did but it seems he traded his with Eunhyuk-ssi. Why?”

Yesung let out a deep sigh, simply going back to put the little sign back where he found it. “No reason. Never mind.”

Just like that, he turned to take a look at himself in the mirror one last time, making sure everything was in place and then hurried back to the studio. _The sooner I can get this over with, the better._

\------------------------------------------------  
  


Hyukjae had woken up to a call from Siwon, begging him to trade his slot for the photoshoot with his. He’d checked the clock on his bedside table, which read 10:03. _His slot is at 11:30…_ , he had thought, doing the math of how long it would take him to get to the studio.

“Sure, no problem”, he had said at last, only half-awake but getting up so he wouldn’t fall asleep again.

He had gotten changed and despite not really liking it, he made himself a cup of extra-sweet coffee to go, so at quarter to eleven he was already waiting downstairs for the car that would take him to the studio. Even with the effect of the caffeine starting to kick in, he didn’t really have the energy to do small talk yet, so he just kept quiet for most of the trip.

When the car pulled up in front of the studio, it wasn’t even 11:15 so he figured that whoever had the slot before him wouldn’t even be done yet.

“Who had the slot before Siwon?”, he asked his manager as they walked in.

“I think it was Yesung-ssi, if I’m not mistaken.”

If his manager noticed the way his answer suddenly boosted Hyukjae’s energy, he didn’t say anything, but his sudden impatience as they waited for the elevator was definitely hard to miss.

  
  


When the door opened on the second floor, Hyukjae could see so much movement. There were people moving around all over the place, carrying lights, clothes and equipment, but in the middle of all that chaos was the face he wanted to see.

Yesung seemed to be very focused on the directions he was getting from the photographer. His friend was serious, posing with his chin up and eyes fixed on the lens, but when Hyukjae slowly walked towards the camera, it was impossible for him to ignore him.

Yesung’s eyes looked away from the camera for a second, finding Hyukjae’s who waved hello with both hands. Still, Yesung didn’t give any sign of having seen him, and simply followed the photographer’s instruction to change up his pose. But weirdly enough, Hyukjae didn’t mind.

He didn’t know if it was the lights, the well-tailored suit or his hair being combed back but there was something about Yesung that made it impossible to look away. _He looks really good…_ , thought Hyukjae. But the extreme honesty of his own thoughts suddenly made him feel awkward, so he simply did what he would always do when that happened: joke around.

He moved towards the side so as not to be in the way of the photographer, and once he found a good spot, he started framing Yesung’s face with his fingers, closing one eye and analyzing him as if he was also going to take his picture.

“Wow, hyung. So sexy…”, said Hyukjae, making the staff laugh. “But why so serious, hyung? It’s supposed to be a colorful, cheerful comeback. We need more smiles and less _heuh_ …”

He had been so sure that would get a reaction out of Yesung. He didn’t know if his hyung would laugh or be upset, but Hyukjae would have been happy to get either. However, his friend continued to pose as if he hadn’t heard him at all. Although everyone else was laughing along, Yesung’s expressionless face made Hyukjae put down his arms, clearly disappointed. _I guess I’m not imagining it, am I?_

“Hyukjae-ssi”, said his manager, placing his hand on his shoulder. “They need you to start getting ready.”

“Oh…”, was all Hyukjae could say without looking away from Yesung. “I’ll be right there.”

He took a few steps back, resigned, turning around when he was sure enough that his friend wouldn’t look back at him. What he didn’t see, however, were the sad eyes that were suddenly fixed on his back the moment he turned away.

\------------------------------------------------  
  


_C’mon, c’mon, c’mon_ , thought Yesung as he put on his own clothes as fast as he could. Hyukjae was supposed to be getting his hair and makeup done for his photo shoot in the next room, so if he was fast enough, he’d be able to sneak away without having to see him.

When he was done putting on his pants, he quickly started looking around the room for his bag. It was the one thing he was missing and then he could leave. _Where is it, where is it?_

“Hey, hyung…”, he suddenly heard a voice say from the door. Yesung turned around expecting to find Hyukjae’s eyes looking right at him, but instead, he was only faced with the sad picture of his dongsaeng looking down at the floor with his bag hanging from his arm. “You left this in the other room.”

“Ah… I was looking for that. Thank you”, he said, approaching him to take it.

If he didn’t know better, Yesung would have said Hyukjae was trying to avoid his gaze, and as angry as he still was, just the thought of it made his chest tighten a little. _Be harsh, c’mon. You can do it_ , he told himself as he took a deep breath to regain some strength.

Yesung looked around, scanning the room to see if there was anything else he should grab, and when he didn’t find anything, he just shrugged. “I guess that’s everything then”, he said, not quite sure but more than eager to leave.

Hyukjae slowly lifted his eyes towards his face, strategically avoiding his eyes, but that didn’t stop him from noticing that Yesung hadn’t taken his makeup off yet. “Shouldn’t you take it off before you leave?”, he said, pointing vaguely at his face 

“Huh?”, said Yesung as he tried to understand. _Oh_ , he thought, lifting his hand up to his face. He took a quick look at the mirror on his left, where he saw his still flawless makeup and sighed. _I knew I was forgetting something._

Hyukjae’s loud frustrated sigh that followed was unexpected. “Come on now”, said the younger boy, suddenly taking his hand and dragging him to the room next door.

The room was now empty, but that wasn’t the reason why Hyukjae had brought him there. Above a small table in front of the mirror, he could see the makeup artist’s kit - concealers, palettes, all sorts of brushes, and of course, makeup wipes. 

Hyukjae grabbed one and gave it to Yesung, leaning on the table to look straight at him. “I don’t know why you’re in such a rush but this will take two seconds.”

Yesung didn’t fully get what was happening but he didn’t have the will to question it. He simply took the wipe Hyukjae had given him and started using it all over his face, getting closer to the mirror to see better. As he did that, Yesung didn’t dare to confirm it on the reflection in the mirror, but he was sure he could feel Hyukjae’s eyes fixed on him, following his every move.

When he thought he was done, Yesung finally straightened back up and turned to look at him, this time straight in the eye. “Done?”, he asked.

Hyukjae, still serious, nodded. All of a sudden, however, his dongsaeng frowned and started softly raising his hand towards Yesung’s face.

 _What is he doing?_ , he thought as he held his breath.

But when he didn’t back away, Hyukjae seemed to take it as permission. Yesung closed his eyes as Hyukjae’s hand got closer, softly pressing a finger against his skin. When he opened them again, Yesung saw how Hyukjae now held two fallen eyelashes in between his fingers, opening them up to show him. “Don’t be so harsh next time, hyung”, said Hyukjae.

His voice had been low, even sweet maybe, but to Yesung his words felt like a stab. _Harsh…_ , he thought, finally letting out the air he’d been holding in. _You had to use that word._ Hyukjae had also seemed to notice something had upset him because his now confused eyes were now staring at Yesung’s as if he were analyzing them.

He wasn’t sure how long he had managed to hold his gaze, but Hyukjae’s eyes and his overwhelming proximity suddenly felt suffocating. _I have to get out of here_ , thought Yesung panicking a little. 

He immediately took a step back, clearing his throat to try to change the atmosphere in the room, but Hyukjae just kept his gaze on him. “You’re leaving already?”, he asked.

“Yeah…”, said Yesung, barely nodding. “I have a few things to do. Good luck with the shoot.”

“Yeah… thanks.”

Yesung put his bag on his shoulder and turned to head for the door, but he stopped in his tracks when he heard Hyukjae plop down on the chair in front of the mirror.

When he turned back, Hyukjae was sitting with his back towards him but he could still see his clearly worried face in his reflection. _I really don’t get you_ , thought Yesung equally as confused as his dongsaeng. But in the end, Heechul was right. He couldn’t stand seeing him like this.

“Hyukjae-ah”, he said. The other boy seemed surprised, as if he hadn’t noticed that Yesung was still there. When their met in the reflection of the mirror, Yesung lost a battle against his own power of will, allowing himself to crack half a smile before he went on. “You shouldn't be so serious either… Like you said, it’s a colorful, cheerful comeback after all.”

He’d curse himself later for putting his guard down, but at the moment, the way Hyukjae’s face lit up in the mirror made it all worth it.

His friend answered with a wide smile, seeming to be infinitely happy to get more than two words out of Yesung and just nodded enthusiastically. “See you tomorrow, hyung.”

 _Right…_ , he remembered suddenly. _We’ve got rehearsal._ But now the idea didn’t seem as terrible as it would have just an hour earlier.

“See ya”, he said, still smiling lightly and finally headed out the door.

  
  


When he walked out of the building and onto the street, a ray of sunshine suddenly hit his face and Yesung was surprised. _I thought it was cloudy today_ . And although he didn’t have his sunglasses with him, the warmth on his skin was slightly comforting after so many gray days. _I’d forgotten what sunshine felt like._

On the ride back home, Yesung kept quiet but he was in a notoriously better mood. Still, while he enjoyed the warm sunshine coming through the window, he pulled out his phone and decided to check the weather report for the week.

 _Cloudy_ , he read. But as he suddenly remembered the group would be leaving for Jeju Island on Thursday, Yesung thought he might still be able to see the sun. With a little hope, he immediately changed the location on his app but he only got an even more disappointing sound. _Rain and thunderstorms. I guess I’ll have to bring an umbrella._

After making that mental note, he lifted his head up for a moment and closed his eyes, enjoying the last little bit of warmth he’d get. Behind his eyelids, Hyukjae’s bright smile in the mirror was still in his mind, pulling out an involuntary smile from him too.

But when he remembered the words Hyukjae had said, the clouds suddenly covered the sun back up again, making him go back to the gray cold from the previous days. _Don’t be so harsh_ , had said Hyukjae while his eyes had seemed to be begging the same. Yesung sighed, as if the words still stung, and opened his eyes again to see the clouds taking over the sky again.

With that, by the time he got back home, his calm expression was long gone as confusion took its place.

 _I think I don’t understand you anymore, Hyuk-ah_ , he thought. _But I don’t know if I ever did._


	5. August 28th

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick context: If you don't remember, a couple of months before Time Slip came out Shindong was really sick for a while and had to rest a lot, so that's why he's not joining the practice in this chapter. Also, Ryeowook and Kyuhyun were still living together at the dorm back then too :)

**August 28th**

Yesung got to the practice studio carrying a small suitcase and his bag, all ready for the trip they embarking on the next day. Since he lived the furthest away from the members, they’d decided it would be easier if Yesung slept at the dorm that night with Kyuhyun and Ryeowook, so after they were done with practice, he’d be leaving with the maknaes.

After most members had moved away, some of the dorm rooms had been transformed for other purposes but others still remained the same. Every once in a while, in cases like this, Yesung and the other members would still use them before a trip or some kind of event, so that they would be able to leave together at the same time in the morning.

That day after having prepared everything beforehand, Yesung was actually arriving early for once, so he was surprised to see that almost everyone was already there.

“Yesex!”, yelled Siwon from the other side of the room, lifting up his arm to wave at him enthusiastically.

His greeting made the others notice him too, as Ryeowook stopped his conversation with Kyuhyun to hug his favorite hyung.

“Yesung hyuuung!”, he said. Yesung just smiled warmly and hugged him tight. “I missed you. Did you have fun the other night?”

“Ah, yeah, we had fun”, said Yesung mockingly, looking over Ryeowook’s shoulder straight at Kyuhyun. “But I don’t know if Kyuhyun-ah could have told you much about it…I don’t think he remembers that night at all.” 

His comment made his members laugh. When Yesung turned to grab his suitcase again, he also noticed Leeteuk in the other corner of the room. The leader was talking to one of the dancers, so Yesung just raised his hand to say hello from afar. His hyung smiled and returned the gesture, but he didn’t stop his conversation.

“You guys are always trying to make me look bad”, whined Kyuhyun jokingly. When Yesung walked over to him, the maknae just extended his arm to offer him a high five so he wouldn’t have to get up.

“You already do that yourself, Kyuhyun-ah”, laughed Yesung.

Kyuhyun just threw himself at Ryeowook, who had just sat back next to him. “Ryeonguuu!”, he fake cried, hiding his face in the crook of his neck. “I’m being attacked…”

Ryeowook laughed but hugged him anyway as he pretended to calm him down. “There, there…”

Yesung laughed, shaking his head incredulously like he did every time Kyuhyun pretended to be a small kid. _And then they say I’m the soft one…_ , he thought, leaving his suitcase and his bag at the seating area before walking towards Siwon.

His dongsaeng, who was charging up his phone at the other side of the room, stopped what he was doing when he saw him.

“You…”, said Yesung, pointing at him. He narrowed his eyes trying to seem menacing, but anyone could tell he wasn’t serious. “I’m going to kill you.”

Yesung only punched his arm and laughed, making Siwon hug him tightly - maybe even too tightly - but he eventually let him go.

“What did I do, hyung? What did I do?”, he said, shaking him lightly. His gigantic dongsaeng then leaned down to look at him with his best puppy eyes, as if asking for forgiveness without even knowing why.

“You switched your slot with Hyukjae yesterday…”, said Yesung in a whisper, as he looked around. He hoped that would be enough for Siwon to understand, but the clear confusion in his friend’s face told him to explain further. “I had the slot before yours.”

It took Siwon a few seconds to process it but he eventually seemed to get it, making him laughing silently.

“You ran into him?”, he asked, quite amused. Yesung only nodded, trying and failing to keep a straight face. “So? How did it go?”

“Ugh… I don’t know”, said Yesung, trying to avoid to think about it too much. “I wasn’t ready to see him yet. It wasn’t bad, but I wouldn’t say it went well either.”

“That’s alright, hyung. I’m sure it’ll be easier for you when we’re around. We’ll help you.”

“It’s fine. You don’t need to do that.” Yesung insisted. “Really.”

_I don’t even know if you could help, anyway._

Besides, that day he wouldn’t be able to ignore him much. Donghae wasn’t able to make it and Shindong was still recovering so he couldn’t join the practice. That left Hyukjae as the only dancer he could take as reference. _Let’s be professional, c’mon. At least just for today_ , he told himself. So for a little while, Yesung was willing to put his troubled thoughts aside and focus on what they had to do, but of course, it was definitely easier said than done. 

All of a sudden, however, his conversation with Siwon was interrupted when two figures walked through the door of the studio and a familiar voice filled up the room.

“Well, well, well…”, said Shindong cheerfully as he made his grand entrance.

“I brought a surprise today”, said Hyukjae pointing at Shindong with both arms.

“Did you guys miss me?”

“Shindong hyung!”, said Kyuhyun and Ryeowook in unison as they stood up to greet him.

Leeteuk, equally as surprised, also interrupted his conversation and walked over to hug his dongsaeng. “I thought they’d have you quarantined until tomorrow”, he said laughing cheerfully.

“Yeah… I wasn’t really allowed to do anything until tomorrow but I insisted so much that I think my manager just got tired of me”, he laughed. “But what difference does one day make, right? It’s no big deal.”

When Yesung and Siwon walked over to greet him as well, the latter just gave Shindong the biggest hug, leaving Yesung waiting behind as he refused to let go. However Hyukjae, who still standing next to Shindong, was more focused on the image of Yesung smiling than on the reunion happening beside him.

Somehow convinced that he could feel a pair of eyes on him, Yesung looked away for a second; his eyes immediately running into Hyukjae’s warm smile.

“Hi, hyung”, he said barely in a whisper.

 _I can’t do this if you keep looking at me like that,_ thought Yesung, changing his smile for a more modest one. “Hi.”

They held each other’s gaze for a long second until Siwon finally let go of Shindong and Yesung got his turn.

 _Be professional, be professional,_ he told himself again, forcing himself to show a wide smile again for his returning dongsaeng.

\------------------------------------------------

They were all happy with how practice turned out. Leeteuk had had to leave earlier and Siwon was now unplugging his phone since he knew they’d all be leaving soon. Kyuhyun and Hyukjae, on their part, were still rehearsing a move that seemed complicated, and Yesung had just plopped down on the floor to rest while Ryeowook changed his shirt.

Shindong, who hadn’t participated actively, had been watching them carefully from the side anyway. Sitting with his laptop behind the desk, he’d been analyzing everything with the eye of a director more than as a member. But from where he was sitting, the choreography wasn’t the only thing he’d seen.

Every time they had taken a little break, Hyukjae’s eyes had immediately found Yesung in the reflection in the mirror, following his every move. His hyung, on the other hand, seemed to be avoiding Hyukjae’s gaze as if it burned. Both of them equally as suspicious.

And so, after noticing it several times, Shindong didn’t have any doubts. He wasn’t imagining it. _What’s up with these two today?_ , he thought, confused.

\------------------------------------------------

Now that they were nearly finished, Ryeowook was putting his shirt back on, checking his reflection on one of the mirrors on the side. Yet his movements suddenly stopped when he saw Yesung in the reflection, sitting with his face towards the main mirror as he kept his eyes focused on Hyukjae. The expression on his face was so unusual that Ryeowook even turned around to look at him directly.

While Hyukjae was explaining one of the dance moves to Kyuhyun, Yesung’s eyes roamed up and down Hyukjae’s figure in the mirror. However, when Hyukjae suddenly seemed to feel his piercing stare, he also stopped for a second.

Ryeowook was expecting him to make a sarcastic comment or to simply tell Yesung to stop looking at him like that. But he didn’t. Instead, when he found Yesung’s eyes in the mirror, the main dancer just smiled and lowered his hat, looking embarrassed. Yesung, on the other hand, instantly looked away, almost as if he had been caught doing something naughty.

 _Huh…_ , thought Ryeowook, quite surprised. _This is new._

  
\------------------------------------------------

Eventually they decided to call it a day. The members and the other dancers clapped to congratulate everyone’s hard work before starting to gather up their stuff. Kyuhyun, Ryeowook and Yesung, who already had a car waiting for them downstairs, rushed to grab their bags and waved goodbye to the other members before heading out.

Siwon didn’t take too long to get ready either, simply putting the strap of his bag over his shoulder and heading towards the door after the others.

“Hey, Masi!” Hyukjae called after him. “Can you hold up for a minute? I wanted to ask you something.”

The serious tone in his friend’s voice didn’t go unnoticed, so he just stopped at the door. “Sure, what’s up?” 

Hyukjae walked over to him but he just stood next to him without saying a word, smiling and waving at the other dancers and assistants who walked passed them. It was only when most people had already left and Hyukjae seemed satisfied with their privacy that his friend finally spoke again.

“I saw you talking to Yesung hyung before we started…”, said Hyukjae almost as a question.

“Yeah…?”

Hyukjae seemed to be struggling to find the right words but after a few seconds he apparently gave up, letting out a small resigned sigh. “Did he seem… okay… to you?”

“What do you mean?”, asked Siwon, not quite following.

“I asked Hae about it too after we had lunch with him the other day, but he said he didn’t notice anything weird. Didn’t he seem a little off to you?”

 _Ohhh…_ , thought Siwon as it all finally clicked in his head. _So he already managed to make you worry, Hyuk._

“You mean Yesung hyung?” He pretended to ignore the situation. Hyukjae just nodded, clearly curious to hear his answer. “Uhm… No, not really. Same old Yesung. Why?”

Hyukjae frowned, obviously not upset by Siwon’s answer but it still seemed to make him even more confused. “I don’t know, it’s just…”

“It’s just…what?”

His friend just stood there gaping for a second as if he was going to say something but never did. Instead, he just shook his head as if he was trying to clear his mind, and suddenly changed his expression into a smile that anyone who knew him would recognize as forced. “It’s nothing”, he said at last. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, really”, he said, not sounding in the slightest bit convincing. “Go. See you tomorrow.”

Siwon analyzed his expression for a moment, but eventually decided to give in. “Okay then. See ya”, he said. He then also raised his voice and turned to Shindong, who was still focused on his computer screen on the other side of the room. “See you tomorrow, hyung!”

Shindong looked up and waved back with a smile. “See you!”

Just like that, Siwon walked out of the studio and started walking towards the elevators at the end of the hallway. Once he had left Hyukjae well behind, he let out a small chuckle just to himself. _I didn’t think it’d be this easy._

  
\------------------------------------------------

“Wait here, I’ll be right back!” Yesung yelled at Ryeowook and Kyuhyun, who were walking only a few steps in front of him. 

He left them his suitcase and his bag and rushed back into the building and down the hallway towards the elevators. Once he pressed the button though, he didn’t have to wait long for one of the doors to open up and show a familiar face. 

“Hyung!”, said Siwon, obviously not expecting him to run into him. “Still here?”

“I just forgot my hat. Ryeowook and Kyuhyun-ah are waiting for me outside.” Despite being in a rush, Yesung couldn’t help but notice that Siwon couldn’t wipe the cheeky smile off his face. _Now what?_ , he wondered, somehow sensing it would have something to do with him. “And you? What’s that smile for?”

“Hyuk just wanted to talk to me”, said Siwon. “He asked about you.”

Yesung suddenly took a sharp breath, letting the air back out slowly, trying to put on a fake uninterested smile. Although he was dying to know exactly what Hyukjae had said, he refused to lose his pride by asking, so he simply said. “Oh, really?”

Siwon nodded. “He seemed worried, hyung. I don’t what you’ve done but it’s definitely working.”

Yesung didn’t know how to feel about it. On one hand, he thought about Hyukjae’s disappointed face from the day before and how he really didn’t want to see him like that again, but on the other, he had to admit he was a little glad to hear that his dongsaeng was worried about him.

Lost in thought, he simply walked past Siwon in silence and stepped onto the elevator.

“See you tomorrow, hyung”, said Siwon when he saw Yesung press the button to the second floor.

Yesung just lifted his gaze back up and smile, waving at him before the door closed in front of him. As the elevator started going up, Yesung kept staring at the floor focused on a single thought, repeating it in his mind as if it somehow would make it easier to believe it. _He actually worries about me._

\------------------------------------------------

“So?” Hyukjae asked as he walked over towards Shindong. “How do you think it looked?”

“It looked great. We only have to rehearse all together at least once, but it looks pretty put together already”, said Shindong. “And with time to spare. That never happens.” 

While Shindong finished putting his things back in his bag, Hyukjae just leaned on the desk to wait. Yet, suddenly a little black something caught his eye as it lay under the chair at the other side of the room. He stood up to pick it up, knowing exactly what it was the moment he held it in his hand. He turned it around, logo facing forward, and dusted it off carefully. _Yesung hyung’s hat_ , he thought. _I’ll give it back to him later._

Hyukjae hadn’t brought any bag where he could keep it so he just folded it a little and kept holding it in his hand.

“Oh, that’s hyung’s hat, isn’t it? Here, I’ll put it in my bag.”

“No, it’s fine”, said Hyukjae, now holding it against his abdomen. The gesture didn’t go unnoticed to Shindong, but he didn’t say anything. “I’ll give it to him.”

His friend just shrugged. “Suit yourself.”

“So?” Hyukjae tried to change the subject. “What have you been up to these days?”

Shindong sighed, frustrated. “Not much really… They didn’t even let me go to Yesung hyung’s birthday dinner the other night. It was all driving me a little crazy. My manager took the ‘complete rest’ thing way too seriously.”

They both laughed but Hyukjae was actually thankful that Shindong was able to take enough time off to rest properly and get better.

“And thanks for standing in for me at the show”, said Shindong. “I’m sorry you couldn’t go to the party either.”

“Ah, that’s alright. Besides, I treated Yesung hyung to lunch anyway so it wasn’t that bad.”

“Oh, right… You said your mom invited him to dinner too. The one with Sora and her boyfriend?”

“Yeah…” Hyukjae chuckled, finding the whole situation a little funny. “But he couldn’t make it.”

They could suddenly hear the sound of the elevator door opening in the distance but neither of them paid it too much attention.

“So how was that?”, asked Shindong, knowing how Hyukjae felt about his sister’s boyfriend. “It was on Sunday, wasn’t it?”

Hyukjae nodded. “It was alright, I guess. The food was really good but the mood was just… weird.”

“Oh, why?”

“I don’t know”, said Hyukjae, shrugging. “He was very quiet.”

“And you don’t know why?”

“Nope”, said Hyukjae, not really caring about it too much. “It’s not a complaint, though. That’s actually what made it more tolerable.”

Hyukjae laughed, until all of a sudden the loud sound of a door slamming closed made him jump in his place. The both looked at each other, finding it strange, but when only silence followed, they simply shrugged and carried on without thinking about it.

With the jump scare, Hyukjae had tightened his grip on Yesung’s hat, so when he calmed down, he took it with both hands and tried to straighten it back. He looked at it for a few seconds, while Shindong was curiously looking at him, and without lifting his head, he admitted: “I would have had a better time if Yesung hyung had been there, though…”

There were a few seconds of silence until Shindong couldn’t hold in his laughter anymore. “Awww…”, he said as he pulled out his phone. “I’m gonna tell him you said that.”

“No, hyuuuung!” Hyukjae laughed before jumping on him.

Shindong was now cackling while Hyukjae tried to take his phone away. “Fine, fine!” He surrendered. “I won’t tell him… for now.”

“Hyuuung!” Hyukjae whined again.

They both kept laughing, and when Shindong was finally ready again, they headed for the exit. _I’d missed you, hyung_ , thought Hyukjae, now in a better mood than he had been in days.

Unfortunately for him, it wouldn’t last him very long.

  
\------------------------------------------------

He didn’t even think about heading back to the elevator. He just saw the door to the emergency staircase in front of him and didn’t think twice. _He was very quiet_ , Hyukjae’s voice said again inside his head. The echo of his laughter was unbearable. _That’s actually what made it more tolerable._

Little by little words started to fade and were instead replaced by an overwhelming buzz. He wasn’t sure if it was in his ears or inside his mind, but it was so deafening that he didn’t even hear the loud noise the door made when he slammed it shut behind him.

Suddenly he had forgotten why he’d gone up in the first place; his hat now long forgotten. He just needed to get out of the there. Fast. He ran down the stairs, skipping over every other step with his eyes very much fixed on the floor. And so when he finally made it to the ground floor, he stopped at the entrance hall to dry a lost tear that was falling down his face.

Without thinking, he closed his eyes and for a moment he just tried to focus on his breathing. _Inhale, exhale_ , he told himself a couple of times, noticing how the fresh air coming in through the main door was helping him to calm down.

“Yesung hyung!” Ryeowook’s voice interrupted him. He opened his eyes slowly, and although everyone around him was looking at him, he didn’t seem to notice or care. His dongsaeng, who was coming back to look for him, rushed over with a concerned look in his face and grabbed him by the shoulders. “Are you okay?”

 _No_ , he thought. _Definitely not._

Still, it took Yesung a few second to reply outloud. He simply took a deep breath one last time, and under Ryeowook’s close inspecting gaze, he let the air out little by little as he nodded slowly. “Yeah…” He lied. “Let’s just go.”

He didn’t wait for Ryeowook to reply and instead headed straight for the exit. Only a few feet away from the door, Kyuhyun was already waiting for them in the back seat of the car.

“Huh?”, said Kyuhyun from afar when he saw the serious expression on Yesung’s face. ”What’s wrong, hyung?”

But Yesung ignored him and simply walked around the car to the passenger seat. He opened the door, and sat there in silence after closing it a little too loudly. Kyuhyun, dumbfounded, just signed silently to Ryeowook to ask if there was something wrong. But when the other maknae entered the car, he could only shrug, letting Kyuhyun know he didn’t understand what was happening either.

Yesung was quiet the whole drive to the dorm. Both of the maknaes were confused but neither dared to ask him what was wrong again or why he had come back without his hat.

Now as tiny droplets fell on the windscreen, Yesung tried to focus on them instead of the pain he was feeling inside his chest. Whether it was sorrow, stress or fury, he wasn’t sure, but maybe it was all three of them. _He actually worries about me_ , he’d thought earlier. The words echoed again in his mind, but now Yesung could only huff out a small laugh in disbelief at his own naivety. 

All of a sudden, he felt something stir inside him, and at the moment a single emotion seemed to win the battle. At least, he thought, fury was not paralyzing.

_Then let him worry._


	6. August 29th: Part I

**August 29th**

Yesung had gone to bed early the night before. He’d grabbed his food and with the excuse of having a headache, he’d gone back to his room to eat.

“Kyu…”, had said Ryeowook, pointing at his hyung’s door. “He hasn’t come back out, right?”

“He must have fallen asleep. Don’t worry so much.”

Before going to bed, however, Ryeowook had knocked softly on his door anyway, and when he didn’t get answer, he’d decided to take a look. Just by peeking an eye inside, he could see the clear figure of Yesung curled up into a ball on the bed. He’d fallen asleep on top of the sheets and he was still dressed, but at least the empty bowl on his nightstand at meant he’d eaten.

In the morning Yesung woke up in the same position in which Ryeowook had seen him hours earlier. The first thing he noticed, even before opening his eyes, was that he still had his phone in his hand. So he rolled onto his back, stretching out a little before opening his eyes slowly to check the time. _6:14_ , he read once his eyes adjusted to the brightness of the screen. But unfortunately for him, there were also a few notifications that he couldn’t ignore.

Hyukjae 

Hyung, you left your hat at the practice room

I’ll give it to you tomorrow

_Ughhhh…_ , he groaned. _I’m not in the mood to deal with you right now, Hyukjae._ In any case, the messages were from seven hours ago so he figured there was no point in replying anymore. Nor did he want to. He locked his phone again, sitting up in his bed since he knew he wasn’t going to fall asleep again. He looked down, seeing his wrinkled clothes from the day before and he immediately started taking it off. He got up, plugged in his phone to let it charge and pulled out the clothes he’d brought for the trip. 

By the time Ryeowook and Kyuhyun got up, Yesung had already taken a shower, he’d washed the bowl he’d used the night before and he’d even prepared a little something for them to eat before the car picked them up.

When the two youngest members finally appeared in the kitchen, they had both changed out of their pajamas although they weren’t fully awake yet.

Ryeowook walked in first, smiling at him when he saw him up and ready to go. “How are you feeling, hyung? Better?”

“He made breakfast…”, said Kyuhyun, walking in behind him. He yawned. “Whatever it is, it must be serious.”

Yesung just sighed, rolling his eyes as he pretended to be upset. “And here I was thinking I should apologize for not treating you well yesterday…”

Kyuhyun only found his reaction funny. Still half asleep, he opened up his arms, laughing as he walked over to hug him. Yesung put up a little fight but he ended up letting him, not being able to hold back his smile when the maknae tried to touch his philtrum.

Kyuhyun was obviously entertained. “All better now?”

“Yeah, yeah… I’m feeling better”, said Yesung, shaking him off. “Just hurry up and eat. The car will be here soon.”

And so while his friends ate, Yesung went to unplug his phone and put his charger back in his bag. It was the last thing he had to put away and then he’d be ready. After dragging his suitcase back to the living room, he plopped down on the couch to scroll on his phone while they waited. And soon enough, their doorbell rang and the three of them were ready to head out.

  
\------------------------------------------------

In the last few weeks the members had all shot a few things in Jeju for SJ Returns individually or in small groups. Yet, for the season finale they’d decided the whole group would be travelling together. Despite the weather report looking gloomy, the members seemed excited, specially since they’d arranged to take two extra days off just to rest a little before all the promotions for the comeback. For once, they’d be able to have fun without cameras or work. Just an escapade among friends.

Once the three vans arrived at the airport, the doors opened simultaneously and the members started getting down one by one. A whole crew of people also emerged from another two vans behind them; some from security, some staff members from the show and a couple of assistants.

Hyukjae, who was the first one out, waved at the cameras and the fans who were waiting for them near the entrance. However, while Donghae and Leeteuk climbed down behind him, he couldn’t help but notice how from the van behind theirs emerged the person he wanted to see the most. 

He stared at him for a few seconds, watching how Yesung helped his dongsaengs with a smile. The elder had not put on his mask yet, so as Hyukjae’s eyes roamed his face, he suddenly noticed how his eyes got smaller as his smile got wider. So, as he thought about the infinite number of times he and Yesung had laughed together, he wondered how he hadn’t noticed that before. _It’s been a while since he last smiled at me like that_ , he thought sadly. And just like that, the desire of having that cheerful expression directed at him quickly turned into a need.

“Hyukie…”, said Donghae trying to bring him back to earth. But when Hyukjae didn’t reply, he tried it louder. “Hyukie!”

Hyukjae jumped, startled. “What?”

“Grab your stuff”, said Donghae, pointing at his suitcase now on the ground. 

“Oh… yeah.” That was all he managed to say, taking a deep sigh as he tried to pull himself together. _There are cameras, Hyukjae, for god’s sake_ , he told himself as he pulled up the handle of his suitcase. _Focus._  
  


_\------------------------------------------------_

Siwon, Shindong and Heechul were also taking their luggage out of the van toward the front, so after Leeteuk had grabbed his, he walked over to say hello.

"What's up, hyung?" Siwon greeted him with a hug. Since it was one of those questions that didn't actually expect an answer, Siwon ran off to say hello to Donghae the moment he let go. They seemed like children those two, running toward each other in a fake slow motion. Leeteuk laughed, rolling his eyes since he was already used to things being crazy around him.

"Ah, these kids never change, do they?" Heechul was watching the same scene, standing behind him.

Leeteuk turned around as soon as he heard his voice. His friend's now bright red hair was peeking out in some places where his hat wasn't covering it. The strong color contrasted strikingly against Heechul's particularly white skin, but Leeteuk thought he liked how it looked. All of a sudden, however, he remembered the voice message he’d received a few days ago, which only made him smile timidly. _Do you think he remembers?_ , he asked himself. But almost as an answer to his unspoken question, Heechul tilted his head, apparently confused by the expression on his friend’s face. “What is it, Teukie?”

The natural smile on Heechul’s face showed no trace of embarrassment or shame, so Leeteuk suspected his friend didn’t have a clue about the existence of that message. The idea only seemed funnier.

“It’s nothing…”, he said, smiling wider as he gave him a side hug. “How’re you doing, Heechul-ah?”

Shy as every time when Leeteuk showed him any sign of affection, Heechul bent his head down and smiled as he returned the hug. “I’m good. You?”

“I’m good… really good”, he said, now laughing on the inside. _I can’t wait to see your face when you listen to it_.

  
\------------------------------------------------

Hyukjae grabbed his suitcase and walked over to where Shindong was already waiting for him.

“Are you ready for your official return?” Hyukjae smiled and nodded toward the commotion that was waiting for them ahead.

Shindong just smiled, grabbing him by the shoulders. “I was born ready.”

When Shindong started letting go slowly, time seemed to stop for Hyukjae. With his eyes still on the ground, he knew exactly how things would go when he looked up, being able to visualize it in his mind as if it were a movie he’d seen a thousand times before.

When he finally looked up, Hyukjae would be able to see Kyuhyun in the distance waiting for Ryeowook, who would have stayed behind to look for something in his backpack. Behind him, Leeteuk and Heechul would be trading timid smiles and half hugs, and as always Siwon and Donghae would be beside him, greeting each other as if they were kids reuniting after a long summer vacation. And right in front of him, he’d see him.

Yesung would be waiting to say hello, his eyes warmer than anyone else’s, and Hyukjae wouldn’t be able to hold back a smile. His hyung would come closer, he’d put his arm around his shoulders and say something ridiculous with an exaggerated english accent that never failed to make him laugh. He’d grab Yesung by the waist, and just the shy attempt to hide his smile would be enough to put one on the older one’s face.

But it wasn’t like that this time.

When he eventually looked up and time went back to normal, the space in front of him was empty. Although the rest of the picture in his mind remained the same, he felt suddenly lost when he didn’t find Yesung’s eyes where they were supposed to be. _Huh… Strange_ , he thought. And so he looked around, trying to find them, but when he turned around, he only found the back of Yesung’s head as he walked away.

His hyung had definitely walked around him, and without looking back, was heading toward the front of the group to say hello to his hyungs. Yet, Hyukjae’s feet moved on their own, as if they needed to go find the smile Yesung owed him, so the older one was surprised when a heavy arm on his shoulders suddenly stopped him.

“What’s wrong, hyung?” Hyukjae put on the best smile he could manage. “You don’t say hello anymore?” 

But when the eyes he was looking for finally turned to him, they weren’t the same ones Hyukjae remembered. Instead of their usual warmth, Yesung’s gaze was cold and it felt empty. His eyes seemed to look straight through him as if they weren’t looking at anything at all, and for a moment, Hyukjae got chills down his spine.

Yesung’s face remained serious for a second until he managed a slight side smile that just felt insincere.

“Sorry”, said Yesung almost in a monotone voice. “Hello, Hyukjae-ah.”

Hyukjae gulped, not really being able to pinpoint what exactly was making him nervous. “I brought your hat”, he said, just to avoid his own discomfort. 

“Oh, yeah. I saw your message.”

Normally, Hyukjae would have complained about not having received a reply, but at that moment, he didn’t dare. “It’s in my suitcase. I’ll give it you later.” 

“Okay”, said Yesung. “Thanks.”

With that, he just stopped in his tracks to let Hyukjae get ahead. So while Yesung joined Kyuhyun and Ryeowook who were walking behind them, Hyukjae barely had time to react before one of the bodyguards asked him to join the group ahead.

When he joined the others, he could only turn for a second to look at him again before he was being pushed to cross the little narrow street toward the entrance of the airport. Yet it was time enough to see how Yesung’s face seemed to regain its color as soon as he talked to the maknaes. _It’s me, isn’t it?_ , he thought. _I’m actually the problem._

  
\------------------------------------------------

While the other members were already walking into the airport, Yesung’s eyes focused on a singular head in the middle of the crowd.

When he eventually saw Hyukjae disappear through the door, Yesung let himself drop his smile for a second. He pulled out his mask and put it on quickly, taking one last moment to relax before they were thrown into the chaos waiting for them straight ahead.

And so, when the time came to cross, Yesung sighed, mentally preparing himself to change back his expression in front of the cameras. After all, he knew it wouldn’t be the last time he’d have to do it on this trip.

When everyone had their plain ticket in their hand, the members started to see who they’d be sitting next to. Leeteuk would be travelling with Shindong, Kyuhyun with Ryeowook, Donghae would sit with Siwon and Yesung had the hope of being the one who’d be sitting on their own. But he wasn’t. _Of course not._

He hoped they’d given him Heechul’s seat but he couldn’t ask him to switch either. Since Heechul’s seat was on the first row, he’d have more leg space for him to be comfortable, so that meant he could only ask Donghae or Siwon.

So, before boarding, Yesung waited for a moment when Hyukjae went to the bathroom to approach them.

“Yah, Donghae-ah”, said Yesung, trying to be inconspicuous. “Switch seats with me.”

Donghae laughed. “Oh c’mon, hyung… It’s not that bad. You only have to ignore him for a little while.” 

“This _is_ me ignoring him”, said Yesung, obviously annoyed. “Do you want to help or not?”

“Whatever, Hae”, said Siwon. “I’ll switch with you, hyung.”

“No, Siwon-ah”, Yesung stopped him decisively. “Not you.”

His reaction surprised everyone, even himself. But Yesung figured it made sense. After overhearing Hyukjae talking about him with Donghae and Shindong, he had no way of knowing how many of the members knew about how Hyukjae really felt about him or how long they’d known, so although he tried not to think about it, it was still enough enough to make him feel tense.

So, in a way, Yesung had unconsciously classified Siwon as someone he could trust. Of course, there was no guarantee that he wouldn’t know either, but at least Yesung felt more at ease with him. And at that moment, that was more than enough. 

“C’mon, Hae. Please”, Yesung begged.

Yet Donghae, who perhaps knew him a little too well, seemed to suspect something. “Why can’t he do it?”

After remaining silent for a few seconds, Yesung just stood there gaping but he couldn’t come up with an excuse.

“Because he also wants you far away, Donghae-ah”, said Heechul all of a sudden, coming to his rescue.

Siwon and Yesung chuckled but Donghae seemed offended. “Hyuuung!”, he whined.

“And he’ll want you even further away if you don’t do as he asks.”

“Okay… fine, fine”, he agreed at last. Still, he walked over to Yesung with a pout on his face. “Don’t ignore me like you’re doing with Hyuk, hyung. I do love you.”

Yesung decided to ignore the fact that it maybe implied that Hyukjae didn’t, and instead, he just smiled. Nobody could hold up against Donghae’s pouting anyway. _Don’t be mean. I like him_ , had said his friend that day back at the restaurant, standing up for him against Hyukjae. At least that thought made him feel a little bit better. So before Donghae walked away, Yesung caressed his nape affectionately and thought: _Love you too, dummy._

Sometimes Donghae would miss the obvious even if it was staring at him in the face, but other times he seemed to have a sixth sense that Yesung couldn’t explain. His friend had spent the whole boarding process glued to his back, with his head peeking slightly over his shoulder. While he dragged his carry-on bag with one hand, he hugged Yesung’s waist with the other arm. And Yesung decided to let him. To tell the truth, he needed that hug but Donghae seemed to have noticed that even before he had. _I underestimate him too much sometimes_ , he thought, patting the hand that was now on his abdomen.

They let everyone go before them, so they were the last ones to board. The woman checking their tickets even let out a small chuckle when they walked over together, but she didn’t say anything. She looked at Yesung’s first but when she gave it back to him, he showed no intention of moving. Instead, he just waited until she also looked at Donghae’s before going ahead together.

“Have a nice trip”, she said.

“Thank you”, they replied in tandem.

While everyone from the airline was still chuckling to themselves, they both grabbed their bags with the same hand they were holding their passports, and walked down the runway that led to the plane.

“Are you sure you want to switch?” Donghae asked before going in, but Yesung just nodded. “Okay then… if you’re really sure…” 

The hallway of the plane wasn’t wide enough for both of them to fit with their bags, so they had to split apart as they walked in. 

Yesung went first, giving a small bow to the flight attendants, but as he turned right, the first thing his eyes found was Hyukjae’s anxious gaze looking straight at him. His dongsaeng had already put his bag in the compartment over his head and was now sitting by the window of the fifth row, almost as if he was waiting for him. Although smiling was almost a natural reflex for Hyukjae, Yesung simply pretended not to see him, turning to leave his bag next to Siwon on the second row. 

He turned around one last time to look at Donghae, smiling gratefully before letting him walk past him. When Siwon stood up to help him lift his bag, Yesung couldn’t help but notice Hyukjae’s confused face out of the corner of his eye. 

Without turning to see him, however, he just waited until Siwon sat back down next to the window, and then plopped down next to him, letting out a long sigh.

“Everything okay, hyung?” Siwon asked now grabbing his forearm.

Yesung turn to look at him and smiled when he saw the sincerity with which his dongsaeng was asking. His gesture was enough to remind him that even if Hyukjae couldn’t stand him, it didn’t necessarily mean the others felt that way too. He still had them. And at least, that gave him a little peace of mind. _Thank you for worrying, Siwon-ah. Really._

  
\------------------------------------------------

Donghae just slowly walked over to his new seat with a smile. Without saying a word and under Hyukjae’s confused gaze, he put his carry on bag inside the compartment over their heads, and then plopped down on his seat.

“Boo!”, said Donghae as if his friend hadn’t seen him.

“What are you doing here?” Hyukjae tried to sound unbothered. “I thought you were sitting with Siwon.”

“I was, but Yesung hyung said you wanted to sit with me”, he lied. “You just couldn’t survive an hour without me, could you?”

Hyukjae didn’t know what to say. He had never said that to Yesung. On the contrary, he was hoping to actually use the little flight time they had to themselves so while the others listened to music or rested, he’d try to find out what was wrong. After this, however, at least Hyukjae didn’t have any doubts that Yesung was trying to avoid him. _But why?_

Still, he tried his best to hide his worries as he faked a smile. “Ugh, you wish”, he said.

He then pulled out his headphones and spent the rest of the flight staring out the window.

When they finally started to descend into Jeju’s airport, he noticed how the clouds started to get darker and although the plane was moving from the force of the wind outside, Hyukjae’s mind still remained focused on Yesung and the deafening music filling his eardrums.


	7. August 29th: Part II

It was barely past midday when they got to the hotel but everyone was already hungry. Thankfully they each got the key to their rooms so they could leave their stuff and then the production team asked them to head to one of the meeting rooms on the last floor for lunch.

The room wasn’t too big but it was open enough to have a private lunch or dinner for a group of people, and in this case, their team had booked it for something sort of similar. 

When Yesung walked through the door, he immediately noticed the already familiar board in the middle of the room. _Escape the restaurant?_ He thought recognizing the game. _Why do_ _they like to watch us suffer?_ He instinctively grabbed his abdomen, not knowing whether his stomach would be able to handle this again, but when he suddenly noticed Hyukjae already sitting at one of the tables, he felt a knot in his stomach that didn't have anything to do with food.

As if it wasn’t enough torture, the cameras were already rolling, getting the reaction from all the members as they walked in. So Yesung had to think fast, instantly putting a fake smile on his face as he walked towards the two tables.

“Ah, this again?” He pretended to laugh.

Heechul and Shindong were sitting at one table, while Hyukjae was sitting alone at the other one. Leeteuk, who was standing in front of the board, ready to be the MC, didn’t even give him time to think before smiling at him and signaling at him to seat next to Hyukjae.

“Ughhh…” Hyukjae whined. “Please tell me we’re rolling the dice later”, he said to Leeteuk, trying to avoid being teamed up with Yesung.

Normally Yesung would have hit him or stared at him menacingly, but although he’d decided to pretend everything was the same as ever, he wasn’t going to give Hyukjae the satisfaction of getting a reaction out of him.

“Remember how that went for you last time?” He said as he sat next to him.

The other three members laughed as the remembered the moment from the first season where, hoping to avoid being with Yesung, Hyukjae had rolled the dice praying to get anything but one. 

The moment he sat down, however, Yesung was suddenly surprised to feel his dongsaeng’s foot move right next to his.  _ Ugh, really? _ He thought, immediately moving his own foot away. But almost as if he was trying to prove something, Hyukjae was then fast to move his leg to place it right against his.  _ What are you doing, Hyukjae?  _ Yesung wondered, noticing the movement was obviously made with intent. Still, this time he didn’t move his leg away, staying overly conscious of the warmth he felt against it.

As the other members started to arrive, most of them noticed how the two of them were sitting unnecessarily close, but no one commented on it.

To Hyukjae’s supposed joy, however, once the game started and they rolled the dice, the two of them ended up on opposite teams. One was formed by Yesung, Siwon, Heechul and Kyuhyun, while the rest of them joined Hyukjae on the other one. So although he was partly happy to not have to fake camaraderie with Hyukjae, Yesung had to admit that when his dongsaeng had stood up to go sit at the other table, he had had to make an effort to ignore how cold his leg felt for the rest of the game. 

The game itself went relatively well, although the production team seemed to both enjoy and suffer their chaotic nature. It was only when Yesung couldn’t finish one of the last dishes that everyone went quiet, trying to hide their surprise when Hyukjae stood up from the opposite table and walked toward him.

“Don’t worry, hyung”, said Hyukjae, taking his plate. “I’ll finish it.”

His voice had been excessively sweet for the context, specially when it was clear that he didn’t have too much appetite left either.

“Help us finish our own dishes first!” Shindong yelled at him, making him laugh embarrassedly.

“I will, I will”, he said. “But look at him, hyung. Yesung hyung might die if he keeps going.”

“Then we’d win, you idiot!” Said Donghae with a mouthful of food.

Everyone howled with laughter but no one pressed any further. Yesung could only look at him, surprised as Hyukjae finished his plate of cold noodles, silently hoping the editors of the show wouldn’t notice his expression. Luckily for him - or unluckily, depending on how he saw it - he would then see that his face had not been highlighted, but the expression on the faces of the other members definitely had. But in any case, the sly looks among their friends would have been impossible to hide.

Once they had finished the game, they ended up having the rest of the afternoon off to rest. If it hadn’t been pouring outside, the members could have been enjoying the sun and the beach, but this time they were unfortunately stuck inside. And so some of them took a nap, others used the time to get some work done, while Yesung just spent his afternoon playing a basketball videogame on his laptop.

He really didn’t feel like being sociable that day, only getting out bed to make himself a cup of tea, one of those that hotels usually leave as a courtesy. After all, getting anything else delivered to his room would have involved getting up to open the door and he refused to do that.

In any case, when it was finally over half past seven, Yesung reluctantly closed his laptop but he knew he had to start getting ready. The production team had booked off the most private part of the hotel restaurant for dinner and since they were all supposed to meet downstairs at eight, he had to rush a little.

Yet, when he chose his outfit for the night, he couldn’t help but notice that his hat would have completed his look perfectly, and so the little peace he had gained during that afternoon went instantly flying out the window.  _ There’s no way I’m asking him to give it back _ , he thought with a huff.

While he was getting dressed, he kept murmuring furiously, cursing at all the mixed signs Hyukjae seemed to be giving him. “What on earth was he trying to do with his leg today?” He said under his breath. “Does he really think that kind of stuff will work on me? Pfff…”

Once he was ready, he closed the door of his room behind him and walked down the hallway toward the elevators, while still murmuring to himself. Yet, when he stepped onto the elevator and turned around to press the button, he suddenly saw the door of Hyukjae’s room opening in the distance. And as soon as his friend walked out wearing his hat, Yesung felt how his pent up anger started crumbling to pieces.

When their eyes met from afar, Hyukjae smiled at him, holding his gaze, but Yesung still pressed the button anyway. Still, as the door started to close before him, he could see how the expression on Hyukjae’s face turned to a disappointed one, and Yesung could only close his eyes. He suddenly felt pathetic. And so, on the way to the ground floor, he breathed in and out slowly, al least trying to avoid thinking about how his hat looked really good on Hyukjae.  _ You’re mad at him, you’re mad at him, remember that you’re mad at him. _

  
\------------------------------------------------

Hyukjae was just left standing there, watching as the elevator door closed in between him and Yesung, but he didn't move. He just stayed in silence in the empty hallway, watching as the numbers from the elevator went down, until the sudden sound of a door closing behind him brought his mind back to earth.

“Hey, Hyuk!” Siwon called out to him in his usual good mood. But when Hyukjae turned around, he couldn't help but feel instantly furious by his friend’s wide smile. “What are you doing out here alone?”

Hyukjae took a deep breath and held it before a second, before starting to walk toward him with a determined pace. “You…” He said, now visibly angry. “What do you know?”

“Huh?”

“You were talking to him the other day, and he wanted to sit with you today”, he said, pushing him not too hard but definitely with intention. “You know something, Choi Siwon. Spit it out.”

Siwon seemed to still be processing what was happening. “Are you talking about Yesung hyung?”

“Who else would I be talking about?!” Hyukjae burst out.

Before things could get any worse, Shindong luckily came running from the end of the hallway, grabbing him by the shoulders and pulling him back. “Woah, woah, woah”, he interrupted. “What’s going on here?”

Siwon wasn't one to get mad so easily but this time Hyukjae had really pushed it too far. If he hadn't asked like that, Siwon would have even considered telling him it was all a prank, but right now, he refused to give him any peace of mind.

“Instead of asking me, why don’t you try asking him instead?” He asked incredulously. Still, he didn't wait for answer, and without saying a word, he simply walked past him and headed for the elevator.

Hyukjae knew that Siwon already knew the answer to that question. Anyone who had known him long enough knew that he didn't really like talking about his feelings, so whenever he argued with someone, he generally just waited for the other person to chill down. But no matter how upset he was with this whole situation, there was only one person with whom he couldn't allow himself to be vulnerable and that was Yesung. And of course, Siwon knew that too. 

Hyukjae was breathing heavily as he watched Siwon walk away, but Shindong felt he had to insist. “Are you gonna tell me what’s wrong or not?”

It took Hyukjae a couple of seconds to reply but he eventually shook his head. “Nothing’s wrong…” He said before heading in the opposite direction as Siwon, heading for the stairs instead.

Shindong sighed, but didn't follow him. “You’re too stubborn sometimes, you know?!”

_ Of course I know,  _ he thought. _ That’s the problem. _


	8. August 29th: Part III

When Hyukjae got to the ground floor, most members were already there. Yesung was talking to Ryeowook and Leeteuk, while Siwon seemed to be ranting to Kyuhyun, who just had a concerned look on his face. Shindong, however, was waiting for him near the stairs since he had used the elevator.

“Hey…” The older one stopped him before he got any closer to the rest of the group. “You don’t have to tell me what’s going on but you need to calm down a little. You can’t be like that in front of the cameras.”

Hyukjae took a deep breath, letting the air out little by little, but he knew his hyung was right. “I know, I know”, he assured him. And so, while he continued to control his breathing, he put a hand on Shindong’s shoulder and smiled. “Thanks, hyung.”

Before they began filming, Shindong made sure that both Hyukjae and Siwon were calm enough to have dinner peacefully in front of the cameras. Yet, he was surprised to find they had both chilled down, and although they didn’t speak a word to each other during the whole meal, they were both very professional about it. Even though the rest of the group also noticed that something was off between those two, they all knew, even without being told, that they had to pretend that everything alright.

And so, the dinner was thankfully quite uneventful, and when the cameras stopped rolling, everyone clapped to congratulate the staff for their hard work, letting them free for the night.

As the members started to get up from the table, Yesung suddenly felt a hand on his forearm halting him in his place. When he turned around, however, he had to lower his eyes to find its owner, who still hadn’t moved from his place.

“Hyung”, said Hyukjae, staring straight at him without letting go of his arm. “Stay a little longer. Please.”

The intensity in his gaze made Yesung unable to look away, but although he couldn’t see his friends, he definitely heard the way in which the rest of the group suddenly stopped moving. While he and Hyukjae stared at each other, the other members were staring at them; some gaping at them in surprise, others simply confused, but none of them dared to say a word.

When Yesung finally nodded, agreeing to Hyukjae’s request, Siwon was the first one of the group to come back to his senses, and so he began to push Ryeowook and Heechul toward the door. After all, no matter how mad he was at Hyukjae, he knew those two needed privacy.

Donghae on the other side of the table started doing the same with the others, making them hurry. “Let’s go, c’mon”, he whispered.

It was only when the two of them were finally alone that Hyukjae let go of his arm. Yesung hadn’t sat back down yet, but just as he was about to, they were suddenly interrupted by two waitresses who came to clean up their table.

“Oh, sorry”, said one of them. “We thought there was no one left. We’ll come back later.”

Hyukjae smiled at them. “It’s alright. There’s just two of us. It makes no sense to have this whole table just for us”, he said nicely, before turning to Yesung. “Wanna go to the bar?”

But he didn’t wait for an answer before standing up and leading the way, so Yesung had no choice but to follow. Fortunately the hotel bar was just beside the restaurant, and being only two, they didn’t have to worry about drawing too much attention.

The place had dimmer lighting and a wonderful view toward the beach - or at least it would have been wonderful if there hadn’t been a downpour outside. Still, they chose a small table against the window in the furthest corner of the bar so they could have more privacy.

“It’s raining so hard”, said Hyukjae as he took a seat in front of him.

Yesung nodded without looking at him, focusing on the way droplets fell down on the other side of the window. “I like it.”

“I know. You’ve always liked the rain.” Hyukjae smiled timidly. His sweet tone made Yesung finally turn his attention back to him and look at him in the eye. But Hyukjae was not able to hold his silent gaze for too long, feeling the need to say something to break through his awkwardness. “Do you want a drink? It’s on me.”

“No, thanks”, Yesung said dryly. 

Hyukjae was not used to feeling that way, so small and vulnerable, and so, without really knowing what to do with his hands, he placed them under his thighs. “Maybe some tea”, he tried. “I know you usually ha--” 

“Hyukjae”, Yesung interrupted him, making his heart seemingly stop. “Get straight to the point, please. I’m tired and I wanna go to bed.”

The little fake smile on Hyukjae’s face suddenly disappeared. He fixed his eyes on the table as he seemed to find the right words or at least a place where to begin, but when by chance he tried to fix his hat, he seemed to get an idea. And so, he took it off. He grabbed it with both hands, turning it around to put the logo facing toward him and after looking at it for a few seconds, he eventually placed it on the table.

He wasn’t sure whether his idea would work or not but it was the only thing he had come up with so as to not feel so disarmed in front of Yesung. He lifted his eyes back up to look at the older, and without saying a word, he pushed the hat to the middle of the table. Yesung seemed confused, but he still reached his hand out slowly to grab it. But as soon as he placed his hand on it, Hyukjae quickly placed his own over his, not letting him escape.

“Tell me what’s wrong…” He said, holding his gaze. “And then I’ll give it back to you.”

Yesung just stared at him for a few seconds, not quite believing what he had just heard. Hyukjae wasn’t in a position to put any conditions but he also wasn’t surprised to see him try. When it came to apologizing, sometimes Hyukjae’s pride would get the best of him, but this time Yesung would not let it slide.

He smiled angrily, pulling his hand out forcefully from underneath Hyukjae’s. “Keep it”, he said as he got up. “I have too many of them anyway.”

“Hyung…” Hyukjae tried to stop him, but by then Yesung had already started to walk away.

Hyukjae just kept watching him, resigned, with his hand still over the hat. When Yesung walked out of sight, he dropped his down on the table, groaning in protest, without really minding if anyone was watching or not. _I’m an idiot, I’m an idiot_ , he told himself over and over again, hitting his forehead lightly against the cold surface. _You just had to ask him, Hyukjae. It was so simple. But of course you had to blow it._

  
  
\------------------------------------------------

Leeteuk was ready to go to bed. He had changed into his pajamas and was not lying in bed scrolling through instagram a little before turning the lights off, so he was startled when he suddenly heard someone knocking on his door.

“Coming”, he said loudly, as he got up. When he walked over to the door, he checked through peephole first, but he quickly opened the door when he saw a sad face on the other side. “What happened?” 

Standing defeatedly at his door, Hyukjae almost looked like a little boy who had just had a nightmare and was coming to seek comfort from his mother. “Can I come in, hyung?”

Leeteuk only nodded, opening the door further to let him in. He closed the door after him, and then followed Hyukjae until he plopped down at the edge of his bed. Meanwhile, Leeteuk just took a chair from the corner of the room and placed it in front of his dongsaeng.

By the way his friend was staring down at the hat in his hands, it was impossible not to know what this was all about, so when he sat down, he didn’t wait for Hyukjae to start. “Are you going to tell me what’s going on with you and Yesung-ah?”

Hyukjae’s eyes darted up, surprised. “You noticed it too?” 

“I think we all noticed it, Hyuk-ah. We’re not blind”, he said. “Now, do you want to tell me what happened?”

His friend sighed and let out a small sad laugh. “I’d love to tell you, hyung, but… I don’t know either. I really don’t know.”

“Did you ask him?”

Hyukjae nodded. “I just did.”

Leeteuk was not expecting that answer. After all, Hyukjae was not the kind of guy who faced conflict straightforwardly. _He must be really desperate_ , he thought. “And? What did he say?”

“That he didn’t want to tell me”, Hyukjae said almost outraged, but then even he started doubting his own answer. “Well… that’s basically what he meant to say.”

 _Ah, I knew something was off_ … _What did you do, Hyukjae?_ He wondered. “Basically?”

Hyukjae knew there was no point in lying to Leeteuk, so he just gave in. “Well, I didn’t ask _ask_ …”, he started to explain. “I more or less _told_ him to tell me what was wrong.”

“Or what?”

“How did you know there was an ‘or’?” His dongsaeng asked, surprised once again.

Jungsoo laughed before explaining. “I’ve known you for over fifteen years, Hyukjae, and I know that when you’re idiot, you are _really_ an idiot.”

Although Hyukjae gaped at him for a second, seemingly offended, he ended up laughing too, throwing the hat at him forcefully. Leeteuk managed to grab it before it hit him, throwing it back at him even harder. But when their laughter died down, the leader insisted. “So? What did you tell him?”

“I told him to tell me or…” Hyukjae suddenly tilted his head down, embarrassed, since there was no way to make it sound serious. Still, he confessed. “... or I wouldn’t give him his hat back.”

Hyukjae seemed to be waiting for Leeteuk to laugh or tell him he was an idiot again, but he got no reaction. Instead, Jungsoo simply stared at him for a few seconds, pressing his lips into a thin line, until he finally stood up and headed for the door. “Wait here for a sec”, he told him.

Hyukjae was very confused but he still stayed in his place, not knowing what to expect.

Leeteuk opened the door and walked across the hallway to knock on the opposite door. After a minute, the door opened slightly and Heechul’s head peaked out curiously. “Teukie? What’s wrong?” He asked as he saw the unusual face on the leader’s face. But Leeteuk didn’t reply. Instead, he just gave him a sign for him to follow, and Heechul, although clearly confused, didn’t hesitate to do so. 

His friend went back inside for a second to look for the key to his room, and then went after Leeteuk, closing both doors behind him. Once he walked into the room, however, he was surprised to find Hyukjae sitting on the bed with an equally confused face as his. “Hyukjae-ah?” He asked, but when he suddenly noticed the hat on his dongsaeng’s hands, he sighed. “This is about Yesung, isn’t it?”

Leeteuk, who was standing beside Hyukjae, simply pointed at their dongsaeng and looked at Heechul. “I can deal with the serious stuff. You can deal with this.”

“Hyung!” Hyukjae whined.

“He told Yesung to tell him what was wrong or else he wouldn’t give him his hat back”, Jungsoo explained, simply ignoring the younger’s complaint.

It took Heechul a couple of seconds to process what was happening, until he eventually burst out laughing. “Are you an idiot?” He said, cackling. “Go give it back to him and apologize!”

“But I don’t even know what I did!”

Heechul walked over and took the hat from his hands, just to hit him on the head with it. “Who cares?! Just apologize and you’ll find out sooner or later”, he said. He seemed to murmur a few unintelligible curses under his breath before giving it back. “Just… don’t make things worse.”

Hyukjae seemed to ponder about it as the eldest members of their group stared at him attentively. After a minute, however, Heechul seemed to get impatient and he just forced him to get up from the bed. “C’mon, let’s go”, he said. “Move, brat. Jungsoo has to rest. C’mon, c’mon.”

Leeteuk couldn’t help but smile, but he still took Hyukjae by the shoulder as if he tried to five him a little strength. “See you tomorrow”, he said to both of them as Heechul pushed Hyukjae out the door.

“Sleep well!” Heechul replied cheerfully before closing the door behind him.

And so, after locking the door, Leeteuk snuggled back into bed, stopping for a second before turning the light off to chuckle at the situation he had just witnessed. _You make things so simple sometimes, Kim Heechul_ , he thought. _You’re very useful too._

  
\------------------------------------------------

“Go to bed, Eunhyuk-ah”, said Heechul once they were in the hallway. “Just give it back to him tomorrow.”

“Mhmm… okay, hyung.” Hyukjae nodded. “Good night.”

“See ya”, said Heechul before heading back into his room.

When the door closed behind his friend, Hyukjae started to walk slowly toward his room. Yet, when he stopped at his door to look for the key, the door of the room next to his suddenly opened, and although the room belonged to Donghae, it wasn’t his face the one that walked out the door. 

Yesung seemed to get startled when he saw someone in the hallway, but his expression instantly changed into an annoyed look when he realized that that person was none other than Hyukjae.

The older didn’t even give him enough time to say something. He simply walked across the hallway and opened the door to his room. But before he went in, Hyukjae couldn’t help but notice the little tea bad Yesung had in his hand. 

_He must have asked Hae for his_ , he thought. Once his hyung slammed the door behind him, Hyukjae still smiled, a little hurt but choosing to look at the positive. _I knew you wanted some tea. Even if you didn’t want to have it with me._

\------------------------------------------------

Once he was done with his cup of tea, Yesung left his mug on the desk and closed his laptop. He stood up from the chair, put a few things back in their place, and then he was finally ready for bed. _It was a very long day_ , he thought. But almost as if the universe wanted to tell him that his day was not yet over, he suddenly saw his phone light up from across the room, as it was charging beside his bed.

Even before seeing the notification, however, he knew the name that would show up on the screen.  
  


Hyukjae 

Hyung, open the door

I won’t be there

I promise

He really didn’t want to play along. But curiosity would have eaten him alive if he hadn’t.

He walked over to the door, taking a peek through the hole on the door to make sure Hyukjae was in fact not standing on the other side, and then opened it slightly. _There’s no one here…_ He thought, confused. But when he looked down, he suddenly saw his hat placed neatly on the floor with a folded piece of paper on top.

Yesung took both and closed the door quickly, just in case Hyukjae suddenly decided to pop up from somewhere. He walked back toward the desk, leaving the hat there before opening the note that came with it.

« _It’s yours. It looks better on you anyway»_ , it read.

Yesung would never admit that it made him smile, but to his surprise, there were a couple of extra words written at the bottom of the note that meant even more to him.

« _I’m sorry.»_

Those words were smaller than the others, and seemed lighter, as if they had been written more hesitantly. _I guess there’s a first time for everything_ , he chuckled, the thought making his chest feel a little warmer. 

He carefully folded the note back up and left it next to the hat on the desk before getting back into bed. Once he was under the covers, he hesitated for a second when he reached his hand out to turn off the light, but he ended up choosing to grab his phone instead.

Hyukjae 

Thank you

It was nothing

See you tomorrow, I guess

Yeah

Sleep well, Hyukjae

You too, hyung

With that, Yesung put the phone back on the nightstand and turned off the lamp, but as he plopped his head back on the pillow, he refused to acknowledge the little smile tugging at the corner of his lips.


	9. August 30th: Part I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope I managed to make the group chat part work :)

**August 30th**

When they had started planning the trip, they’d had the idea to have a photo session with the incredible scenery of Jeju Island, which combined with the rainbow their colorful suits would form, would result in cheerful and fun pictures. As they looked out the window that morning, however, it was obvious that the weather would not let them follow through with that exact concept.

Since it at least wasn’t raining, they’d decided to hold the photoshoot anyway, since the production team had come prepared for the possibility of having gray skies. For this plan B, the suits would remain the same, but by adding matching colorful umbrellas and balloons, they’d have enough contrast against what would be an essentially black and white background. 

To get to the location, they’d agreed to meet up downstairs at ten, so as Siwon looked at his watch, he saw he still had half an hour before he had to go down. Still, since he had stayed up late working on his laptop, he wanted to get some coffee to wake up properly. And so, he grabbed the key to his room, checked himself out one last time in the mirror, and walked out into the hallway.

Practically at the same time, another door opened up only a few feet away, and Hyukjae’s figure walked out from it. His friend was not wearing makeup, and he could tell he hadn’t put too much thought in picking out his clothes, since he’d be changing up again later. Since he seemed ready but there was still a while left until they had to go down, Siwon assumed he was doing the same thing he always did whenever Hyukjae got bored: seeking for someone to annoy. _Probably Donghae_ , he thought. 

But now that he’d found Siwon first, he knew Hyukjae wouldn’t ignore him. They’d would have to talk about what happened the night before, and Siwon wasn’t particularly thrilled about it. _It’s too early for this,_ he whined to himself.

“Hey…” Hyukjae said from afar, after closing his door. His voice didn’t sound precisely natural but anyone who knew him would have been able to tell that he was trying to pretend like nothing had happened.

Siwon closed the door to his room, simply staring at him for a few seconds before replying. “Hi.”

“Are you heading downstairs already? There’s still half an hour left.”

Siwon took a few steps toward him. “I know, but I wanted to get some coffee before we left.”

“I’ll go with you”, said Hyukjae, now pointing toward the elevator with his hand. 

Siwon squinted his eyes at him accusingly. “You don’t drink coffee.”

Hyukjae took a moment to reply, since he knew his friend was right. Although he had started liking it a bit better lately, he still preferred to avoid it unless he was incredibly tired. But in special cases, he guessed he could make an exception.

“Unless it’s really necessary”, he said at last.

“And is it really necessary this time?”

Siwon was putting him on the spot on purpose and Hyukjae knew that, so there was no point in beating around the bush. A bit embarrassed, Hyukjae shifted his weight from one foot to another, trying his best not to sound whiny but failing. “Don’t make it so difficult.”

Siwon laughed incredulously, and just walked past him toward the elevator. “I think it’s pretty easy, Hyukie”, he said. “It’s just two words.”

Once Siwon couldn’t see him anymore, Hyukjae rolled his eyes exasperatedly, but he eventually gave up.

“Ugh, okay…”, he admitted, now following the other man down the hallway. Siwon simply pressed the button and waited for him to continue without looking at him. “I messed up, okay? I was just angry and you showed up at the wrong time.”

“Well, let me know when the next right time is for me to show up.”

At that moment, the door of the elevator opened and Siwon walked in immediately, although Hyukjae didn’t hesitate to do the same. He was going with him to get that damned coffee whether Siwon wanted it or not.

“Oh, c’mon… You know what I mean”, he insisted as the door closed behind them. “It wasn’t personal. Really.”

“Oh no, I think it was very personal. Your anger had a first and last name, but it just wasn’t mine”, said Siwon, now staring straight at him. When Hyukjae only gaped at him and turned his face away, Siwon chuckled, knowing he was right.

The door opened at the ground floor and Hyukjae was the first one to get out, almost as if he wanted to escape. Still, he stopped just a few steps ahead to wait for Siwon, who before following behind, couldn’t help but smile at his friend’s sudden shyness.

As they walked toward the café, Siwon tried to analyze his friend’s expression without him noticing. Although his face was still serious, at least the frown that had been there the night before was now gone, but that wasn’t the only thing that caught his eye. _There’s something different about you, Hyukie_ , he thought.

On one hand, his friend seemed to be the same Hyukjae he ever was. The same proud kid who hated to apologize but who, being equally as stubborn, would probably follow him along for the rest of the day if Siwon didn’t forgive him. On the other hand, however, it was impossible not to notice how transparent his emotions had become. Siwon didn’t know whether his friend didn’t want or simply couldn’t hide the way he felt, but in any case, merely taking a glimpse at his face was enough to know that Yesung had really affected him. And if Siwon had actually pointed it out loud, Hyukjae wouldn’t have been able to deny it either.

And so Siwon sighed, finally deciding to give in. He knew he wouldn’t be getting a better apology and since Hyukjae already had enough on his plate with his whole issue with Yesung, he figured it’d just be better to let him get away with it this time.

“You seem calmer today”, he said eventually.

Hyukjae smiled timidly but he didn’t seem convinced. “I don’t know if I’d say that.”

“But you’re definitely in a better mood than yesterday. I guess your chat with Yesung hyung went alright?”

Hyukjae let out a long sigh as he tried to find a way to explain it, but even after a few second, he didn’t seem to find it. “It’s complicated”, he said with a shrug.

However, Hyukjae suddenly stopped in his tracks, making Siwon bump against his shoulder, but before he could even ask why he’d stopped, Siwon looked up to find the answer.

Although he was obviously trying to go unnoticed, the overly-large white t-shirt and the bleached hair that contrasted the black hat gave Yesung away anyway. When he recognized the familiar figure beside the counter, Siwon looked back at Hyukjae expecting to find a troubled look, but he found quite the opposite. 

His friend’s face had lit up with a warm, genuine smile, which made no sense to Siwon. He couldn’t understand how the sad face from the previous night had transformed into that smiling expression, but he didn’t exactly mind _how_ . The important thing was the reason behind that smile, the _why_ , and Siwon would have been lying if he said he hadn’t suspected the reason a few times throughout the years. 

_Complicated?_ He thought, chuckling to himself. _I think it’s quite simple._

Just like that, Siwon grabbed Hyukjae by the shoulder, making him focus again, and although he didn’t say anything, he quietly started pushing him toward the counter.

\------------------------------------------------

Yesung carefully took the two cups of iced coffee he’d ordered, nicely thanking the girl from the café. All of a sudden, however, the voice of one of his dongsaengs behind him made him turn around.

“Hyung!” Siwon greeted him cheerfully.

Yesung’s hat was so low that he had to tilt his head up to look at him properly, not expecting to see that Siwon was not alone.

Hyukjae first looked at the hat he’d returned the night before, and then at him, trying to hide his smile. When Yesung had put it on before leaving his room, he hadn’t considered the fact that he could run into Hyukjae. He hadn’t thought too much about whether he should wear it or not, or whether doing so would give him a sign that he had forgave him, but as as he now saw the warm look on Hyukjae’s face, he was glad he did.

“ _Yo_ …”, he said with a half smile.

Siwon gave him a side hug, careful not to bump the cups he was holding. “Two cups?” He said. “Don’t you think that’s too much, hyung?”

“The other one is for Donghae”, he chuckled. Yet he suddenly turned to Hyukjae, extending one of the cups toward him. “Can you give it to him?”

Hyukjae blinked for a long second, but he finally grabbed the cup with both hands. “Sure…”

When Hyukjae’s fingers covered his own, Yesung tried to ignore the way his heart skipped a beat before removing his hand slowly.

“There’s still a bit of time left”, said Siwon. “Aren’t you going back up?”

Yesung shook his head. “I wanted to take some pictures outside before it starts raining again.”

And just as he expected, Hyukjae immediately opened his mouth to say something. _I know, you want to come_ , he thought, but he interrupted him before the younger could actually say it.

“Thanks for giving it to him”, he said, pointing at the cup now in Hyukjae’s hand. _Why do you think I gave it to you?,_ he thought, raising an eyebrow. “I’ll see you guys in a little bit.” 

Just like that, Yesung smiled at the dumbfounded expression on Hyukjae’s face and then walked away. Although he didn’t turn around, he didn’t need to look at him to know that his dongsaeng’s eyes were glued to his back. And this time, he had to admit he didn’t dislike the feeling. 

It was slightly over ten, and almost all the members were already sitting at the van that would take them to the location for the photoshoot. They were just waiting for Heechul and Donghae, who had gone to look for him.

"Hi, hello", Heechul said as he walked into the van behind Donghae. "Sorry, I overslept."

While everyone started whining just to annoy Heechul, Donghae sat beside Yesung on one of the front rows with his iced coffee, forcing his hyung to sit at the back beside Leeteuk. So as he headed toward his seat, Heechul couldn’t help but notice that Yesung was wearing the familiar hat from the night before and smiled. When Yesung looked at him, he didn’t miss his chance to give him a complicit look, but that only seemed to leave the other man confused.

Yet, when everyone took their seats and the van started moving at last, Yesung didn’t have to wait long before the explanation arrived as a buzz inside his pocket.

Team Tom

**Heechul**

Nice hat, Yesung~~

I see he returned it first thing in the morning

I can’t believe he did something right for once

**Kyuhyun**

I think I missed something again...

**Siwon**

Me too

He actually gave it back last night

But… how did you know about that?

**Heechul**

Basically he told Teukie and Teukie told me

But... last night?!

Man, that boy must have been desperate if he couldn’t wait til the morning

**Donghae**

I don’t even understand what’s happening but I told you guys this would work ;)

**Kyuhyun**

I’m not following either

And I’m not hangover this time

Well I don’t have to tell you guys everything that happens in my life

Is nothing private to you?

**Donghae**

Nope :)

**Siwon**

Hyung, aren’t we Super Junior?~

**Kyuhyun**

You know you want to tell us

**Heechul**

I’m sure it’s even in your contract

You should read what you sign, Yesung-ah

I’ll take that into account for when I finally get rid of you idiots

But fine

**Donghae**

:) :) :) :)

  
  


And so Yesung procedeed to explain the whole story - well, at least almost all of it. He told them about how he’d left his hat at the practice room the other day and how Hyukjae had brought it to give it back. He’d even managed to divert the conversation when Kyuhyun had asked why he hadn’t given it back when Yesung went back for it. After all, he wasn’t planning to tell them about the conversation he had eavesdropped on. But when he told them about how Hyukjae had tried to use the hat to extort the truth out of him, at least his friends were definitely on his side.

Team Tom 

So I just told him to keep it

I wasn’t going to play his game

**Kyuhyun**

Is Hyukjae really that stupid or does he just like to pretend?

**Donghae**

He is, trust me

**Siwon**

Definitely

But you said he gave it back, right?

Did he apologize?

Sort of, yeah…

At least he said he was sorry in the note

**Heechul**

What note?

The one that came with the hat…?

**Heechul**

………………

How did he give it back to you exactly?

He left it at my door

I thought you said you told him to do that

**Heechul**

Asadsdjsfjdsd

I did tell him to give it back

I didn’t think I’d have to clarify that I meant IN PERSON

I’m gonna punch him

**Donghae**

Can I help?

**Kyuhyun**

I’m in too

It’s fine, really haha

You don’t have to do that

**Heechul**

What do you mean?!

That boy needs to learn to apologize

Specially to you

That was the point of all this

I just think it was better that way

If he had tried to give it to me in person,

I don’t know if I would have opened the door

The note was okay

**Kyuhyun**

So just a romantic note was enough for you?

I’ll write you one next time you’re mad at me, hyung

I never said it was enough…

**Donghae**

But you don’t deny that it was romantic~

**Kyuhyun**

Didn’t you see the way they were looking at each other last night?

Of course it was romantic

**Heechul**

I’ve been telling you guys for years but no one listens to me

**Siwon**

I’m happy for you, hyung :)

See why I don’t tell you guys anything?

You’re all insufferable

**Donghae**

♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡

**Kyuhyun**

♥😘♥😘♥😘 

**Heechul**

Just get a room and be done with it already

Donghae tried to hold in a cackle, but Yesung slapped his arm anyway. In the same movement, however, he managed to snatch the now empty cup from his friend’s hand before standing up from his seat. He turned around violently and forcefully threw the cup at Heechul two rows behind him.

While the members who understood the reason for the aggression couldn’t stop laughing, the rest of them stared at the scene as if their members had finally lost their minds. Yet, before seating back down, Yesung found Hyukjae’s gaze for a second, staring at him from the other side of the van, making him turn a dark shade of red. Embarrassed, he just hid his face and sat back down, letting his friends answer the questions from the others.

“I hate you guys”, he whispered to Donghae, who despite not being able to stop laughing, hugged him anyway.


	10. August 30th: Part II

The photoshoot was taking place at the top of a small cliff from where one could see the green vegetation of the island as well as the infinite extension of blue of the sea. It was an incredible view that could have only been better if the sun had actually decided to come out.

At least, however, the wind wasn’t too strong which allowed the production team to set up a couple of white tents where the members could get changed and get their makeup done. Still, the air felt heavy, and rather than an improvement on the weather, it felt more like the calm before the storm.

Hyukjae had already gotten changed. He’d put on his yellow suit with a white shirt and golden pin, and having already been through the makeup station, he only had to get his hair done before being ready. The rest of the members were also mostly done, although each of them was at a different stage of the process.

When the girl who was giving the final touches to his hair finally told him he was ready, Hyukjae stood up from his chair and turned around, noticing the absence of a particular face.  _ Red, orange, green, blue…  _ Hyukjae counted as he searched for Yesung’s color.

“Those who are ready, please start heading out so we can start with some individual pictures”, the photographer’s assistant voice suddenly interrupted his thoughts.

So following the instructions, he stepped out along Donghae and Ryeowook. Outside, Siwon was already being photographed with his light blue suit and umbrella while Kyuhyun, in purple, was waiting for his turn by the side. All of a sudden, however, he noticed something pink by the corner of his eye, and before he could confirm what it was, Donghae gave him the answer.

“‘ _ Cause you’re my pink magic… _ ” Donghae started to sing as he approached Yesung. And as soon as Hyukjae saw him, the song started to fill up his mind as well.

The older was crouched down a few meters away from the tent, almost by the edge of the small cliff, taking pictures as usual.

He stood up and laughed when he heard the song. “My hair is not pink anymore so it had to be the suit.”

Hyukjae started walking toward him, but he stopped half way, as something he could only describe as a mix of admiration, awe and panic suddenly froze him in place.

The image of Yesung in his dark pink suit contrasted against the colors of nature around him, and Hyukjae’s eyes looked him up and down taking in every detail - the tailored suit, the white shit and the untied wine colored lace around his neck. The breeze was blowing the hair out of his face, clearing his forehead, and as he spoke, his face showed such a perfect smile that Hyukjae was sure he would never forget it. And it was precisely that thought that made him panic. 

For Hyukjae, his usual mechanism to deal with any type of uncomfortable thought or feeling had always been to joke around or mess with people, specially with Yesung. After all, it wasn’t a coincidence that Yesung happened to be the one person he annoyed the most. Despite not wanting to fully admit it to himself, it wasn’t the first time he was completely mesmerized by the older. Sometimes as he stood by his side, Hyukjae would simply stare at him for a bit, until he could no longer deal with his own tension, and decided to do something to make him lose his temper. So at least if he managed to change his smile for a frown, it should be easier for him to stop staring.

Yet, at that moment, the situation between wasn’t comfortable enough to use that strategy, which only left him with one option: facing how he actually felt. But it was too much for him.

Suddenly his throat closed off and his mouth was dry. The palms of his hands started sweating and as he watched Donghae speak to Yesung, Hyukjae tried to walk further away discreetly, as he dried off his hands on his pants.

_ What’s wrong with me? _ , he thought a little freaked out. It almost felt as if he was somehow breaking a promise with himself - the promise that he would take every inappropriate feeling and push it to the darkest pit within himself with the hope that if he ignored them for long enough, they would eventually fade away. But there he was, years after the first time he’d felt those feelings, standing as he watched the man who, despite all the pranks and teasing Hyukjae had put him through, had never stopped smiling at him. Or at least he had never stopped until a few days earlier.  _ Maybe that’s why it’s different this time _ , he wondered, and then, with his eyes fixed on Yesung’s bright smile, he pleaded to him silently:  _ Don’t ever stop smiling. _

“Who’s next?” The photographer suddenly asked around loudly.

Both Donghae and Yesung turned around to look in his direction, but Hyukjae didn’t take his eyes off Yesung. And so the older’s gaze met his, and Hyukjae could see how the bright smile he’d been using with Donghae, started disappearing little by little. But unlike the previous days, at least his eyes didn’t feel cold and lifeless, but uncertain, almost as if they were debating something. And Hyukjae was determined to find out what it was.

“I’m coming”, Hyukjae replied to the photographer without turning around.

When he did, however, he felt stupid for wondering whether now that he wasn’t looking, Yesung would smile again. Yet instead of turning around to check, he just kept walking, grabbing the yellow umbrella that belonged to him, and only hoped that that had been the case.

_ Please smile for me again. _

  
  


At the start of the group photoshoot, the members had stood up following the color scale, making Hyukjae, in yellow, end up in the middle, while Yesung with his pink suit had his spot at one of the sides, just beside Kyuhyun’s purple.

They had just taken a few pictures without the umbrellas and now the photographer stopped to ask two of the production assistants to hand them out. As each of them got their own, Yesung, who had already opened his, laughed as he watched Kyuhyun pretend to use his as a katana. Without even realizing it, Hyukjae had turned to look at him and was now smiling along. But even when the maknae stopped playing around, Hyukjae’s eyes did not turn back toward the lens.

“Eunhyuk-ssi”, the photographer tried to get his attention. When Hyukjae didn’t seem to listen the first time, he tried again. “Eunhyuk-ssi?”

But he couldn’t snap him out of his trance. It was only when Ryeowook, standing next to him in green, touched his arm and pointed at the photographer that Hyukjae noticed they were calling his name. “Yeah?” He asked embarrassedly.

“Ready?”

Hyukjae only nodded and opened his umbrella like the others already had.  _ Stop making a fool of yourself, c’mon _ , he told himself. So, once everyone was in the right position, the photographer took two or three more pictures before starting a countdown.

“Three…” He began loud enough for everyone on set to hear.

_ Focus, Hyukjae. _

“Two…”

_ Just focus. _

“One…”

_ It’s not that hard. _

And at that moment, the assistants released a sea of colorful balloons.

The way the shoot had been planned out, the pictures would make it seem as if the balloons were raining down on them, so most members were looking up, smiling or in awe, as they pretended to see them fall. Or at least, all members but one.

If that instant had only been captured in photographs, maybe no one apart from the photographer would have had any evidence of it ever happening. But the cameras for SJ Returns had never stopped filming. Eventually, the world would be able to see how instead of pointing his eyes toward the colored rain above his head, Hyukjae was distracted by a smile with a pink aura on the side.

And at that moment, Hyukjae seemed to have all the time in the world compressed down into those few seconds. Normally the sole idea of facing his feelings would have paralyzed him in fear, but somehow, as he looked at Yesung’s smiling face he realized something had changed. Maybe in him, maybe in both of them, but in any case, the idea didn’t seem so daunting anymore.

_ Ready? _ He thought, remembering the question the photographer has asked. But he still hesitated.  _ I don’t know. _

After the shoot, Hyukjae decided to take his makeup off first, looking at himself in one of the small mirrors they were able to set up in the tent. He was doing it slowly and carefully, trying to think of anything but the storm of emotions that was raging inside him. Yet, his attempt at distraction failed quite quickly.

His hand holding the makeup wipe stopped as soon as he saw Yesung’s silhouette in the reflection, with his back toward him as he started to change out of his clothes.  _ Stop already _ , he thought, closing his eyes, without knowing exactly whether he was talking to Yesung or himself.

Once he finished removing his makeup forcefully, Hyukjae stood straight up again, and avoiding lifting up his gaze, he turned around to go see for his stuff at the other side of the tent. But he didn’t get very far.

It happened too quickly and no one really ended up understanding how, but by wanting to swerve around one of the folding chairs in his path, Hyukjae’s pants got hooked on a little protruding metal corner, and as he focused on the sudden pressure on his leg, he didn’t notice that Yesung had taken a few steps back.

As he had his head low, Hyukjae ran straight against Yesung’s back. The bump would have definitely been strong enough to leave a bruise on the older’s shoulder blade, but not enough to make him fall to the floor if he hadn’t tripped over the foot of the chair as he fell back.

So before he could do anything to prevent the fall, Hyukjae was already in pain on the floor, and right beside him, the face he’d been trying to avoid.

“Are you okay?” Yesung asked now by his side. “You’re bleeding.”

The sudden proximity of the older’s face made it difficult for Hyukjae to focus on his words, but then the feeling of Yesung’s hand on his leg was impossible to ignore. It was only when he looked down that he started to feel any pain at all. The metal corner had ripped the pants of his suit and made a horizontal cut on his right thigh. With a hand over Hyukjae’s knee, Yesung’s other hand was carefully moving the ragged threads of the fabric so that they wouldn’t stick to the wound. 

The tent was suddenly filled with voices and laughter, but Hyukjae never noticed. The softness of Yesung’s fingers against his skin, clearing the area of the cut, made everything but him disappear.

“It’s okay…” He managed to say with half a voice. “It doesn’t hurt that bad.”

Yesung didn’t seem too happy with his answer but he offered him his hand to help him stand up anyway. Hyukjae grabbed it, pushing himself up with the other arm, but as soon as he tried to put his weight on his left foot, he hissed in pain.

“What? What’s wrong?” Yesung asked, as he helped Hyukjae sit back down slowly.

“My ankle… I think I twisted it.”

The older gave him a worried look as Hyukjae put pressure on his ankle to see how much it hurt. “Do you think you can stand up?”

Hyukjae nodded. “Yeah, I think so…”

Yesung now stood right in front of him and before Hyukjae could tell, he was already grabbing him by both hands. Just like that, Hyukjae put all his weight on his other foot and with Yesung’s help, he took impulse to get up. Too much impulse.

In a fraction of a second, Hyukjae was already standing up in front of Yesung, still holding on to his hands and with his face mere inches away from his. For a moment Hyukjae thanked the heavens for the fact that Yesung had managed to put on a shirt again, since otherwise his now burning cheeks would have probably burst into flames.

He was surprised, however, when Yesung didn’t avoid his gaze. The eyes of the older seemed to be searching for something in his own, making Hyukjae forget how to breathe. And suddenly, any pain he could be feeling was now sent far to the back of his mind.

_ Ready?  _ The same question echoed back into his head. But this time his answer was different.  _ Maybe _ , he thought.

“It was my fault. I’m sorry”, Yesung said in a whisper.

Hyukjae shook his head slightly. “I was stupid”, he said, giving him a half smiling so that the older wouldn’t worry. But Hyukjae wasn’t sure if they were talking about the same thing. 

However, a wave of voices and hands suddenly reminded them that there was in fact a world beyond the two of them.

“Are you okay?” One of the managers interrupted.

Kyuhyun had also approached them to check on him, but they only just noticed his presence. “Is it your ankle?”

“Yeah...” He replied without really understanding what was happening yet. “But I’m sure it’s nothing serious.”

Without Hyukjae having any say at all, Kyuhyun grabbed him from the side and being guided by the manager, they started dragging him to the other side of the tent. As they dragged him away, however, Hyukjae turned around one last time to look at Yesung, who was still looking at him with an expression that could only be one of guilt.

_ Don’t worry _ , he told him on the inside. But without really knowing for sure what Yesung was feeling guilty for, he was definitely sure of one thing.  _ I really was stupid. _


	11. August 30th: Part III

When they got back to the hotel, the production team immediately escorted Hyukjae back to his room where he’d wait for a doctor to come check on him. Hyukjae wouldn’t stop saying that it wasn’t necessary but both the company and the members had insisted. Some of them had even wanted to keep him company while he waited but Hyukjae insisted that the rest of them should have lunch and continue filming as usual.

So, while the members were now eating at the hotel restaurant, Yesung sat by the end of the table quietly, his food untouched in front of him as he kept replaying the incident in his mind.

Back in the tent, Yesung had seen Hyukjae in the reflection of the mirror, stopping for a second to stare at the younger while he carefully wiped off his makeup. _I don’t know what to do with you anymore, Hyukjae-ah_ , he’d thought then. But he’d decided to look away. It wouldn’t have been the first time Hyukjae had caught him staring at his reflection, but he’d decided to spare himself the embarrassment. So he’d turned around and started to change out of his clothes with his back toward him.

 _See?_ He told himself. _This happened because you’re a coward_. Without really caring whether the injury was serious or not, Yesung couldn’t help but blame himself anyway. He couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that maybe if he hadn’t turned around, Hyukjae wouldn’t have bumped into him and gotten hurt.

All of a sudden, not being able to focus on anything else, Yesung simply stood up from his seat and, without saying a word to the others, started heading toward the counter.

“Hyung!” Donghae called after him, making him turn around. “Where are you going?”

“Hyukjae must be hungry”, he explained. “I was gonna take him something.”

Heechul chuckled beside Donghae. “Didn’t I tell you guys? He’s too so--”

But Donghae covered his mouth before he could finish the sentence. “We can grab something for him later”, he said as he struggled to keep ahold of Heechul. “Why don’t you finish eating first?”

“It’s alright”, said Yesung. “I’m not hungry.”

And without waiting for an answer, he walked away. As he asked someone from the restaurant for some food to go, Donghae hit Heechul and, among so many whispered questions from the other members, Leeteuk tried to restore order. In other circumstances, one of them would have followed Yesung, but something told them it was better to let him go alone.

Fifteen minutes later, Yesung was already going up toward their floor with a paper bag in his hand. When the elevator door opened, he noticed the door of Hyukjae’s room was open and one of the managers was standing in the hallway seemingly waiting. As we walked closer, the doctor walked out the door, carrying a briefcase in his hand and the manager followed behind him. They both smiled at him as they passed by him but they just walked ahead toward the elevator. _I guess they’re done_ , he thought once he got to Hyukjae’s door.

“Anything else you need?” Yesung heard a voice say from the inside. 

“I’m okay, thank you. Right now, I’m just…” Hyukjae had started to say, but he stopped mid sentence when he saw Yesung walking in.

Hyukjae was sitting in a big sofa by the window, right on the opposite side of the room. The torn pair of yellow pants with a few tiny blood spots was now hanging on the back of a chair next to him, and evidently, Hyukjae, still in his underwear, hadn’t had time to put on another one. So as he walked into the room, the first thing Yesung saw were his dongsaeng’s naked legs stretched onto a foot rest, as well as a small bandage on his thigh that was now covering the wound.

In other circumstances, maybe the image would have elicited a different reaction from him, but at that moment, it only made him feel worse. Still, he forced himself to smile halfheartedly, and raising the paper bag with the food, he asked: “Hungry?”

Hyukjae nodded, beaming such a wide, warm smile that Yesung felt his heart tighten inside his chest. “Very much”, said the younger.

“I figured”, he said walking over toward him.

Hyukjae’s eyes remained glued to him even as Yesung greeted the manager, following his movements until the older placed the bag on the small coffee table next to him. However, he had barely been able to put it down before Hyukjae was already bringing it toward himself to check the content.

“It’s a burger”, said Yesung. “I hope I picked well.”

But Hyukjae was already grabbing a few french fries that came as a side, and simply answered by nodding happily as he chewed.

“I see you’re in good hands”, said the manager to Hyukjae, although he no longer had his attention. “I’ll come back for you later, but let me know if you guys need anything else.”

Yesung chuckled when Hyukjae only kept ruffling through the bag, so he decided to reply instead. “We’ll be alright. Thank you.”

With that, the manager excused himself and left them alone, closing the door behind him.

“Thanks, hyung”, said Hyukjae, still chewing.

 _You really are hopeless_ , thought Yesung, smiling at his lack of finesse. “It’s nothing. Are you feeling better?”

Hyukjae nodded as he scooted over a little to make room for Yesung on the couch. Although the older had had the intention of sitting on the chair to face him properly, he figured that being close to him wasn’t going to kill him anyway.

“They gave me something for the pain”, Hyukjae explained while Yesung took a seat next to him. “So I can barely feel it now.”

Yesung’s eyes looked over to Hyukjae’s feet, noticing how his left foot was still clearly bigger than the right one. “It’s still swollen.”

“It should be okay in a few days. It’s nothing serious.”

 _That doesn’t make me feel better_ , thought Yesung, letting out a long sigh. “It’s my fault. I’m sorry.”

“I already told you it wasn’t, hyung!” Hyukjae whined, softly pushing his shoulder. “I should have payed attention to where I was going.”

“But...”

“No but”, Hyukjae interrupted. “I got the cut before I even bumped into you. How could that be your fault?”

For once, Yesung almost found Hyukjae’s insistence cute so he couldn’t help but let out a small laugh. _You’re always so stubborn._

Yet his reaction seemed to surprise Hyukjae, who smiled beamingly after hearing his laughter.

Trying to avoid his gaze, Yesung turned his eyes to the leg beside him. Without really thinking, he reached out his hand and with a single finger, he began to slowly trace the edge of the bandage. Although Hyukjae could see that the older was doing it unconsciously, the feeling left him completely breathless anyway. It was only when Yesung took his hand away, stopping almost as unconsciously as he had started, that Hyukjae could finally breathe again.

“You gotta be more careful…” He said. With half a smile, his eyes looked straight at Hyukjae’s and for a minute, he allowed himself to be his regular self. “...idiot.”

Only in their strange relationship could an insult bring out the smile that appeared on Hyukjae’s face at that moment. “I’ll try”, he said. But feeling more exposed than ever, he decided to get dressed again. “Can you bring me my pants?”

Weirdly, it was as if that question made Yesung suddenly realize what he had just done. Trying to avoid looking at Hyukjae’s legs, he turned around immediately and grabbed the yellow pants that hung over the chair. He was even about to hand them to Hyukjae when he noticed the rip in the fabric. He looked up at the younger, who had seemed to notice his sudden awkwardness, and before Yesung got to ask anything, he said: “I meant the ones on the desk.”

The pants Hyukjae had worn that morning were neatly folded on the desk across the room, so Yesung stood up to fetch them.

"Thanks," said Hyukjae when he handed them to him.

He put them on carefully while Yesung stayed standing beside him just in case he needed help. When Hyukjae had already put on both legs, he stood up quickly and, balancing himself on his one good foot, he managed to pull them all the way up.

Just like that, he sat back down and started taking out the food that Yesung had brought him, putting it on the table before flashing a quick smile to the older. And now seeing that happy face, Yesung felt that for the moment his job there was done.

"See you later then, I guess," he said.

Hyukjae seemed surprised. "You're leaving?"

"Yeah…" Yesung tried to sound convinced but failed. "I'll let you eat in peace."

"C'mon, hyung," Hyukjae whined pointing at the place next to him on the couch. "I don't want to eat alone. Stay."

Yesung sighed, considering the idea for a second, but eventually shook his head with a small smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "I'm sure the others will be here any minute," he said. "Don't worry."

So thinking for a moment that he'd managed to have the last word, Yesung turned around to head toward the door, but he didn't even get to take two steps before Hyukjae's voice made him stop in his tracks.

"Hyung," he heard him say behind him.

Although a part of him wanted to run out of there, his more rational side knew he wouldn't be able to avoid him forever. Yet, without even looking at him, Yesung could already notice the change in his tone, which made his heart start beating faster. When he turned around, however, Hyukjae's face was serious, not precisely sad or upset, but it showed a look of resignation instead.

"You don't have to tell me why you're mad at me if you don't want to," he said. "Just don't avoid me. Please."

"We work together, Eunhyuk-ah," said Yesung, trying to sound cold. "I wouldn't be able to avoid you even if I tried."

"You know what I mean."

Judging by the determined look in his dongsaeng’s eyes, Yesung knew he didn’t have much choice but to be honest. _You’re not gonna let this go, are you?_ So in the end, he just sighed, shrugging his shoulders slightly.

“I’m just trying to give you your space”, he told him truthfully. “I thought that was what you wanted.”

“What?” Hyukjae blinked a few times, trying to process what Yesung had just said, but soon his face had changed into one somewhere between confusion and annoyance. “I don’t know where you got that from, hyung, but you couldn’t be more wrong.”

“Stop, Hyukjae-ah,” Yesung begged, now visibly angry. _I heard you myself. Don’t treat me as if I’m crazy_ , he wanted to tell him, but not wanting to admit he had been eavesdropping, he decided to keep it to himself. “You don’t have to lie to make me feel better.”

“Does it really look like I’m lying?!” He yelled out.

No matter how upset Yesung was, Hyukjae’s scream still left him speechless. His dongsaeng was breathing heavily, in the way he usually did when he was trying to hold back tears. And Yesung could only stare at him. Hyukjae wasn’t usually one to yell at people, and his reaction seemed real. So real that it actually made Yesung doubt everything he thought he knew.

The air in the room was suddenly so tense that they both seemed paralyzed. Without breaking eye contact, they both seemed to be convinced that any movement they made or word they could say would unleash chaos, but for better or for worse, an interruption came anyway.

“Hyukjae, Hyukjae, Hyuk-Hyukjae”, they could hear Donghae singing loudly from the hallway in a beat that only he understood.

When he and Siwon got to the door of Hyukjae’s room, they knocked without expecting the long face that would let them in.

Without even acknowledging their presence, Yesung pushed his way past them toward his room, and with only a glance at Hyukjae, still sitting on the sofa, both Donghae and Siwon knew that nothing good could have happened. Silently, they seemed to agree with just a look that Donghae would stay with Hyukjae while Siwon would go after Yesung, so, without wasting time, the latter started trotting down the hallway after his hyung. Even as he walked further away, however, he still managed to hear Hyukjae’s broken voice from inside his room before Donghae closed the door. 

“Hyung!” Siwon called after him, managing to stop him before he got to his door. “Hyung, if this is still a joke, I think it’s already gone too far.”

“Who said it was joke?” Yesung told him dryly.

Siwon tilted his head, not following. “What?”

“You guys told me to ignore him. I said that I would,” he explained as he now opened the door. “I never said anything about it being a joke.”

“Hyung, what are you talking about?”

Yesung sighed, letting out a frustrated chuckle. “Nevermind, it doesn’t matter anymore,” he said. “Heechul was right. I couldn’t do it anyway.” 

And without waiting for an answer, he simply walked into his room and closed the door behind him.


	12. August 30th: Part IV

Donghae hadn’t even closed the door yet when Hyukjae, hiding his face, was already trying to stop him.

“Not now, Hae,” he said with a broken voice. “Just go.”

Yet, Donghae ignored his request and came in anyway. When he walked closer, Hyukjae didn’t seem to pay him any attention, as he was still trying to hide his expression with his hands, his elbows resting on his knees. But he didn’t need to see his friend’s face to see he wasn’t well. Hyukjae was breathing heavily, as if he was trying to hold back tears or a scream of despair, and Donghae could simply stare, not knowing what to do to calm him down. 

“Hey…” He said, trying to make him lift his head up. But when he failed, he walked over to his side and grabbed him by the shoulder, shaking him slightly. “Hyukie? What happened?”

Hyukjae shook his hand away, clearly upset, and insisted again. “I said I don’t want to talk right now, Hae. I just want to be alone, please.”

Donghae sighed while analyzing his friend. He really didn’t remember the last time he’d seen him like this over an argument with one of the members. _But you’ve always been different with Yesung hyung, haven’t you?_

And so he simply decided to give him his space. In his own way. Instead of leaving the room, he walked away from the couch and sat on the bed as far from Hyukjae as he could.

“Well don’t talk now,” Donghae told him. “But I’ll stay here just in case you want to talk later.”

Hyukjae looked at him almost outraged, whining wordlessly but didn’t insist again. Probably because pushing Donghae through the door in his state would have been too much effort, if not impossible.

From his place, Donghae noticed how the burger and the fries Yesung had brought him were still practically untouched on the table, which meant that Hyukjae hadn’t had lunch yet. His friend, who had tilted his head down again, didn’t seem to have any intention of eating at that moment either even though he was probably starving. But after so many years of friendship, if there was one thing Donghae knew how to do, it was manipulating Hyukjae at his own will.

“Are you gonna eat that?” He asked, pointing at the fries. He knew perfectly that Hyukjae didn’t like sharing food, specially when he was upset, which is why his friend had exactly the reaction he was hoping for.

Hyukjae gave him a threatening look, reaching over to pull the food closer toward him. So, without looking away, he started munching on the fries and Donghae had to pretend that wasn’t exactly what he’d wanted to achieve.

“I was just asking…” He said, raising his hands in surrender.

However, Hyukjae ate only a few and as soon as Donghae turned his attention back to his phone, he seemed to forget about the food again. So after a long sigh, Hyukjae started softly hitting the back of his head against the back of the sofa as if that somehow would rearrange the thoughts inside his mind.

 _He’s having a worse time than I imagined_ , thought Donghae upon seeing him. _I almost hope this is still a joke._

And with that thought, Donghae grabbed his phone, deciding it was time to end this. 

Team Tom minus Tom 

_You’ve added Heechul hyung_

_You’ve added Siwonie_

_You’ve added Kyuhyunie_

Guys

I think this got out of hand…

  
  
\------------------------------------------------

_Nothing makes sense anymore_ , Yesung practically screamed inside his mind. 

“Hyung!” Siwon insisted again after knocking for the third time. “C’mon, open the door.”

Yesung was lying down on the bed with his eyes closed and his feet hanging over the side. _I won’t_ . _Just please stop already_ , he begged him. _I just need to think. Alone. Is that too much to ask?_

Yet when the knocks kept coming, Yesung sighed loudly and, already fed up with his dongsaeng's insistence, he finally decided to answer.

"I want to be alone, Siwon-ah," he said loud enough so that it could be heard from the hallway. "Please just go away."

"Not until you tell me what happened," said Siwon, sounding determined. "You can trust me. I promise."

 _I know I can_ , he replied in his mind. _But that’s not what this is about._

When Yesung didn’t answer, this time it was Siwon’s turn to let out a frustrated sigh. “Look, I don’t know why you’re upset. But chances are that Hyukie has probably done something stupid,” he said. “If you tell me about it, I even promise to be on your side, c’mon…”

At least his comment made Yesung chuckle, but it was almost bittersweet. _I wish it had just been something stupid_ , he thought. _But it’s not stupid to me._

After a few minutes of silence, however, Yesung assumed that Siwon had finally given up. Yet the truth was that a buzz in Siwon’s pocket had been the cause for the pause in his attempt to convince him to let him in. 

Team Tom minus Tom 

**Donghae**

Guys

I think this got out of hand…

**Heechul**

Ugh, now what?

Yesung hyung won’t open the door

**Donghae**

Hyukie doesn’t want to talk either :(

**Kyuhyun**

What? What happened?

We don’t know

We just went to check on Hyuk and saw Yesung hyung bolting out of the door

**Donghae**

He seemed upset…

He is

Or at least that’s what I think he said

**Heechul**

What did he say?

He just said this has never been a joke to him

**Donghae**

So... he’s been ignoring him for real?

**Kyuhyun**

I KNEW IT

I KNEW SOMETHING WAS ACTUALLY UP

**Heechul**

I kinda had a feeling

But by the way Yesung was acting today, I thought everything was okay again

**Donghae**

Guys…

Hyuk really doesn’t look well

I can’t see him like this

I have to tell him

**Kyuhyun**

But we don’t even know what happened between them

**Heechul**

Doesn’t matter

Hae’s right

We should tell him

**Donghae**

SIWON PLEASE COME

I CAN’T DO THIS ALONE

HE’LL WANT TO KILL ME

**Kyuhyun**

He’s gonna want to kill you anyway…

He’ll want to kill us all

**Donghae**

Well, if I get murdered, at least there should be a witness :(

Hyuk won’t be able to take down Siwon

He’ll probably survive to tell my story

**Heechul**

You guys should tell Hyukjae

Kyuhyun and I will tell Teukie

I think he deserves to know too

**Kyuhyun**

WHAT?

WHY ME?

**Heechul**

BECAUSE I DON’T WANT TO DO IT ALONE EITHER

Teukie is kinda scary when he’s mad…

**Kyuhyun**

EXACTLY

Anyone want to switch with me?

**Donghae**

Not a chance

Good luck with that

**Kyuhyun**

:( :( :( :(

**Donghae**

SIWON JUST COME BACK ALREADY

I’ll be right there

"Hyung, last chance!" Siwon said now putting his phone down. _You were still there?_ Yesung thought, startled. "C'mon. Open the door and let's talk."

His friend's almost threatening tone made him chuckle but he didn’t answer. Yet, Siwon still seemed to wait a few seconds until he eventually decided to give up.

“Okay, hyung,” Siwon sighed out at last. “You win. Let me know if you change your mind.”

As he he finally heard his dongsaeng walking away, Yesung sighed in relief, closing his eyes again. _Peace at last_ , he thought. But no matter how much he tried to fight it, Hyukjae’s shadow wouldn’t leave his mind. 

_You’re so confusing, Hyukjae-ah_ , he told him in his mind.

 _I heard him myself. Twice_ . _But he wasn’t lying back there… I know those eyes and he definitely wasn’t lying._

He sighed loudly as he told himself to stop replaying the scene in his mind. _I don’t know what’s real and what’s not anymore. I don’t even know how I should feel._

 _I just know he gets on my nerves_ , he kept on rambling. _He’s so unbelievably annoying. He’s stubborn and unpredictable, prideful, impatient and everything has to be done exactly the way he wants…_

But as the image of Hyukjae smiling widely flashed behind his eyelids for a second, he couldn’t ignore the way his heart skipped a beat, making him hide his face in his hands.

_Then why does he make me feel this way?_

_\------------------------------------------------_

Leeteuk closed his eyes as if he was trying to process what his friends had just told him. “You told him to do _what_?!”

“Just to ignore him a little…” Kyuhyun repeated, although timidly this time. “Not to be mean to him or anything.”

The leader just sighed slowly, clearly upset. “Why?”

“Why what?” Asked Heechul.

“What was the point of all this?!”

Both Heechul and Kyuhyun remained quiet for a moment, a little intimidated by the evident anger in Leeteuk’s eyes, until eventually the youngest seemed to gather the courage to say something.

“Fun…?” He said with a shrug.

Heechul smacked the back of his head. “Of course not, you idiot,” he said to Kyuhyun, and after thinking for a second, he turned to Jungsoo. “Yesung also has a limit, Teukie. We wanted Hyukjae-ah to get that. Yesung’s too soft with him, I told him that already.

Leeteuk tilted his head slightly as that last phrase sounded oddly familiar. _I think Yesung-ah got it, yes_ , Heechul’s voice started to echo in his head. _He’s too soft with him… I told him that._

“So that’s what you meant…” He said, as the voice message from a few nights back started to make sense.

Yet, Heechul didn’t seem to follow. “What?”

Leeteuk simply shook his head, deciding it wasn’t the right time to talk about that. “Nevermind,” he said. “But… Yesung’s not soft. Out of the two of them, he's definitely the strongest one.”

“What do you mean?”

Jungsoo found the question strange. He was convinced he wasn't the only one who had felt that special _something_ between their friends, although they had never really discussed it. And if he was honest, he never thought they would have to.

"Why do you think Hyukjae bothers him so much?" Leeteuk decided to ask them, genuinely interested in his members' opinion. 

Heechul gaped at him for a moment, but eventually closed his mouth again, staring at him in silence as if something was clicking in his mind for the first time.

Kyuhyun, on the other hand, just shrugged again. "Because it's fun...?"

This time both Heechul and Jungsoo smacked him at the same time, but they both knew that if the maknae had actually taken it seriously, his answer would have been different.

"Why do _you_ think he bothers him?" Heechul asked Leeteuk, ignoring the younger's comment.

Leeteuk sighed as he also thought about his answer but before he said anything, he pulled out his phone to check the time. He and Kyuhyun would soon have to start getting changed for the final punishment of the show, so it gave him the right excuse to dodge the question. "It's not important," he said simply. "At least not now. Just tell Yesung-ah to drop the prank already, 'cause it's not funny."

"That's the thing, hyung," said Kyuhyun. "It's not a prank."

Heechul sighed, already sick of the drama, and proceeded to explain further. "Yesung's actually mad at him. We just don't know why."

When he heard that, Leeteuk tilted his head to the side in confusion. "But… is he mad now or has he been mad from the beginning?"

"Apparently since this whole thing started."

 _That is strange…_ He thought. "And Yesung didn't say anything to you guys?"

Heechul and Kyuhyun looked at each other as if to confirm their answer, and then they both shook their heads. Jungsoo just stared at them pensively, and without being able to come up with a reason that could explain the argument, he eventually sighed. _If this is something stupid again, I'm going to kill them both...._

Yet, for some reason, his gut told him it wasn't. If he was honest with himself, although the possible repercussions on the group did worry him, it was the possible need to talk to Hyukjae and Yesung about that _thing_ that existed between them that actually made him uneasy.

Eventually he sighed again, and turned to Kyuhyun. "We should go get changed, but we'll talk about this later."

And so Heechul, who was secretly glad to have come out of that conversation alive, went to gather up with the rest of the members while the maknae followed behind Leeteuk. Still, the leader could not stop thinking about it.

_I've tried to avoid this for so long now… Maybe the time has come?_

_\------------------------------------------------_

The knock on the door made Hyukjae lift his head up. Despite not saying out loud, the look he gave Donghae was clear enough. _Who did you call, Lee Donghae?_

"It's just Siwon," said Donghae, answering the unspoken question anyway. Before Hyukjae could even move from the couch, Donghae jumped to his feet and headed toward the door.

"I don't care," growled Hyukjae. "I. Just. Wanna. Be. Alone. Which part are you not getting?"

When Donghae opened the door, Siwon came in with a defeated smile on his face, while Hyukjae simply rolled his eyes, exasperated.

"Hyuk…" Siwon greeted him as he walked over to him. "Do you want to tell us what happened?"

Hyukjae sighed. “I really don’t want to talk right now. I thought I’d already made that pretty clear for Donghae.”

“I figured…” Said Siwon, sitting on the chair in front of him. “Then you don’t have to talk. But we do.”

“Whatever it is, can’t it wait?”

“It’s about Yesung hyung,” said Donghae, standing behind Siwon since he was a little afraid to sit next to Hyukjae. The latter, however, seemed to paralyze as if Donghae had just said the magic words to get his undivided attention.

“And judging by your reaction,” said Siwon, “I’d say that no. It can’t wait.”

For a few seconds, Hyukjae stared at his friends cautiously, not really knowing what to expect, but he eventually nodded to let them continue.

“There’s something you need to know,” said Donghae. “Just… promise you’ll let us finish.”


	13. August 30th: Part V

While Hyukjae stared at them attentively, Siwon and Donghae looked at each other, without really knowing how or where to start. Without exchanging a word, his friends seemed to have a short conversation with their eyes in which Donghae left it pretty clear that he didn’t want to be the one to start. Like so, Siwon simply sighed, giving in, and turned around to look at Hyukjae again.

The way in which Hyukjae’s eyes were fixed on him expectantly made Siwon think that despite having given his fair share of speeches and motivational talks, he didn’t know if he’d even had a listener who’d been so focused on what he had to say. Even though this time his audience consisted of a single person, somehow the pressure he felt was much greater than if he had been talking to a stadium full of people.

“Last night you told me to tell you everything I knew, remember?” He said at last, to which Hyukjae nodded immediately. “Well, apparently we don’t know the whole story but… we can at least tell you our side.”

Hyukjae narrowed his eyes, staring at them suspiciously, since there was something definitely off in Siwon’s voice and in the way Donghae seemed to be hiding behind him. “Why do I feel like you guys are being defensive about this?”

“Well, the thing is…” Donghae started to say, stopping for a second to pick the right words. “We kinda thought this was our fault.”

Almost every word in that sentence raised a question in his mind, but he eventually decided to ask about one in particular. “ _Our_?” He asked, pointing at both of them. “As in you two?”

Donghae nodded. “And Heechul hyung’s… And Kyuhyunie’s,” he confessed, but before Hyukjae could say something, he continued rapidly. “But especially Heechul hyung’s. The rest of us are practically innocent…”

“Hae…” Siwon said, almost scolding him.

As he tried to hold back, Hyukjae sighed so loudly that Donghae didn’t dare to go on. “Just tell me what happened.”

“Well, as far as we know, it all started on his birthday,” Donghae explained, now more serious than before. “We were just looking at some pictures after dinner, and we started talking about you.”

“There were some pictures where you were making an ugly face at him, and well, we said… _I_ said,” Siwon corrected himself, "that Yesung hyung is really patient with you.”

Hyukjae chuckled sarcastically, thinking it was a joke. But when Siwon and Donghae’s faces remained stoic, Hyukjae seemed more confused than ever. “Are you serious?”

Donghae seemed equally as surprised by his question. “Of course.”

“C’mon, Hyuk,” said Siwon. “He’s incredibly patient with you and you know it.”

“What are you talking about? He’s constantly annoyed at me.”

Donghae chuckled sincerely. “Yesung hyung said the same thing.”

“And we’ll tell you the same thing Heechul hyung said to him,” said Siwon. “You tease him and he reacts, it’s true. Who wouldn’t? But Yesung hyung has never been mad at you, Hyukie. Not really.”

“Heechul hyung told him he’s too soft with you,” said Donghae.

Hyukjae’s face showed how ridiculous the idea seemed to him. “Of course not…”

“He admitted it himself, Hyuk,” said Siwon.

And it was that phrase that made him stop for a few seconds to process the whole thing. _Soft?_ He thought, confused. _I always thought that was me._

Hyukjae had never been able to see Yesung with his mood down, although for a long time he’d tried not to think much about why. Still, he never stopped doing something about it.

If they were alone, Hyukjae was oddly comfortable enough to let Yesung open up to him; his friend’s warmth and sincerity as comforting as ever even when he talked about his worries.

Yet, when they were in public, it was different. Hyukjae felt observed, as if people could see everything he was trying to hide written all over his face. So he’d gotten used a long time ago to deal with his fears by telling jokes and teasing Yesung almost as much as he cared about him. _If he was never mad at me, maybe I just never gave him a reason to get upset… right?_ But he didn’t even believe his own lie.

“So what if he’s soft with me?” He asked at last, practically in a shy whisper.

“That you sometimes take it too far, Hyuk,” said Siwon. 

“And so, to make you see that,” Donghae continued, improvising, “we just thought it’d be… fun… if maybe… Yesung hyung ignored you a little bit.”

Hyukjae just blinked, trying to process what he had just heard. “What?”

“It wouldn’t have worked if he pretended to be mad,” Donghae quickly started to explain as he took a couple of steps backwards. “Maybe you would have even found it funny…”

“ _Funny?_ ” Said Hyukjae, slowly rising from his seat. If his ankle had been okay and he’d been able to chase him, Donghae would have probably bolted out of there. “Do I look amused to you?!”

“Hyuk, calm down,” said Siwon, standing in between them. “Sit down, c’mon.”

“ _Calm down?_ ” Hyukjae replied, shaking his friend’s hand off of him. “I spent days, Siwon, _days_ , thinking about what I could have done to upset him that much!”

Siwon nodded, trying to be comprehensive. “I know, but--”

“Really, we never thought it’d affect you this much,” Donghae said.

“He’s barely talking to me!” Hyukjae continued, without paying them too much attention. “He won’t even smile…”

And with that last phrase, he plopped back down on the couch, completely drained. Hyukjae glared at them while his friends just seemed to be waiting for him to continue ranting. Yet, with barely any energy, he could only ask them one question.

“All of this… just because it was _fun_?”

Both Siwon and Donghae started shaking their heads, but it was the latter who carried on explaining. “That’s actually what we wanted to tell you…”, said Donghae. “It’s not a joke to him.” 

“His own words, Hyuk,” said Siwon. “He’s actually mad at you, but we don’t know why.”

“Like I said… we _thought_ this was our fault.” 

“But apparently it isn’t.”

“So don’t try to kill us,” Donghae begged him before Hyukjae could say anything. “Please.”

For once in his life, Hyukjae didn’t know what to think, much less what to say, so he simply stayed quiet, thinking about how completely lost he actually was. If Yesung didn’t want to talk to him and his friends didn’t know what was wrong, he didn’t even know where to begin searching for the cause.

“You said you’ve been thinking…” said Siwon, interrupting his tangled trail of thought. “Did you come up with something? Anything that could have made him mad?”

After the little progress he thought he’d achieved the previous days, now he felt like he’d gone back to square one, and the frustration started to overwhelm him again.

All of a sudden, however, almost as if Yesung himself was answering the question, he heard his voice echo inside his head: _I’m just trying to give you your space. I thought that was what you wanted._ He didn’t know what he’d meant or why Yesung could even think that that was what he wanted, but for the moment, it was the only clue he had.

“Hyukie…?” Donghae tried to make him react when Hyukjae had already gone a few seconds without saying a word.

But his emotions got the best of him.

“Aaaaghhh!” He yelled, hitting a water bottle and sending it flying hard against the wall. In face of his friend’s shocked silence, Hyukjae could only hide his face in his hands and begged: “Leave me alone. Please.”

“Hyukie…”

“Leave!” He yelled, now furious.

And this time neither of them insisted on staying. Siwon and Donghae glanced at each other, nodding as if they had agreed to give him his space, and once Siwon got up from his chair, they both headed toward the door. Before closing it behind them, however, Siwon turned around one last time and said: “If you want to talk later--”

“I still wouldn’t talk to you guys,” Hyukjae cut him off.

The fact that this wasn’t technically his friends’ fault didn’t make him any less angry at them, so he simply laid down carefully on the couch and turned his head toward the backrest to avoid looking at Siwon.

Although he didn’t see him do it, his friend nodded comprehensively and decided not to press any further. So it was only when Hyukjae heard the door lock behind them and he knew he was alone, that he turned his eyes back toward the ceiling.

 _Space?_ He was asking Yesung inside his mind. _That’s the last thing I want, you idiot._

He pulled out his phone, wondering if he should at least text him something, but as soon as he pulled up his conversation with Yesung, something tightened inside his chest.

 _Hey hyung…_ He’d written in their exchange from a few days back. Of all the messages he’d started writing and erased, the only proof that was left was the notice that indicated that a message had been deleted. And so he cursed himself for not asking him that day.

He remembered sitting in his mother’s kitchen typing message after message for probably way too long. _Are you mad at me or something?_ He’d typed first, but he had quickly decided to change it. _Did I do something wrong?_ He'd tried then, but just like with the other ten different variations of the same question he had tried, he hadn’t been brave enough to send it.

After all, it was too direct. A part of him had actually been stupid enough to think that showing he cared so much could have made him look pathetic, but yet, there he was, only a few days later almost holding back tears and regretting not having asked earlier.

 _Is everything okay?_ He had asked that day, before cowardly deleting the message in a heartbeat. 

_No_ , he now answered himself. _Obviously not everything was okay._

But although he now knew the answer to that question, there were still things that didn’t add up. And as he put down his phone, closing his eyes, he figured that if he was going to get to the bottom of it all, he would have to gather up the courage to face conflict directly for once in his life. He knew he would probably feel uncomfortable and exposed, but even that would still be better than the mind numbing limbo he seemed to be living in at that moment.

So this time, he’d just ask him face to face.


	14. August 30th: Part VI

While Hyukjae and his manager crossed the backyard, a few fans were filming with their phones, seemingly worried when they saw him walking slowly and carefully. At least since it didn’t hurt as bad as before, he could thankfully walk on his own. So, despite not really being in the mood, he still forced a smile at them anyway, nodding hello at anyone who called out his name.

Yet, as soon as he left behind the cameras and started walking down the stairs toward the beach, the smile immediately disappeared from his face. The eight members and a few cameramen were waiting for him to start filming, but although most eyes turned around to look at him as he arrived, there was a single pair of eyes that didn’t.

Yesung was sitting on the sand with his eyes fixed on the crashing of the waves against the shore and his mind somewhere far away. The rest of the members, on the other hand, seemed to be analyzing Hyukjae’s expression each with a different intent. Donghae and Siwon tried to see if he had calmed down, Kyuhyun and Heechul seemed to search his eyes to measure just how angry he might be at them, while Ryeowook and Shindong simply stared at him in confusion, realizing that there was clearly something they had missed.

Leeteuk, however, walked over to him, serious but still with a warm tone. “How’s your ankle? Better?”

Hyukjae nodded, even giving him half a smile since, as far as he knew, Leeteuk hadn’t had a part in any of this. “Yeah, I’ll be fine.”

“Great,” said Leeteuk, but before he could ask anything else, he noticed that he no longer had his dongsaeng’s attention, who was instead focused on the sight of Yesung’s back further ahead.

Hyukjae kept on walking slowly, and as he walked over toward Yesung, he greeted the cameramen who’d started getting ready. His voice seemed to get Yesung out of his trance since as soon as he heard it, the older turned his head toward him. Before he could complain, however, Hyukjae was already by his side, and without saying a word, he simply plopped down on the sand next to him. 

They could both feel the gaze of all the members on them, but neither said anything. Yesung looked at him for a second, puzzled, but instead of getting away, he just turned his eyes back toward the sea. Although now Hyukjae was also mad, he was still determined to make it impossible for Yesung to avoid him again. If the older wanted to sit quietly, at least this time they’d sit quietly together. And that’s exactly what they did while everyone got ready. 

“Ready?” One of the producers asked Kyuhyun and Leeteuk, who had to fulfill their punishment.

Kyuhyun had lost the game “Escape the restaurant” the previous day which meant that as a punishment, he would have been to get into the sea at the end of the show. Yet, since Ryeowook had been able to choose someone to jump into the pool with him after coming back from his military service, Kyuhyun was given the same right. And without hesitating, the maknae had chosen Leeteuk.

“Last time you said you wanted to get into the sea!” Heechul had reminded him.

“You have no flight to catch this time!” Donghae had chimed in. “You have no excuse!”

So now, the moment had come and the maknae and the leader found themselves on the beach with their bathing suits and neoprene shirts. The members started to get in position, and Yesung stood up to do the same, stopping to rub off the sand from his pants. Before he could walk away, however, he saw Hyukjae struggling to get up out of the corner of his eye, and after debating himself for a second, Yesung finally sighed and reluctantly grabbed his hand. Hyukjae seemed surprised but still accepted his help.

Yet Yesung didn’t look him in the eye and simply walked away as soon as Hyukjae got onto his feet. The younger didn’t even have enough time to thank him but he followed behind anyway.

Once they started filming, Leeteuk, who always liked to talk maybe even more than he should, started off by explaining how this was almost symbolic. He said he tried to think about it more as a celebration than as a punishment; the marking of the end of the group’s military service, commemorated by the eldest and youngest members. The end of a cycle and the beginning of another. But of course, soon enough the rest of them started complaining.

“He’s just trying to push it off…” Siwon pointed out.

“Yeah, enough, old man,” said Heechul, taking the microphone off his hand. “Just do it already.”

When Leeteuk started to laugh nervously, Kyuhyun didn’t give him too much time to even think about it. He just grabbed his hand as tightly as he could and started to run off screaming toward the waves.

Despite the tension in the group, no one could help but laugh. Once they were in the water, they both jumped around from the sudden overwhelming cold, and Leeteuk as revenge tried to push down the maknae to submerge him even more. And so they started a ridiculous fight where they both ended up falling over and submerging themselves completely while the other members cheered for them from the shore.

After a few minutes, they came out together holding each other by the shoulders, and while Kyuhyun started chasing Ryeowook to give him a wet hug, Leeteuk grabbed the towel Heechul handed him. While he dried himself, Siwon and Donghae joined the chaos by trying to corner off Ryeowook to help Kyuhyun. And in the midst of all that mess, Heechul and Shindong tried to close off the show.

To those who’d watch the show later, it wouldn’t go unnoticed how Yesung and Hyukjae had stayed quietly by the side, simply smiling but still with their heads hanging low. Still, out of all the possible things that could have gone wrong with those two, Leeteuk was still pretty satisfied by the end of the shoot.

Like so, SJ Returns had officially wrapped up filming and everyone gave the staff a big round of applause. Everyone thanked them for their hard work and gave them a warm send off, since most of them would be travelling back to Seoul that same night.

So once he finished greeting everyone, Yesung wasted no time and hurried up ahead to go back to his room. Hyukjae was the first to notice, and if his pace hadn’t been so slow at the moment, he would have undoubtedly followed him. Still, the pictures of Yesung heading back to the hotel alone with his head low and Hyukjae staring up at him from the beach would soon reach the internet thanks to the fans who had been watching the shoot from afar.

Just like that, the members started heading back slowly. Shindong and Hyukjae were up front as the older stayed by his side in case his friend needed any help, while the others purposefully stayed behind. 

Yet, once Kyuhyun let go of Ryeowook, the latter, now also soaking wet, didn’t let him off. While Donghae and Siwon walked back toward Heechul and Leeteuk, Ryeowook grabbed the younger by the arm and pulled him down to his level.

“Ouch!” Kyuhyun complained, but Ryeowook didn’t let go. “What’s wrong?” 

Instead of answering straight away, Ryeowook just glanced back at the other group for a second, seeing Leeteuk smack Donghae’s arm, until he was seemingly satisfied with the distance he had managed to put in between them and the others. “You know what’s happening, don’t you?” He asked him with a glare.

“Uhmm…” Kyuhyun tried. “What’s happening with what?”

Ryeowook just smacked him. “You know with what! Something’s wrong with Yesung hyung, and Eunhyuk hyung has been acting like an abandoned puppy for days now.”

Kyuhyun sighed loudly, but didn’t see the point in lying. “Yeah, well…Let’s just say I don’t know the whole story.”

“That’s already more than I know. So you’re gonna tell me all about it.”

And with that, he just started dragging him back toward the hotel while the other four stayed behind to carry on with their discussion.

\------------------------------------------------

Yesung had heard his friends walk past his room in the hallway and he’d felt almost relieved that none of them had insisted in the way Siwon had done earlier. So just when he thought he’d have a moment of peace, a sudden knock on the door tore down his hope.

He groaned as he got up from the couch were he had lied down, and walked over to check through the peephole of the door. Yet he wasn’t upset when he saw who was behind it.

“ _Yo…_ ” Yesung greeted him as he opened the door halfway. He didn’t think Shindong would have come to talk about the drama that seemed to be surrounding him, but he still wasn’t taking any chances. “What’s up?”

“I know you probably wanted to be alone…” Shindong said. “But I think my laptop charger isn't working and Siwon-ah is using his so…”

“Oh,” said Yesung, now visibly relaxing and opening the door further to let him in. “Yeah, come.”

Yesung turned around and headed toward the desk where he’d left his laptop charging.

Shindong just closed the door behind him and followed. “You can give it to me later if you’re using it.”

“Nah, it’s fine,” he said unplugging it. “My battery’s already full.”

Shindong took the charger carefully, and although he seemed to have something he wanted to say, he finally decided not to make any comments and simply smiled at him as his way to thank him. “I still don’t know if the problem is the charger or the laptop, so I’m gonna try it and I’ll bring it back if it doesn’t work.”

“Sure,” said Yesung with a fake smile, but it wasn’t hard for Shindong to see that he wanted to be left alone again.

So his dongsaeng thanked him again and headed straight for the door. “See you later.”

Yesung nodded and soon as he saw the door close behind Shindong, the fake smile instantly disappeared from his face and he let himself fall on the bed, covering his eyes with his forearm.

 _It would have been a lot easier if you had just been honest from the beginning, Hyukjae-ah_ , thought Yesung. _Or if I would have._

But before he could think about the thousand different scenarios that could have led to, a new knock on the door interrupted his trail of thought. This time he got up quite quickly and headed back toward the door. _That was fast…_ He thought, amazed by Shindong’s apparent speed.

So, without taking a peek through the peephole, this time Yesung just opened the door completely but on the other side found a different face than the one he expected. Before Yesung could even try to close the door in his face, Hyukjae rushed inside, pushing past him.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Yesung asked in a mix of confusion and outrage, but still closed the door behind him.

Hyukjae walked even further into the room, turning around to look at him only when he reached the opposite side. “Just listen to me.”

Yesung sighed, walking closer. _I don’t have the energy for this right now._ “Hyukjae-ah--”

“No,” Hyukjae stopped him decisively. The determination in his eyes even made Yesung halt in his tracks, and after a long second of tense silence, Hyukjae just stood up straight and looked him in the eye. “You _will_ listen to what I have to say.” 


	15. August 30th: Part VII

Anyone could tell Hyukjae was uncomfortable. Yet due to his swollen ankle, he couldn’t even shift his weight from one foot to the other, so he simply decided to lean on the desk on his left. He took a deep breath, taking a moment to gather up courage, and with a shaky voice, he finally said: “You’re an idiot.”

Yesung tilted his head with a frown, seemingly confused. “Excuse me?” He said, truly checking if he had heard right.

“If you got carried away by what the others told you, then you’re an idiot,” said Hyukjae. “I don’t know if this was ever a joke to you or not, but whatever they told you, you shouldn’t have listened.”

“Ah…” Yesung nodded as things clicked into place in his mind. “So they told you.”

“I thought you and I knew how our relationship worked, hyung. If there was ever anything that actually bothered you, you should have told me.”

Yesung huffed out a laugh. “Look who’s talking…”

“What?”

“If you wanted me to leave you alone, you could have just told me instead of complaining about me behind my back.”

If it was even possible, Hyukjae was now even more confused. “Who said I complained about you?” He said. “Is that what the others told you?”

“Aishhh…” Yesung protested. “Stop putting the blame on them. They have nothing to do with this.”

“Well,  _ someone _ must have told you,” Hyukjae insisted. “And whoever it was, they lied to you, hyung.”

Yesung stared at him for a long second.  _ How do you make a lie sound so true? _ He thought. But Yesung knew what he had heard, and he wasn’t going to let Hyukjae treat him like a fool.

“I didn’t need anybody to tell me anything,” he said at last. “I heard it myself. And you’re the only one who lied to me.”

The look on Hyukjae’s face suddenly turned into what could only be described as a sad confusion, as if out of all the things Yesung could have said, that hadn’t even been one of the possibilities. “What?” 

And Yesung had to convince himself that it was all just an act.  _ Don’t fall for it, don’t fall for it _ , he told himself. “You wanted your space and I gave it to you. Now I want mine. Please…”

As Yesung signaled toward the door with his hand, Hyukjae showed no intention of moving. Instead his eyes remained fixed on the older, moving as if they were trying to keep up with the speed of his own thoughts. 

_ You can come up with another lie later _ , thought Yesung, starting to get fed up with his dongsaeng’s stubbornness.

And so after a few seconds, Yesung decided he’d had enough. He walked over toward the desk and grabbed Hyukjae by the arm to try to drag him out, stopping immediately, however, when he suddenly remembered why his friend was leaning on it in the first place. But as soon as he loosened his grip, Hyukjae didn’t miss his chance.

In the same millisecond in which the older stopped, Hyukjae covered Yesung’s hand with his own, grabbing it tightly. A surprised Yesung looked down at their hands and then at Hyukjae’s eyes, which were suddenly a lot closer than he thought. The frail despair behind Hyukjae’s eyes left him breathless as his heart started beating faster. His gaze, although not soft, still made him feel small, completely drowning his will to step back.

Just like that, Hyukjae’s eyes looked down at their hands and Yesung followed with his. Without really knowing why, Yesung relaxed his hand and the younger slowly removed it from his arm without letting go. Hyukjae turned their hands so that Yesung’s was on top of his, and using his thumb, he caressed it so softly and slowly that if Yesung hadn’t seen it, perhaps he wouldn’t have even felt it.

“I don’t need… or want… space,” said Hyukjae, barely in a whisper. And if Yesung hadn’t been wearing long sleeves, the younger would have seen the way his voice sent a chill down his spine, giving him goosebumps. “What can I do to make you believe me?”

When Hyukjae lifted his eyes to meet his, Yesung let out the air he’d been holding, and although he opened his mouth to answer, he realized he didn’t know what to say.

Before he could think about it, however, a new knock on the door destroyed any half formed sentence he could have thought of. They both jumped slightly, startled, and although Yesung took a step back, Hyukjae didn’t let go of his hand until he could no longer reach it. 

With his eyes, Yesung almost seemed to apologize, and clearing his throat, he said loudly: “Coming!”

When he reached the door, he took a peek outside just to see Shindong standing on the other side again. This time, however, his mind was a haze, so he just opened the door all the way.

“No luck?” Yesung asked as soon as he opened, putting on a smile that tried to seem natural but achieved quite the opposite.

“No, it didn’t work…” said Shindong. He stared at Yesung for a second, confused by his expression, but he instantly understood he had interrupted something when he saw another familiar face smiling at him without much enthusiasm from across the room. “Oh… Sorry, I didn’t know that--”

“That’s okay,” Yesung cut him off. 

Now clearly uncomfortable by the whole situation, Shindong just waved at Hyukjae, who was still leaning on the desk, and then returned the charger to Yesung. “Thanks anyway,” he said.

“Sure…” Yesung replied, but by then Shindong had already started heading back toward his room.

Once Yesung closed the door again, he leaned his back against it, turning around to look at Hyukjae, who was now fully sitting on the desk. It was so tall that his feet barely missed the floor and given the way that the adorable image made his chest tighten, Yesung knew he didn’t have the heart to try to kick him out again. So he simply sighed, feeling defeated, and walked further into the room again.

Hyukjae’s gaze followed his every move as Yesung walked back slowly toward the bed, until the older plopped down on the edge of it, facing him directly.

“So?” Hyukjae asked after a moment of silence.

“So…” Yesung started to say, stopping midway to choose his words. “You confuse me, Hyukjae-ah.”

“What do you mean?”

Yesung sighed again, this time over his discomfort of having to talk about this. “You know… sometimes… you’re like two different people. I thought I knew which one was real and which one wasn’t, but I guess I’m just not sure anymore.”

To Yesung’s surprise, Hyukjae nodded as he seemed to consider the idea. Without lifting his eyes from the floor, the younger got down from the desk and crossed the space between them, carefully sitting on the edge of the bed next to Yesung.

“Why don’t you just...ask?” He said at last.

Yesung chuckled, thinking he’d meant it as a joke, but when Hyukjae searched his eyes as if he was expecting an answer, he realized he was making a real suggestion. “And how would I know you’re telling the truth?” 

“Because, even though you might not believe me, I’ve never lied to you, hyung. I can lie to the others, and even to myself, but not to you.”

Yesung smiled, moved by the apparent sincerity in his words, but still he kept quiet, pensive. Could Hyukjae have lied to the others? Wasn’t that too far-fetched? And why would he do that? 

“I know it may not sound convincing,” said Hyukjae, “but whenever you’re ready… I’ll answer anything you want to ask me.”

Yesung nodded slightly, as he considered it. “Even if you think I won’t like the answer?”

Hyukjae pondered his answer for a few seconds until his eyes suddenly caught a glimpse of something over Yesung’s shoulder that made him smile. So he leaned over Yesung for a second to grab the hat by the bedside table, and then sat back down again.

“I’ve always said you wear too many accessories, haven’t I? And you’ve never liked that.”

It took Yesung a second to process the joke but then chuckled, playfully pushing Hyukjae’s shoulder. The truth was that making him chuckle like that had given Hyukjae more peace of mind than he had felt in a week.

And so finally the younger got back on his feet and moved to stand in front of Yesung, who was smiling up at him from his spot. “But this one looks good on you,” he said carefully putting it on him. 

They simply smiled at each other for a minute, the air between them still not completely clear, but they both felt as if they could finally breathe again.

“See you later,” said Yesung.

Hyukjae nodded, reaching his hand out to push the brim of the hat even further down. With that, he just smiled at him one last time, and then finally headed for the door.

\------------------------------------------------

While they were heading back, Kyuhyun had told him everything about Team Tom and the little prank they had planned. Now as the younger was getting ready to take a shower, Ryeowook was sitting behind the slightly open door of the bathroom, asking anything and everything that came to mind.

When Kyuhyun opened the tap and walked into the shower, however, a small cold breeze suddenly slipped in from under the bedroom door, reminding Ryeowook that his shirt was also wet. The sea water had left it sticky which made it feel a little uncomfortable.  _ I could get sick if I don’t get changed _ , thought Ryeowook. 

“Kyu, I’m taking your key for a second,” he told him as he got up. “I’m gonna go change and I’ll be right back.”

“Okay,” Kyuhyun replied loudly enough to overpower the sound of the water.

Ryeowook grabbed the key from the desk, and before heading out, he also closed the door of the bathroom so that Kyuhyun wouldn’t get cold either.

So he simply headed toward his room, right next door to Kyuhyun’s, and immediately pulled off his shirt. He’d decided that he’d take a shower once he was done talking to Kyuhyun but for the moment, he only took a towel and made it damp, wiping down the places where the sea salt had made his skin dry. When he was satisfied, he turned to his suitcase to grab a new shirt but he suddenly stopped.  _ I don’t want to wear a clean one if I’m gonna be taking a shower in a while… _ He thought.  _ I should have brought more clothes. _

He considered putting on just a hoodie but an idea suddenly struck him. Why wear his when he could wear one of Kyuhyun’s? And so, with his torso naked, he peeked his head out the door, looking both ways. He was surprised to see Shindong, heading back to his room with a seemingly confused face, but since he was cold, he decided not to ask about it.

“Hyung…” He called out in a low voice. “Is there anybody else around?”

It was only then that Shindong seemed to notice Ryeowook’s head peeking out. “Uhmm… no…” He said, turning around to check. “Why?”

But instead of answering, a shirtless Ryeowook ran out of his room toward Kyuhyun’s, and once inside, he peeked his head out again. “Don’t ask.”

Shindong simply shrugged and kept on walking. “I don’t question anything anymore.”

When Ryeowook closed the door, Kyuhyun seemed to have come out of the shower but he was still inside the bathroom.

“Wookie?” He said when he heard him walk in.

“I’m back,” Ryeowook told him, leaving the key over the table and went to look through Kyuhyun’s luggage. “So?”

“So that’s it,” said Kyuhyun as he opened the door of the bathroom slightly again. “We don’t know why Yesung hyung is mad or what happened between them.” 

After discarding several shirts, Ryeowook decided to grab the hoodie Kyuhyun normally wore before bed, and put it on, quite satisfied with himself. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me,” he said, now sitting at the edge of the bed. “Especially after the other day.”

“What are you talking about?”

“The day we had practice,” said Ryeowook as if it was obvious. “I don’t remember the last time I saw Yesung hyung so upset.”

“Right…” Kyuhyun remembered. “After he went back for his hat…” 

“I thought that was when all this started,” said Ryeowook. “That day they were both… off. They wouldn’t stop looking at each other.”

Kyuhyun turned off the light of the bathroom and finally walked out, as he stared down at the floor pensively. After a few seconds, he stood in front of Ryeowook and started thinking out loud. “I asked him why Eunhyuk hyung didn’t give it to him that day but he didn’t say.”

“Do you think they argued?” Asked Ryeowook. “Maybe that’s why he came back without it.”

But Kyuhyun shook his head, quite convinced. “If they had argued at least Eunhyuk hyung would know why Yesung hyung’s mad. Or they’d both be mad.” 

“Then what do you think happened?”

“I don’t know…” He said, suddenly noticing what Ryeowook was wearing. “Is that my hoodie?”

Ryeowook nodded, smiling. “I didn’t want to put on one of my clean shirts. I still have to take a shower.”

“So you decided to grab  _ my _ hoodie?”

Ryeowook pretended to be offended, although he walked past him smiling. “That’s for not telling me earlier,” he said. “I’ll give it back to you later.”


	16. August 30th: Part VIII

Leeteuk had just finished taking a shower so he came out of the bathroom in only his underwear and the towel that he had just used to dry his hair now draped over his shoulders. 

The evident tension in the group about the situation between Yesung and Hyukjae was also taking a toll on him. _And to think I actually planned to relax for a few days…_ He thought with a sigh. But all hope of being able to do that, suddenly vanished when he grabbed his phone from the bedside table. 

As soon as he tapped on the screen, a notification from a recommended article popped up, making him sit at the edge of the bed to read it more comfortably. « _Super Junior #Eunhyuk suffers injury during the group’s trip to Jeju_ », it said. It talked about how Hyukjae had been seen limping around the hotel, always with the help from the managers, with some accompanying pictures of his dongsaeng in his torn yellow pants when they returned from the photoshoot. 

Yet before he could check out other articles, a new unexpected notification popped up at the top of the screen.

Team Tom minus Tom 

_Donghae added you_

**Donghae**

Guys, even ELF knows now…

**Heechul**

Knows what?

**Donghae**

About all this with Hyukie and Yesung hyung

**Kyuhyun**

What? How?

**Donghae**

The pictures of today’s shooting at the beach

They look like they came out of a kdrama

I’m not even gonna ask what this group is

Just send the pictures

**Donghae**

[Link]

**Kyuhyun**

Why are you also tagged?

**Donghae**

Because they are always asking me if I’m jealous :/

**Heechul**

HAHAHAHAHAHA

That’s your contribution to the group

**Donghae**

Uhm, are you forgetting who created this group?

I even created the original one!

**Heechul**

So everything’s your fault then?

Finally you confess, Lee Donghae

**Kyuhyun**

Someone take a screenshot and send this to Hyukjae

**Donghae**

NOOOOO

:( :( :( :( :(

Stop, this isn’t funny

There will definitely be drama over this

You know that, right?

**Siwon**

I was reading the theories that are going around

And there’s already a bunch

**Kyuhyun**

But if we don’t even know what happened

**Heechul**

I don’t even think HYUKJAE knows what happened

If just a few pictures and videos already caused so much fuss

I’m sure there will be articles about it soon

**Donghae**

Uhmmm… hyung?

What?

**Donghae**

[Link]

Leeteuk was almost afraid to open the new link Donghae sent but as soon as he saw the title, he realized it was even worse than he imagined. « _Rumors assure that #Yesung might have caused #Eunhyuk’s injury_ », he read.

Leeteuk sighed deeply as he read comment after comment, most of them defending Yesung but there were also a few who were already cursing him for allegedly hurting Hyukjae. _This got out of hand already_ , he thought. _I have to talk to them._

He checked the time and figured he could talk to both of his dongsaengs after dinner, since it at least gave him a little peace of mind to know that it wasn’t true. _We can just deny it and be done with it._

For the moment, however, he thought he deserved to get some rest, at least for an hour or so. After all, he had a weird feeling that it would be a long night.

\------------------------------------------------

The hotel where they were staying actually had three different restaurants so they had discussed for hours in the group chat about which one they’d be going that night. Having given a proper send off to the production team, the trip now became a simple weekend escapade among friends. But nothing was actually simple when it came to them.

Some wanted to try one restaurantes, some the other, while Hyukjae insisted that he already liked the one they’d been to. They had even suggested solving it with a game of rock, paper, scissors but none of them were willing to get out of their rooms. And so they ended up choosing an entirely different option, a japanese food restaurant that despite not being inside the hotel, was still close enough, only a ten minute walk away down the coast. 

Even though Leeteuk had suggested to get a ride since Hyukjae still had trouble walking, the younger had insisted he could definitely walk a short while as long as they didn’t rush him. In any case, Hyukjae would have still walked as far as he needed to just for the bowl of ramen he planned to eat.

So, just after eight o’clock, the members had agreed to meet downstairs. Since they were a large group of guys with particularly unconventional hair, it was impossible for people not to recognize them, so while they waited for Kyuhyun and Donghae, the rest kindly waved at the people who had started gathering around them.

Once everyone was there, they calmly walked out of the hotel door and started walking. Although the cloudy sky told them there would probably be a storm later that night, they could still catch a glimpse of the stars in between the clouds and it still wasn’t windy. 

Instead of focusing on the sky, however, the members seemed perplexed at the obvious mood change in Hyukjae and Yesung, who, despite not being exactly bursting with happiness, did seem a lot calmer. With the sole exception of Shindong, who had interrupted their talk, the rest of the members were looking at them as if they didn’t understand what had happened.

Hyukjae had stayed by Ryeowook’s side, who had stayed behind to keep him company, so they stayed together several feet behind the others while Yesung walked next to Shindong by the front of the group.

“Sorry for interrupting earlier…” Shindong told him all of a sudden.

Yesung chuckled as he thought how the situation must have felt like from his perspective. “It’s okay, really,” he said timidly. Yet, when he suddenly remembered the reason why Shindong had knocked on his door in the first place, he didn’t miss his chance to change the subject. “So? Did you get your laptop to charge?”

“Ugh, no,” Shindong sighed, frustrated. “It had happened before, but although it wasn’t charging at home, I managed to make it work the other day at the practice room.”

“Is that why you stayed after we left?”

Shindong nodded. “Yeah, I was waiting for it to charge up as much as possible. But hey, at least we found your hat while we waited.”

“Yeah…” He replied, faking a half smile.

The truth was that he didn’t want to think much about that day. He knew what he had heard but he also knew how Hyukjae usually made him feel when he was being honest. And that was how their talk had felt earlier. Real. So if he was going to fix thing up with him, Yesung figured he should at least give him the benefit of the doubt. So he simply kept on walking with his eyes fixed on the ground, while his mind went back and forth between that practice room and his hotel room.

“Eunhyukie insisted on giving it to you himself, you know?” Said Shindong, breaking the silence. Yesung frowned curiously when he thought he heard a change of tone in Shindong’s voice, so he turned to look at him. “I don’t expect to know what happened between you guys but he really does care about you. You know that, right?” 

“What makes you say that?” Yesung asked a little awkwardly.

Shindong just shrugged. “Because… He always asks about you or talks about you when you’re not around. Maybe you didn’t know that.”

Although he found it hard to believe, Yesung still couldn’t help but smile. “I’m sure he doesn’t say anything good.”

“No, for real,” Shindong insisted, lowering his voice. “Like, don’t tell him I told you, but I know for a fact that he actually really wanted you to go to that dinner with his parents the other night. He would never say that to you, but he did say it to me.”

Yesung huffed out a laugh. _He said exactly the opposite, Shindong-ah. Don’t lie to me._ “That’s not true…”

“Ah, hyung, why would I lie?” Shindong insisted. And although the sincerity in his words should have been comforting, it only left Yesung even more confused. “But don’t tell him I told you. I promised I wouldn’t.”

“Why not?”

Shindong chuckled to himself. “You know him. He’s too embarrassed.”

“Hey, hyung!” Donghae’s voice suddenly interrupted them. “Can you take a picture of us?”

In the middle of the path they were walking on, there was a big fountain, surrounded by a few bars that seemed to be doing well. Without them noticing, Siwon, Donghae and Kyuhyun, who were walking right behind them, had run toward the fountain to take pictures and now wanted one with the three of them. So, Shindong, although grumbling a little, still pulled out his phone to please his dongsaengs, leaving Yesung behind.

“Wait for me, wait for me!” Suddenly said Ryeowook as he ran toward them.

And just like that, while their friends turned what was supposed to be a single picture into a mad photoshoot, Yesung couldn’t help but laugh as he stared at them from afar. 

“You’re not taking pictures. That’s weird…” Hyukjae said all of a sudden. The younger had walked over to him, slowly but surely, and was now standing beside him. Yet, when Yesung shrugged, not knowing what to say, Hyukjae grabbed his arm and pulled him even closer. “C’mon, let’s take one together.”

It was usually Yesung who had to convince him to take a picture, so it threw him off when Hyukjae suggested it. _This is rare_ , he thought, but nodded anyway.

“Are you sure?” Yesung asked him while Hyukjae pulled out his phone. “I’m sure there’s people who think I pushed you down the stairs or something.”

Hyukjae laughed but still prepared the camera. “So you saw the articles…”

“And the pictures, yeah,” said Yesung. But that did make Hyukjae freeze. He seemed a little ashamed that Yesung had seen the sad expression on his face from those pictures, but when he lifted his eyes, the older was smiling at him softly, which allowed him to relax. “I’ll just say they don’t make me look any less guilty.”

“More reason to upload one then, hyung,” Hyukjae chuckled. “Let’s show them we’re okay.”

Yesung sighed, hesitating for a second but corrected him anyway. “Maybe not _entirely_ okay but--”

“Hyung…” Hyukjae whined.

Yesung let out a small laugh, but still decided to give in. “Fine, fine,” he said, as he pulled out his own phone as well.

« _Thank you, ELF, for the get well soon messages. I will be all healed up soon enough, don’t worry about me. PS: It was my fault._ » Hyukjae wrote as a caption with their picture.

It made Yesung chuckle, deciding to upload one himself as well. In the one he chose, Hyukjae was pointing at the moon which had magically appeared for a moment from behind the clouds, only to disappear again a few minutes later. So Yesung smiled at it, and before posting it, he decided to caption it with something short and simple. « _Dalnim x2_ », he wrote.

Once they were done and they put their phones away, they kept on walking slowly without waiting for the others. They hadn’t even noticed that their friends had stopped their photoshoot and were instead looking at them, surprised at seeing them walk away side by side. And although neither of them said much the rest of the way, Yesung’s heart skipped a beat when he saw Hyukjae smiling warmly out of the corner of his eye.

 _I could get used to this Hyukjae_ , he thought.


	17. August 30th: Part IX

After Yesung and Hyukjae had left their members in shock with their change of attitude, at least their dinner had gone by in a relatively normal way - or at least as close to normal as Super Junior could even aspire to get.

When they went back to the hotel, Leeteuk wasn’t sure how it had happened exactly, but somehow everyone had ended up in his room laying on his bed and on the couch. Donghae and Siwon were having fun by hugging a whining Shindong on the bed while Hyukjae, Ryeowook and Kyuhyun took up the whole couch. Heechul, from his place sitting comfortably at an armchair, scolded them while an amused Yesung was up on his feet taking pictures.

“Let’s play a game,” said Ryeowook all of a sudden.

Leeteuk chuckled at his cute whining tone. “Fine, but nothing that involves hitting each other. At least not in my room.”

“Boring,” Donghae said mockingly, making Leeteuk throw a cushion at him.

“We could go to the bar…” Kyuhyun suggested.

“And make a fool of ourselves in public?”

Heechul laughed. “That’s basically our job,” he said as he got up. “C’mon, the night isn’t over just yet.”

Kyuhyun didn’t take long to follow him toward the door, while the rest simply followed because they didn’t exactly have any objection.

When they walked into the hotel bar, there weren’t more or five people there, but when staff saw them all together, they quickly approached them to offer them an isolated area with more privacy. While they walked toward their table, Yesung and Hyukjae glanced at the table where they had sat the night before, now occupied by a young couple, and it seemed to both of them as if that had happened a long, long time ago.

Now, however, a folding screen separated them from the rest of the bar while they could still enjoy the view from outside through the big floor to ceiling windows.

Hyukjae sat right in front of Yesung, smiling when he saw the older seemed to be having a good time. And so, after a short debate, they ended up ordering a couple of large bottles of soju as well as a few small beers.

“Teukie hyung and I don’t drink that much,” he explained after ordering those last ones. “And Donghae shouldn’t either.”

“Hyung!”, whined the latter.

“You can even have water if you want,” said Kyuhyun, “but you’re playing anyway.”

Donghae nodded, although he still grabbed one of the beers. “What are we playing?”

“Truth or dare?”

“Absolutely not,” said Leeteuk, decisively. “I can already see things getting out of hand after the first dare.”

“How about true or false then?” Ryeowook suggested, and Kyuhyun seemed to like the idea.

“How does that one go?” Yesung asked.

“Well,” Heechul began to explain from the other end of the table, “let’s say I’m starting. So I’ll say something that I believe is true about you. If I’m right, you drink. If I’m not and what I said is false, then I drink.”

The game sounded just as dangerous as the last one, if not more, but he didn’t say anything. All the questions he had tumbling around in the back of his mind suddenly came to the front, and as he hesistantingly looked up at his dongsaeng sitting in front of him, the phrase the younger had said to him earlier now seemed to be written again in his eyes.  _ Why don’t you just ask? _

So after debating it for a few seconds, Yesung finally nodded in agreement. “Yeah, okay.”

Taking the cue, Siwon clapped once excitedly and said: “So, who’s going first?”

Several bottles of beer and soju later, the members couldn’t stop laughing. By that point, the were practically the only ones there except for an elderly man who had fallen asleep in his place in a corner, but even if the bar had been full, they were way past the point of being embarrassed for their loudness.

“That’s so fake!” Kyuhyun said to Heechul. “You’re lying!”

“I’m telling you guys, it’s true!” He insisted. “I’ve never sent a drunk texted an ex!”

“There’s no way…” Siwon laughed. 

“I’m serious! Not an ex, not anybody,” Heechul explained proudly. “I don’t need alcohol to say what I think.”

“Liar!” Yesung said, trying to cover it up with a fake cough as he smiled at Leeteuk.

Yet, when Heechul saw Yesung’s complicit eyes and the way the leader tried to cover his smile timidly, he squinted his eyes at them suspiciously. “What’s up with you two?”

“Nothing…” Leeteuk lied.

But Yesung wasn’t backing off. “Teukie hyung may not be an ex, but he does have proof that you get a little more loving when you drink.”

With that, an uproar of uncomfortable screams and laughter filled the room as everyone playfully pushed the two oldest members of the group, who were sitting at opposite sides of the table.

“C’mon, show us!” The younger ones insisted over and over again.

Despite laughing along, however, the leader looked at Yesung almost as if he was asking for permission. Yet without thinking too much, a confused Yesung simply encouraged him to take out his phone, so Leeteuk did as he was told.

The group burst into roaring applause while Leeteuk looked for the voice note in his phone while Heechul was almost curling himself into a ball expectantly, already embarrassed in advance. So when the eldest was ready he told everyone to be quiet and handed his phone to Ryeowook, who was sitting toward the middle, so that everyone could hear well.

“ _ Teukie-ah… Why didn’t you come today? We had a really good time, for real… You… would have been very useful… Mmm, yes, very useful _ ,” said Heechul’s voice in the recording, making him cover his face with his hands while everyone laughed. Or at least everyone but Yesung, who suddenly remembered the whole content of the voice memo. “ _ But it’s alright… I’ve got you covered. It’s so hard to teach the kids, Teukie. I don’t know how you do it… but I think Yesung-ah got it, yes. He’s too soft with him… I told him that.  _ ”

Yesung, now serious, lifted his eyes to watch Hyukjae’s reaction, whose smile started fading as soon as he understood what Heechul was talking about.

“ _ Maybe Kyuhyunie is right and I’m just too harsh… But I have to be, Teukie. I can’t let anyone mess with you, no. You just keep taking care of everyone else and I’ll take care of you, okay? I love you, buddy, really… You’re the best… _ ” 

Despite the hilarity of the audio, the atmosphere was no longer filled with laughter but an awkward tension that spreaded across the table. You didn’t need to be a genius to figure out what Heechul had been talking about, which is why everyone’s eyes suddenly turned to look at Yesung and Hyukjae, who were silently looking at each other instead.

“I guess you were right, Yesung-ah,” said Heechul, trying to cut the tension a little bit. So he grabbed his glass and drank all of it in one shot, admitting his defeat. “But Teuk isn’t my ex. I would never break up with him.”

The comment made everyone chuckle a little, and although they could still feel the tension in the air, at least he had managed to get everyone’s attention for a moment. Still, when he made a heart with his fingers and directed it toward Leeteuk on the opposite end of the table, at least Jungsoo’s smile was genuine.

“Well…” Said Donghae, trying to move on. “Who’s next?”

“I am,” said Ryeowook with a serious expression on his face. The determination in his eyes as he now stared at Hyukjae made the latter swallow nervously, not knowing what to expect from the upcoming question. “The other day after practice--”

“Wook,” Kyuhyun interrupted him warningly.

Still, Ryeowook simply decided to ignore him and carried on with his question. “You argued with Yesung hyung when he went back for his hat,” he said. “True or false?”

Hyukjae frowned, confused, while Yesung lowered his head, trying to avoid his dongsaeng’s gaze. “False…” Said Hyukjae, turning to analyze Yesung’s body language. “I didn’t even see him.”

With that, Ryeowook also looked at Yesung, and judging by both of his friends' looks, he decided to believe him. So he took his glass and took the shot of soju he’d earned.

Just like that, in the middle of the awkward silence, Hyukjae’s turn came, and although he didn’t say who he’d be asking his question to, his fixed gaze on Yesung didn’t leave room for doubt.

“You went back for the hat…” He said in a low voice.

“That doesn’t count,” said Yesung rapidly, trying to avoid the subject. “Ryeowook already told you that.”

Hyukjae shook his head. “That wasn’t the question,” he said without losing focus. “I was just thinking out loud.”

“Oh…”

After staring at him silently for a few seconds, as if he was searching for the right words, he finally seemed to decide the phrase he’d put to the test. “You’re still a little mad at me.”

Yesung sighed. “Hyukjae-ah--”

“True or false, hyung?” Hyukjae asked without missing a beat.

The determination in his voice and the intense gaze made it impossible for Yesung to look away. But although the younger seemed to have him right where he wanted, Yesung figured that if he was going to play along, at least he decided he wasn’t going to lose. 

So after a second of pushing his doubts away, Yesung stretched out his hand across the table, putting aside his bottle of beer as he took Hyukjae’s shot glass, filled with soju instead. He stared at it for a second, and as he tried to ignore the unmistakable feeling of his members' eyes piercing through him, Yesung simply lifted the glass up to his lips. He stopped, lifting his gaze to meet Hyukjae's, and without saying a word, he just bottomed out its content.  _ True _ .

Once the glass was empty, he put it down forcefully, placing it back on the table as he started to get up.

“Where are you going?” Asked Donghae, beside him.

“I just want some air,” said Yesung without looking at him and simply headed out.

“Hyung…” Hyukjae tried to call after him, but when Yesung didn’t stop, he also started to get up to go after him. “Hyung!”

Siwon himself even tried to stand up but Kyuhyun stopped him halfway, giving him a sign to leave them alone. Once Hyukjae also disappeared from sight and the rest of the members were left alone, Leeteuk stretched out his hand toward the empty glass Yesung had left behind, and filled it up again.

“There’s something going on between those two,” he said to no one in particular.

“True…” Everyone replied in unison, grabbing whichever drink they had at hand.

Yesung crossed the bar quickly, walking past the still asleep man as he reached the door to the hotel backyard. So he simply pushed it with probably more strength than needed, and walked out without turning around to see if anyone was following.

The yard and the swimming pool were well lit, although the dangling lights wouldn’t stop moving due to the increasingly stronger wind draft. 

Yesung walked by the edge of the pool, only stopping when he reached the top of the stairs that headed down to the beach. He closed his eyes, and despite the wind being too strong for his liking, the cold sensation on his face still felt nice.

He tried to calm himself down by breathing slowly, but when he heard light steps coming up closer behind him, he immediately knew the argument was not yet over.

Hyukjae stood on his right, just a step behind him, and for a second he simply enjoyed the wind next to him. 

“Talk to me,” the younger said at last.

Still, Yesung took his time to reply. He just sighed deeply, and when he finally felt ready to face Hyukjae again, he turned around slowly to look at him straight in the eye.

“Why do you act differently when we’re alone?” He asked. This time he had simply decided to be direct.

The way in which Yesung had gone straight to the point caught Hyukjae with his guard down, so his first instinct was to get defensive. “You do it too.”

“It’s different,” said Yesung, shaking his head. “I actually like spending time with you, and I would never say otherwise.”

“I told you I never--”

“Don’t tell me you never said it because I was there, Hyukjae!” Yesung didn’t let him finish. “You said it to Donghae when he went for lunch, and Shindong after practice!”

Hyukjae frowned, more confused than ever. “What?”

Yesung sighed, frustrated. “Who are you lying to, Hyukjae? Me or them?” He asked. “I admit I may be a little clingy sometimes, but if you really find me that unbearable and annoying, you should have just said so, instead of laughing with the others behind my back.”

“Hyung, that never happened!”

Yesung huffed out an incredulous laugh. “Why did you tell me to ask you if you were just going to lie to me?”

“Why don’t you want to believe me?!” Hyukjae raised his voice, already desperate. “You’re imagining things!”

Yesung kept quiet for a moment, staring at the agitated expression on Hyukjae’s face, until he finally seemed to give up, nodding as a response. “You’re right…” He said, more disappointed with himself than with Hyukjae. “I’ve spent years imagining things. I think that’s the problem.”

Yesung stood still, waiting for an answer, but Hyukjae had been rendered speechless. He knew it wasn’t the most upfront confession but it was already a lot more than Yesung ever thought he would say. As the younger’s face started to get softer as he seemed to go through different emotions, Yesung started to feel more and more exposed by the second. Anger, confusion, revelation, then awe, and if only Yesung had waited one more second, he would have probably seen a happy smile appear on his dongsaeng’s face. But that wasn’t the case.

After seeing Hyukjae’s shocked expression, Yesung simply couldn’t handle the embarrassment any longer.And so he lowered his gaze and quickly turned to run down the stairs toward the beach. He was so overwhelmed that he didn’t know whether the feeling of a hand trying to grab his own had been real or not, but he didn’t turn around to check. The further away he ran, the more the buzzing in his ears seemed to drown out Hyukjae’s voice, even making him think that perhaps that was just his imagination playing tricks on him too. 

_ You just keep imagining things _ , Yesung told himself without slowing down.  _ You’re pathetic. _

\------------------------------------------------

Hyukjae had tried to grab his hand to stop him but he’d managed to slip away.  _ You’re an idiot _ , he repeated to himself over and over as he was now halfway down the stairs, simply feeling powerless as he watched Yesung run further into the distance.  _ You should have said something! Anything! _

If his ankle had been in a good condition, Hyukjae would have ran after him without hesitating, so he just cursed himself for having been so clumsy. He had never once thought he would even get a glimpse of a chance to tell Yesung how he felt about him, and he couldn’t let that chance slip away.

“Hyuk-ah,” Leeteuk’s voice suddenly surprised him from behind. Now as he walked over to him, he grabbed him by the shoulder and despite already knowing the answer, he asked: “Is everything okay?”

Hyukjae sighed, frustrated, and shook his head. “No, hyung,” he said truthfully. “I really need to talk to him.”

“Don’t worry. He’ll be back.”

So when he could no longer make out Yesung’s figure in the distant darkness, Leeteuk insisted that they wait for him inside. And although Hyukjae unwillingly followed, he figured his hyung was right. After all, the storm would break out at any minute so Yesung couldn’t take too long to come back.  _ Right? _


	18. August 31st: Part I

The members had watched the argument between Yesung and Hyukjae through the windows, without being precisely discreet. In fact, when Yesung had turned around to look at Hyukjae, the group had started arguing about whether he had been able to see them or not. But if Yesung had noticed the piled up faces watching the scene attentively from inside the bar, he hadn’t shown any sign of it.

Still, they were able to see the moment in which Yesung had sprinted down the stairs as well as Hyukjae’s failed attempt at going after him, and almost as if they were watching a dramatic scene from a TV show, they all had different reactions. Some gasped in surprise, others let out a disappointed sigh while the rest just seemed frustrated that this whole situation still wasn’t over.

“Hey!” Leeteuk had said loud enough to get their attention. “Go. Just go to bed. I’ve got this.” 

And despite having gotten several complaints about it, he had still managed to make them do as they were told.

So after going after Hyukjae, it wasn’t too hard to convince him to head back inside. After all, his will seemed to be completely drained already, so it wasn’t hard for Leeteuk to grab him by the shoulders and try to drag him back to his room. So they simply ended up walking silently, side by side, under the few curious gazes that still remained in the lobby at that time of night. 

Once they were in the elevator, Leeteuk just watched his dongsaeng’s pensive profile while he himself thought about what he would say to Hyukjae once they were behind closed doors.

When the door of the elevator opened on their floor, the hallway was deserted. Yet, something told Leeteuk that there had to be at least a couple of pairs of eyes spying on them through the peepholes on their doors, but he didn’t really mind. He was surprised, however, when after only taking a few steps, Hyukjae’s zombie walk suddenly turned into a quick-paced, determined one.

“What are you doing?” Leeteuk asked, confused.

Without replying, Hyukjae simply plopped down clumsily right in front of Yesung’s door, and even without him saying anything, Leeteuk already knew the younger had no intention of moving from that spot.

“If I wait inside my room and then try knocking on his door, he may not want to open it,” Hyukjae explained, quite serious. “I don’t plan on letting him do that.”

“So you’re just going to sit there until he shows up?” Leeteuk asked, getting only a simple and determined nod as a response. “Is it really that important?”

The question seemed to make Hyukjae uncomfortable, as he turned his eyes away. Still, Hyukjae nodded again, although this time he did so more timidly.

When he saw the poor image in front of him, Leeteuk sighed and simply decided to give in. He walked over toward his dongsaeng, sitting right in front of him, leaning on the opposite wall.  _ I guess the time has finally come… _ He thought with a sigh.

If Hyukjae wanted to wait out there, they could do that. But if he thought that being in a hotel hallway would stop Leeteuk from speaking his mind, he was wrong.

“You’re gonna tell him how you feel about him, aren’t you?” He said at last.

And just based on the younger’s expression, Leeteuk could tell Hyukjae had definitely not been expecting that. His words seemed to freeze Hyukjae, who could only gape at him in shock. It seemed as if it had never crossed his mind that the members could already know he felt. And he had definitely not expected any of them to be upfront with him about it.

“Don’t look so surprised,” said Leeteuk. “I’ve known for a long time now.”

The lack of judgement behind the older’s eyes made Hyukjae relax a little, but he still couldn’t help but feel completely exposed. So he pulled his knees up toward his chest, hugging his legs and slightly hiding his face before speaking again with half a voice. “Do you think he knows too?”

Leeteuk smiled warmly, as if Hyukjae finally admitting it had taken off a huge weight off his shoulders that he had been carrying around with him for years.  _ It was about time, Hyuk-ah _ , he thought. Now happy to be able to have a straightforward conversation with his dongsaeng, Leeteuk considered his answer carefully.

“I don’t know,” he said. “It’s quite easy to see it from the outside, but if I’m honest, I don’t think you’ve made it easy for him.”

Hyukjae nodded slowly as he processed the thought. “Because sometimes I take it too far, right?” He asked, echoing back the words Donghae and Siwon had said to him that afternoon. “You’re not the first one to tell me that.”

“But you do act differently when you’re with him.”

Hyukjae chuckled sadly, remembering Yesung’s words. “I’ve been told that before too,” he said. “But how do you know?”

Leeteuk shrugged. “Sometimes I would just watch you two during rehearsals or on our trips, or just anywhere really. No matter how much you made fun of him when you were around us, you would always become more timid when it was just the two of you.”

Hyukjae was listening attentively, but Leeteuk couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle when he noticed the bright red color at the top of the younger’s ears giving away his embarrassment.

“You even smile at him differently…” He said almost teasingly, just to mess with him.

“Ah, stop, hyung!” Hyukjae whined, now hiding his face entirely. “Can we not talk about this ever again?”

Leeteuk giggled, quite pleased with himself. But if the relationship between his friends was actually going to take a new turn, he had no intention of ever stopping messing with them. “I can’t make any promises,” he said in between laughs.

So while Hyukjae simply kept whining, Leeteuk could only sigh, hoping from the bottom of his heart that everything would turn out okay between them.

\------------------------------------------------

The cold sand had gotten inside his shoes, making it harder to walk but Yesung hadn’t stopped for a second. The wind was getting stronger and the now completely black clouds were now covering the moon, so having left the hotel lights already far behind, the darkness of the night was only momentarily interrupted by the small lightnings in the sky. 

_ There’s no turning back now _ , Yesung kept thinking.  _ Things will never be the same again. _

Now as he walked down the beach without a jacket or an umbrella, Yesung regretted bolting out of the hotel without thinking too much. In the midst of his whirlwind of emotions, he had only thought of how he needed to get out of there. He had managed to catch a glimpse of the outline of his friends’ heads watching from inside, but he hadn’t dared to look at them. Yet, the look on Hyukjae’s face was not something he would ever forget. It had felt as if his eyes were staring right through his soul, leaving him completely exposed, and Yesung’s first instinct had been to run.

But it wouldn’t take him much longer to realize that maybe he had run too far.

Nonetheless, the storm would break out at any moment and Yesung knew it wouldn’t be smart to stay on the beach.  _ Maybe I should start heading back _ , he thought, suddenly feeling goosebumps appear on his skin from the cold.

When he turned his eyes back toward the hotel, however, he was surprised when he realized that he couldn’t even see the building from afar anymore, having left the touristy part of the beach behind. There were no longer other people, or shops or shelters, only vegetation and rocks next to the sand, and it was at that moment that Yesung realized that he had walked a lot further than he thought. 

He cursed under his breath, both at himself and at Hyukjae for putting him in this situation, but he didn’t allow himself to panic.

Squinting his eyes for a minute to see better, Yesung noticed a spot where the vegetation was not that dense, figuring he could slip through there.  _ The road should be on the other side… _ He thought. And without wasting another minute, he headed that way.

\------------------------------------------------

It had been almost an hour and a half since they had sat down at the hallway floor. Hyukjae wouldn’t stop checking the time on his phone, even hoping naively that maybe by some sort of miracle, Yesung would send him a message. Leeteuk, on the other hand, had spent the last half an hour nodding off, and was now resting with his eyes closed and his head against the door.

“Hyung,” said Hyukjae, making the older open his eyes. “Go to bed.”

Leeteuk yawned, shaking his head. “No, it’s okay. I’m not gonna leave you out here alone.”

“Hyung, I’m serious. Go,” Hyukjae insisted. Anyone could tell that Leeteuk would just nod off again, so it would at least be better if he got to sleep comfortably in his bed. “If you want, I can wake you up when Yesung hyung comes back.”

Before the leader could answer, however, the door in front of Hyukjae opened up all of a sudden, and Donghae’s half asleep face peeked out slowly. 

“I thought I heard you guys,” he said rubbing one eye. Despite his mind not being entirely awake, the odd situation out in the hallway only left Donghae with one possible conclusion. “He’s not back yet?” 

“Not yet,” said Leeteuk in the middle of a new yawn.

Hyukjae was going to open his mouth again to insist, but Donghae was faster. “Go rest a little, hyung,” he said, taking his key and closing the door to his room behind him. “I’ll stay.”

Leeteuk hesitated, but he had to admit he was tired. “Fine…” He said, giving in. So as he got up with a little help from Donghae, he stopped to look at Hyukjae firmly. “But you _better_ wake me up.”

Hyukjae smiled half heartedly and simply nodded. That way, Leeteuk said goodbye to them and started to walk slowly toward his room. He and Donghae watched him walk away in silence, and once the leader closed the door behind him, his friend sat down in the same place where Leeteuk used to be.

While Hyukjae pulled out his phone for the hundredth time, Donghae took a couple of seconds to come up with something to say. After having made Hyukjae upset that afternoon, he hadn’t had the chance to talk to him again. And given that his mood seemed to depend on his relationship with Yesung, Donghae wasn’t really sure which kind of Hyukjae he was going to find.

“Aren’t you tired?” He asked at last.

Hyukjae sighed, shrugging as if he didn’t really care. “No, not really.”

His answer hadn’t exactly been the most extense or the most cheerful. but at least Donghae figured that a short answer was still better than not getting one at all.

“Hey,” he decided to try. “Whatever happened, and whether it’s our fault or not, just… I’m sorry. I never thought this would become so…”

“Real?” Said Hyukjae, finishing his thought.  _ Me neither _ . Still, he couldn’t find the will to stay mad at anyone other than himself, so despite not being in the best mood, he still forced half a smile. “It’s okay. I guess you had a point. I should have treated him better, but…” __

_ But I never complained about him _ , he thought to himself. Meanwhile Donghae just stayed silent for a few seconds, waiting for the end of that sentence while Hyukjae debated whether to talk to him about it or not.

“But?” He finally asked.

Hyukjae looked up at him, still doubtful. Yet, since Donghae was technically involved in this mess as well, he figured it wouldn’t be a bad idea to talk things over with him. So he decided to repeat what Yesung had said to him. “He thinks I told you and Shindong hyung that I can’t stand him,” he explained. “He said he heard me say it.”

Donghae frowned, confused. “That you said that to  _ me _ ?” He asked. “When?”

“When we went out for lunch, apparently,” said Hyukjae. But his answer brought no clarity to Donghae whose confusion only seemed to grow. His expression made Hyukjae chuckle sadly, but since he didn’t understand things any better than he did, he could only shrug. “Don’t ask me. I’m just as lost as you are.”

“Do you want me to talk to him?”

Hyukjae smiled, grateful. “Nah, it’s okay. I don’t know if he’d even believe you anyway.”

Donghae seemed to still be analyzing the situation in his mind, trying to remember any situation in which Hyukjae had said something similar about Yesung, but he couldn’t come up with anything.

“That’s weird…” He said, thinking out loud. “You might have been joking, but I still don’t remember you saying anything mean about him.”

Hyukjae sighed deeply, partly relieved that Donghae could confirm that he wasn’t lying to Yesung, but also slightly disappointed that he still had no clue as to what the older could have heard.

“It’s not like he’s your sister’s boyfriend or something…” Donghae joked.

The comment managed to get a smile out of Hyukjae until suddenly his expression started to change little by little.  _ My sister’s boyfriend… _ He thought. And so, his own voice seemed to repeat what he’d said only a few days before.  _ He’s pathetic _ , Hyukjae had said about his possible future brother in law.  _ It’s not that I don't like him, it's just… annoying. At least I won’t have to put up with him for a while. _

“My sister’s boyfriend!” Hyukjae exclaimed, smiling widely again. So before Donghae could even process what was happening, Hyukjae had already stood up and was now walking as fast as he could toward the elevator. Once he pressed the button several times out of anxiousness, he turned back toward Donghae, who was still sitting on the floor, and yelled back at him. “You’re brilliant sometimes, you know?!” 

"Of course, but… What did I do now?"

Hyukjae laughed as the elevator door opened behind him. "I'll tell you later," he said, and with that he got in quickly.

Once the door closed, Hyukjae didn't waste any more time and immediately pulled out his phone to look for Yesung's number.

"Where are you, hyung?" He said between gritted teeth. "Where are you?"

He put the phone next to his ear but it wouldn’t ring. He checked whether he had actually pressed the call button twice, but eventually decided to hang up and try again. Yet the same thing happened the next four times he tried to call.

Aesongie

HYUNG

I KNOW WHAT YOU HEARD

IT'S ALL A MISUNDERSTANDING

I'm sorry, you were not imagining it

But I wasn't talking about you

I promise

Just come back and let me explain

Please

You weren't imagining things

None of it

You never were…

_ Not delivered _

None of his messages had been delivered and Hyukjae could only sigh, frustrated.  _ Just come back already, _ he thought. _ Please _ .

\------------------------------------------------

In order to get away from the beach, Yesung had to open up a path for himself among some trees, but despite being cold and technically lost, he still stopped for a moment to take a picture of the awe-inspiring clouds that now covered the sky.

Still, he sighed in relief once he finally found concrete under his feet instead of sand. As he looked around, he could see the dim light from a bus stop in the distance, and decided that, for the moment, that would be better than being under the open sky.

Just like that, he decided to head that way, and once he found himself under the feeble plastic roof, he sat down on the small bench, letting himself breathe in and out slowly for a minute or two. He eventually pulled out his phone, growling in annoyance when he noticed that not only did he have barely any battery left but he also had no signal. The universe just seemed to be set against him that night. Yet, he suddenly noticed a small sign stuck to the wall of the bus stop, which despite not being in the best condition, could still read a single word clearly:  _ wifi _ .

So he practically prayed as he tried to connect to the public wifi hotspot, but although a lot of places usually had one, not a lot seemed to work properly. To his surprise, however, it did seem to connect. The signal was definitely very poor and slow, but it was enough for him to open up a map and see where he was.

He’d walked a lot further than he thought and walking back would take him at least an hour and a half. So, with the upcoming storm and without even having an umbrella, he didn’t think it’d be a good idea to try, but he also couldn’t stay at that bus stop forever. After all, if a bus actually came and somehow they let him get on without paying, it would still be heading in the opposite direction of the hotel.

So instead he opted for plan B. He was certain he’d seen a few shops near the beach as he came, so he wondered how far behind he’d left them and if any of them would still be open. With any luck, there would be a place open 24 hours where he could borrow a charger to ask for a taxi, or at least a real roof where he could take shelter from the storm.

According to the map, it would take him more or less forty minutes to walk there, but given the urgency, Yesung figured he could do it a lot quicker if he ran instead, hoping to make it before it started pouring.

Just like that, he memorized the way and closed the map. Before he started running, however, he decided to use his last remaining battery to upload the picture he’d just taken to Instagram. So once he did and with only 1% of battery left, he sighed deeply, preparing himself, and then headed off.

\------------------------------------------------

Yesung wasn’t getting his texts and he wasn’t answering his calls. After several failed attempts, both frustrated and frankly worried by now, Hyukjae decided to ask the receptionists at the front desk as well as one of the bartenders if they had seen Yesung come in from either of the two entrances.

“He’s a little taller than me, quite thin, pretty eyes,” he said, describing him just in case they didn’t recognize his name.

Yet, they all told him they hadn’t seen anyone come in for a while now.

So as he stood in the middle of the bar, Hyukjae couldn’t do much else other than stare at the sky through the windows, seeing how the wind was growing stronger and the lights in the clouds were becoming more and more frequent.

Between his overwhelming need to clear up the whole misunderstanding and his concern that Yesung could still be walking out there, Hyukjae was barely holding himself together. He grabbed his phone to try to call him one last time, but before he could, he saw a notification from a new post on Yesung’s Instagram. 

Hyukjae stared at the screen for a second. It was a picture of the dark sky taken through trees, and the way a small lightning lit up the clouds made him swallow nervously. _1:23am_ , marked its timestamp. He’d uploaded a picture just a few minutes before Hyukjae called him so it could only mean that he was still out there. So with one last look at the storm outside, Hyukjae didn’t need to think twice about it. He headed straight for the door that led to the backyard and the beach, and just went after him.


	19. August 31st: Part II

Yesung had run for almost fifteen minutes until he could no longer outrun the storm. Once the first few drops started to fall, it didn’t take too long for those drops to turn into a downpour, but thankfully Yesung soon managed to get to a place with a roof where he could take shelter.

The first shop he found was a mechanic’s workshop that was closed, but he was sure he had seen more places around. His best hope when looking at the map had actually been a small convenience store that seemed to open up early and was surely not far away from there.

Yet it was only after coming across several other closed shops that he eventually found it. It was the last store in sight, so he only had the highway in front of him and to the side a small ramp toward the beach. Just like all the rest, however, the interior of the shop was still dark so Yesung walked over to the door to check the sign that hung behind the glass. _Open: 4:30am_ , it read.

Yesung sighed deeply, plopping down next to a vending machine near the door. He didn’t even have money to get something from it, so he figured he didn’t have much other choice but to sit around and wait for the storm to pass or for the store to open - whatever happened first.

\------------------------------------------------

Hyukjae didn’t know how long he’d been walking but it seemed like he’d been under the rain for ages. _It must have been well over an hour since I left_ , he thought, pulling out his phone to check the time. Yet, after walking for god knows how long under the pouring rain, he wasn’t really surprised to see it wasn’t responding.

At least two miles back, Hyukjae had already decided that going back would take the same amount of effort as powering through until he found a shelter. He figured that if he kept going, he would at least still have hope of finding Yesung. _God, I hope he’s alright_ , he thought, almost forgetting about his own state.

So as having slipped through some trees, he’d left the beach and was now walking slowly beside the highway, which he admitted was just as dangerous if not more than walking on the sand. Yet, from where he was and through the water curtain that made his vision difficult, he seemed to make out a few small structures in the distance, that at least looked like a good shelter. So, slowly but surely, that’s where he headed for.

\------------------------------------------------

It had been over forty minutes since Yesung had sat down at that desolated place. He hadn’t seen a single car drive by or any sign of life that could help him. So, without a phone, without money and without anything to do but wait, Yesung couldn’t stop his mind from going over his argument with Hyukjae time and time again.

 _Why does he insist that I imagined it?_ He thought. _Isn’t it easier to just tell me the truth?_ Yet, he still had that weird feeling that Hyukjae felt he was being sincere. _Perhaps I should have let him explain._

Still, beyond their argument, what stung the most was the embarrassment of having exposed himself like that only to not get an answer. He didn’t even know why he’d said it. After all, he’d spent years trying to convince himself that there was no hope of anything ever happening. And so he’d spent the last half an hour telling himself that every gesture and every action from Hyukjae that had ever fed his delusions, had been just that: delusions.

Yet, as he lifted his gaze, he suddenly seemed to see a very real hope. Through the cascade of water that was now falling from the roof, he could see how a thin figure seemed to be walking closer under the rain. And the closer it got, the more familiar it seemed to get.

“Hyukjae-ah...?” He said in a whisper.

He had to be imagining it. _Another thing that’s just in your head…_ He told himself for a second. But then as the figure became clearer, Hyukjae’s limping walk made it evident that it couldn’t be anyone else but him. _Oh my god._

“Hyukjae-ah!” He called out to him, running toward him without even stopping to hesitate.

“Hyung...?” Asked Hyukjae, lifting his head up when he heard his voice.

“What are you doing here?!” He yelled at him as he approached him.

Hyukjae just smiled, so delighted to see Yesung’s face that for a moment he even forgot about the rain. “I had to talk to you.”

The younger’s simplicity made him chuckle, but without wasting another second, he walked over to his side, grabbing his waist to help him. “You’re insane, you know that?”

Hyukjae laughed and nodded. “Yeah…”

“C’mon,” said Yesung, helping walk slowly toward the shop.

When they finally reached the shelter from the small roof of the convenience store, they were both completely drenched. Their clothes were completely soaked and droplets of rain were still falling down their skin and hair.

“Sit,” said Yesung. Hyukjae leaned against the wall and slided down carefully while Yesung kneeled down beside him. “How are you gonna walk so much with your ankle like that? And in the middle of a storm!”

“Hey, it’s also your fault! I tried to wait for you back at the hotel, but you wouldn’t come back! You could have at least answered your phone!”

“I ran out of battery…” Yesung explained.

“And speaking of phones,” said Hyukjae, pulling out his own clearly soaked one from his back pocket. “I think you owe me one.”

Yesung laughed. “Of course not. You could have brought an umbrella,” he said, poking his forehead slightly. “It’s not my fault that you’re stupid.”

Hyukjae clicked his tongue. “I was even worried about you and this is how you treat me,” he whined jokingly.

It pulled out a small smile from the older and Hyukjae could only stare at him for a moment, thinking about how much stronger Yesung was than him. Despite being dripping from head to toe and still upset at him, his hyung could still manage to smile. Hyukjae, on the other hand, was only feeling guilty for having put him in this situation.

“Did you really have to run so far?” He said at last. “You didn’t give me time to reply.”

His comment seemed to paralyze Yesung. The older was definitely not expecting Hyukjae to bring it up so soon, but most importantly, he wasn’t sure whether he actually wanted to hear his answer. 

“Hyuk…” Said Yesung, trying to avoid the younger’s gaze. “Really, you don’t have to say any--”

But he couldn’t finish his sentence. Before he realized it, a hand grabbed him by his shirt and a pair of lips were suddenly on top of his. Yesung opened his eyes in surprise, but after a second he allowed himself to relax, finally kissing Hyukjae back.

It was almost as if the feeling of Hyukjae’s lips on his had made it all stop. The rain, the wind, even the racing confused thoughts tumbling around in his mind. And for a second, Yesung felt as if the weight he’d been carrying in his chest had finally been lifted. 

When Hyukjae pulled back, Yesung could only stare at him. He could clearly recognize the slight embarrassment on the younger’s face, but at least the shocked expression on his own seemed to make him chuckle.

“I have a lot to say,” said Hyukjae, placing his forehead against his. “If you promise not to run from me again.”

Yesung nodded slightly, as he tried to pull himself together. “I promise,” he managed to say.

So Hyukjae let go of his shirt, slowly dropping his hands to his lap and just waited patiently for the older to sit beside him. Once he did, he was sure he could feel Yesung’s piercing eyes fixed on him, but despite having just kissed him, Hyukjae didn’t dare to lift his gaze. Instead, he only took a quick glance at him as he started to play with his fingers while he tried to figure out where to start. 

”You got things all wrong,” he said at last.

Yesung chuckled softly. “Clearly…”

Hyukjae could feel his ears burning a little, chuckling along while he continued to explain. “I think I’ve told you that Sora’s been dating a guy for a while…” Yesung nodded. “We’ve all met him already, so she brought him to dinner with my parents the other night. That’s actually why I wanted you to come.”

Yesung gaped at him for a second, slightly taken aback by the implication of being Hyukjae’s plus one. Yet he did his best to hold back a giggle and simply let Hyukjae continue. 

“My sister’s boyfriend… He’s not a bad person or anything, but he just tries to force things too much. He’s always asking me what I like, or what I think about this and that, and yes, sometimes I _would_ like him to leave me alone,” he said with a sigh. “At least I know I would have had a better time if you’d been there.”

 _That’s what Shindong-ah said_ , Yesung thought, simply looking forward for a second as he processed what Hyukjae was saying. “So…”

“So... I _did_ say all those things. But I wasn’t talking about you, you idiot,” he said with a shy smile. “I’m sorry I said you were imagining things. You didn’t imagine any of it… Obviously.”

The comment made Yesung smile but after Hyukjae kissed him, he already knew that.

“I know I’m not the best at showing affection. Especially to someone I…” He stopped mid-sentence, glancing once at Yesung before coughing awkwardly. “Especially to you. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t--”

And this time it was Yesung’s lips that interrupted Hyukjae. The younger may have had a lot to say but Yesung decided he had already heard enough. “Doesn’t mean that you don’t care,” said Yesung when they parted again. “I know.”

After all, Hyukjae had walked through a thunderstorm in that state just to look for him, so he didn’t need him to tell him with words that he loved him. Yesung knew it for sure now. And when he kissed him again, he made sure Hyukjae could wordlessly understand that he felt the same way.

\------------------------------------------------

Yesung’s clothes had dried out more than Hyukjae’s, whose still damp shirt was completely stuck to his skin. Since they were sitting behind the vending machine, at least the wind wasn’t hitting them so directly, yet both of them still had goosebumps on their arms. Now that Yesung was sitting beside him, the younger was resting his head on the older’s shoulder while they waited for someone to come to their rescue.

So Yesung’s attention was now focused on the hand on top of his left leg, as he slowly traced the lines on Hyukjae’s palm with his finger.

“It tickles,” said Hyukjae, chuckling softly. 

Yesung smiled and stopped, grabbing his hand instead. “I’m sorry.”

Hyukjae was left staring at Yesung’s hand on top of his own and he suddenly wondered why he hadn’t said anything earlier if he could have had this years ago.

“It’s a little weird, isn’t it?” Yesung said all of a sudden, interrupting his trail of thought.

Hyukjae sat up straight, turning a little to look at him but he didn’t let go of his hand. “What is?”

“This,” said Yesung, lifting up their intertwined hands slightly. “Us.”

Hyukjae couldn’t help but laugh. “Very. Very weird,” he said. Yet he still leaned in closer to Yesung with a smile, simply waiting for a second until the older realized he was asking for a kiss. Yesung just chuckled but complied anyway.

Unlike before, they took their time. It wasn’t rushed, but sweet and slow, and suddenly the wind didn’t feel as cold anymore. Yet, when he felt Yesung’s tentative touch on his cheek, it made Hyukjae inhale sharply, sending a chill down his spine as he tried to prevent the older from breaking their kiss. 

When Yesung eventually did, however, Hyukjae looked at him smiling and just shrugged his shoulders. “I think I’ll get used to us.”

Yesung smiled, squeezing his hand tighter. “Me too.”

All of a sudden, however, the distinct sound of a car approaching interrupted their moment. Only a few seconds later, they saw how a pair of headlights parked and shut off next to the store, and after telling Hyukjae to stay there, Yesung stood up to get a better look.

As we walked closer, he saw an elder man get out of a black car heading toward the shop with a big umbrella.

“Excuse me… Good morning,” Yesung said kindly as he approached him.

“Oh, I hadn’t seen you there,” said the man, chuckling a little as if Yesung had just given him a small fright. “Good morning. If you wait a bit, I’ll open in just a minute.”

Yesung looked confused until he understood what the man meant. _He’s the owner_ , he thought. “Oh, no problem, but…” Yesung said. “We’re so sorry to bother you but my friend and I have been stuck here for a while now, and we ran out of battery. Do you think you might have a charger we could borrow?”

The man looked at him carefully for a moment, as if he was trying to figure out whether he knew him or not, but then he simply leaned over to see Hyukjae sitting behind the vending machine. Despite his exhausted look, the younger still forced a smile, waving at him.

Given that Hyukjae’s appearance was definitely worse than Yesung’s, the old man seemed to take pity on them as he eventually nodded.

“I’m sure my granddaughter always leaves an extra one here. You’ll have to see if it works,” he told them, walking over to open the door. “Come in, please.”

Yesung sighed in relief, bending over slightly to give him a small bow. “Thank you so much. Truly.”

So as the man opened up the store, Yesung walked back toward Hyukjae to help him up. He placed the younger’s arm over his shoulders and held him by the waist, trying to ease the weight he put on his ankle. 

When the man saw them walking in like that, he rushed over to offer Hyukjae a small stool to sit.

“Are you okay?” He asked. “Do you need anything?”

Hyukjae smiled at him. “Don’t worry, I’m okay. Thank you.”

“Okay then…” He said, turning his attention to the counter. “Now where was that charger?”

After going through several drawers, the man handed Yesung an old iPhone charger that despite not being in the best condition, still seemed to work just fine. So he plugged in his phone behind the counter while they waited for it to charge a little, thanking the man once again.

“Do you want a cup of tea while you wait?” The old man asked them. “You two seem to be cold.”

Yesung and Hyukjae looked at each other, since although the man was right, they didn’t have any money to pay him with and they didn’t want to abuse his hospitality.

“We don’t want to bother you…” Said Yesung at last.

“Ah, it’s no bother,” he waved him off. “I’m generally alone at this hour so it’s nice to have some company.”

The old man opened a door behind the counter that seemed to lead to a small kitchen, since Yesung and Hyukjae thought they heard him put a kettle on. From his stool, only a few steps away from Yesung, Hyukjae simply stared at his hyung’s face, who despite the situation, seemed to be in a better mood than he had seen him in a long time. A few seconds later, however, Yesung seemed to feel the pair of eyes on him, so he turned to look at Hyukjae.

The wide smile that showed up on his face left Hyukjae breathless for a second, as he suddenly realized how much he had missed seeing that expression directed at him. Hyukjae only smiled back, a little embarrassed of having been caught staring, but that only made Yesung chuckle, seemingly enjoying being able to pull out that reaction from him.

A few minutes later, the man came back with two small styrofoam cups with tea bags in them and handed one to each of them. So while they waited, he asked them about their lives, where they were from and how they had ended up trapped by the storm so late at night. 

That last question had actually paralyzed Hyukjae, who didn’t know how to answer, but thankfully Yesung seemed completely unfazed by it.

“We’d gone out for a walk when he got hurt,” he lied. “And well, we were so far already that we couldn't just walk back in the middle of a storm with his ankle in that state.”

"By the looks of it, it seems like you walked through the storm anyway," the old man laughed.

"Yeah…" That was all Hyukjae managed to say, forcing a smile.

As he lowered his gaze to his now half empty cup, he thought that if this thing between him and Yesung was actually going to work, he would have to lie more often than in any of his previous relationships. Yet, since they worked together and they'd been friends for more than fifteen years, he figured there would be lots of details that would go unnoticed to the rest of the world.

Somehow it would become simultaneously the most public and most secret relationship he'd ever had. The boundaries between their lives in front of the cameras and the private lives would become blurry, but as long as Yesung could tell the difference between his real feelings and the act he'd have to put on, that would be enough for Hyukjae.

"Hey, kid," said the man to Yesung, suddenly pulling Hyukjae out of his own thoughts. "Your phone is vibrating."

He watched as his hyung walked around the counter to pick it up, putting it up to his ear. “Teukie hyung,” he said as a greeting. And although Hyukjae could overhear a clearly upset voice from the other side, Yesung didn’t seem to mind. “I know, he’s with me…” He said, looking over at him with a smile. “Yeah, we’re okay. Don’t worry.”

Hyukjae sighed contently at those words, smiling back at him. _We are. Finally._

\------------------------------------------------

Forty minutes later, just as the sky was starting to get clearer, a black car parked in front of the store and two familiar figures got out. Leeteuk and Siwon walked into the place, immediately surprised by the looks of their two friends. Not as much by the messy hair and the damp clothes, but by the newfound peace they both seemed to wear on their expressions.

Siwon hugged them both while Leeteuk thanked the owner of the store as if he had taken care of his children. As he now saw the four men together, the old man was certain he'd seen them somewhere, but he still didn't ask.

Yesung and Hyukjae thanked him profusely and practically forced Siwon to buy a bag full of snacks and candy as a way to repay his kindness.

Siwon had offered to help Hyukjae but the latter insisted that his ankle wasn't bothering him as much. Still, Yesung didn't seem convinced so he simply stayed by his side the whole walk toward the car, only turning around once more to wave at the man who had helped them.

So, with Siwon behind the wheel and Leeteuk in the passenger seat, Yesung and Hyukjae felt relieved as they finally sat in the backseat. After all, it had been a long night, and Yesung sighed when he saw the way the clouds started to disappear from the sky and the first rays of sunshine graced his face. Yet, it was only the feeling of Hyukjae's hand taking his what truly made him feel like the storm had finally passed. So quietly, he only squeezed it tighter, without letting go until they got back to the hotel.


	20. August 31st: Part III

After Leeteuk finally got through to Yesung, the rest of the members, now all well awake, had tried calling their managers with the hope that someone could send them a car they could use. They’d figured at least one of them had to answer, but they had no luck. So, they’d tried talking to the people from the hotel instead, but due to the storm and how far the complex was from everything, they’d said it might take a while for them to get a car any time soon.

Yet as a last savior, an employee from the bar who had heard about their quest for a car had approached them. Although he had to stay behind to fulfill his shift, he was willing to offer them his own car as long as the boys signed an album for his girlfriend, who was apparently a big fan.

So when they got back to the hotel, Siwon parked the car at the staff’s parking lot, which allowed them to be a lot more discreet. As they were getting down, Yesung stayed back to wait for Hyukjae, grabbing his hand to help him out of the car. Without thinking about it too much, neither of them let go. Just by walking a few meters toward the back door of the hotel, however, they found a particularly loud group of boys who had clearly noticed the gesture.

"I told you guys!" Ryeowook exclaimed perhaps a little too loudly, and then turned to Kyuhyun with a smile. "You owe me money."

Heechul also seemed excited. "See? They were married in a previous life! I've been saying that for years!"

Hyukjae laughed embarrassed and almost jumped on him to try to shut him up.

"Adopt me, hyung," said Kyuhyun jokingly to an embarrassed Yesung as he shook him by the shoulders.

Donghae instead approached Hyukjae with a smile and hugged him tight. So, once he let go, he told him cheekily: "Hey, at least you know he's going to be your parents' favorite son in-law…"

The comment made Hyukjae laugh, and although he knew it was probably true, he still pushed Donghae anyway. 

“Okay, okay… that’s enough,” said Leeteuk chuckling along. Still, when everyone had calmed down, he sighed and turned toward the new couple. “Just, no more drama. Please.”

Yesung smiled, grateful for how little Leeteuk was asking from them. “I promise.”

“Me too,” said Hyukjae.

Leeteuk stared at them for a moment, and once he was seemingly satisfied with his dongsaengs’ honesty, he smiled warmly. “Good,” he said. “Now go change your clothes. I don’t want you guys to get sick.”

While some members decided to go for coffee, others stayed behind fighting over the snacks they’d bought back at the store, letting Hyukjae and Yesung go up on their own. While they waited for the elevator, Hyukjae timidly grabbed Yesung’s pinky with his own, looking away before taking his whole hand. The older laughed as he noticed the slight blush in the younger’s face and as he heard some giggles behind them, he turned around slightly to see their members overreacting over the gesture. 

Still, Yesung knew how hard it was for Hyukjae to show affection in public, so he didn't mind the giggles. Instead, he just smiled warmly at him, knowing he was making an effort for him, and simply squeezed his hand tighter.

When the door of the elevator opened, however, there was a pair of eyes staring at them from afar with a frown.

“Hey!” Said Shindong, approaching Donghae and nudging him slightly with his shoulder. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, it’s just…” Donghae sighed. “I just realized they lied to me, hyung.”

Shindong shook his head. “They didn’t lie, Donghae-ah. They didn’t tell anybody, not just you. Don’t take it so personal.”

“What?” Donghae’s frown now turned into a confused one for a moment until he realized what Shindong meant. “Oh… no, it’s not that. I get why they didn’t tell us.”

“Then what is it?”

Donghae sighed again, a little embarrassed to explain, but did it anyway. “It’s just… they always said I was their favorite. Obviously, I wasn’t.”

Shindong rolled his eyes in disbelief, but he could see somehow it really seemed to affect him so he didn’t have the heart to smack him. “C’mon, I’m sure you are…” He said, grabbing him by the shoulders. “As much as I hate to admit it, you know you’re everyone’s favorite.”

And with that comment, Donghae’s eyes lit up as he turned to look straight at his hyung. “Really?” He said with a smile so pure that was almost childish. “Even yours?”

Shindong froze in his spot for a moment, but then dropped the hand he had around Donghae. “Well, now you’ve just taken it too far…” He said, simply walking away.

“No, hyung! Wait!” Donghae whined, following behind him. “I’ll win you over, you’ll see!”

So while Shindong tried to escape Donghae’s attempts to bond with him, Yesung and Hyukjae just rode the elevator in a completely comfortable silence until the younger leaned against the back wall and sighed in exhaustion.

"I'd kill for a hot shower right now," he said.

"Me too… I just hope I didn't catch a cold or something."

When the door opened up again on their floor, neither of them rushed at all, walking silently side by side until they reached the door of Yesung's room.

The older looked up at Hyukjae's face for a moment, smiling at his disheveled look, figuring he probably looked the same way. "Go get some rest, Hyuk-ah," he said, carefully pushing a strand of hair behind the younger's ear. "It was a long night."

But as he pulled out his key, Hyukjae only made a small whiny sound, almost as if he wasn't ready to let him go.

Yesung smiled, continuing his words with less conviction. "Or… do you want to come in?"

Hyukjae smiled widely for a second, before quickly turning his expression into one of fake outrage. "Ah, hyung… How forward of you. At least buy me coffee first."

Yesung just chuckled, rolling his eyes as he turned to open the door. _Some things never change_ , he thought, partly glad about it. "See you later then, you idiot," he said. But before he could even turn the knob, Hyukjae grabbed him by the wrist and started dragging him down the hallway toward his room. "Hey! At least let me grab some clothes first…"

But Hyukjae didn't pay him any attention. He simply opened the door and walked in, letting Yesung close the door behind him. So while the older stared at him from the door, Hyukjae pulled off his still damp shirt and threw it on the floor as he walked toward the bathroom.

"Now who's the forward one?" Said Yesung, following behind.

By the time Yesung leaned on the doorframe, Hyukjae had already turned on the hot water and was now grabbing a couple of towels.

"What are you waiting for?" Hyukjae asked him when he saw him standing there, just looking at him.

Yesung chuckled. "Aren't _you_ going to buy me coffee?"

Hyukjae smiled devilishly and approached him slowly. He snuck his hand to the back of his neck and after a small pause, he just leaned in to kiss him a lot more confidently than before. "I'll buy you one later."

And although by the time they parted Hyukjae's hands were already at his waist, slightly sliding underneath his shirt, they still seemed to be waiting for Yesung's permission to continue. 

The older could only smile before giving him a quick peck. "Deal."

\------------------------------------------------

After a long night, the members had decided to take the morning off. So finally Leeteuk was just happy he could relax without the fear in the back of his mind of some new drama arising while he slept. Yet, a sudden unexpected knock on the door made him wonder whether he had gotten ahead of himself.

"Donghae?" He asked, confused as he opened the door.

His dongsaeng was carrying a pillow under his arm and just pushed his way past him to let himself in. "I'm not sleeping next to either of them ever again."

And while Donghae plopped down on the other side of the bed, Leeteuk closed the door behind him, and although it took him a moment to understand what he meant, it finally seemed to click in his mind.

"Oh…" He said, chuckling when he finally got it.

After all, if there was going to be any drama at all, he figured that at least the distribution of rooms was nothing that a game of rock, paper, scissors couldn't solve.

* * *

**October 18th - 48 days later.**

The album had already come out, and so far, it seemed to be doing really well. So with the good sales numbers, the good atmosphere among the members and his relationship with Yesung better than ever, nothing could be going better for Hyukjae.

Just like that, the day for their presentation on Music Bank had finally come and everything seemed to be going wonderfully, except for one tiny detail: he couldn't find Yesung anywhere. Apparently he'd already gotten dressed and they were done with his makeup, but he wasn't at their waiting room nor beside the stage.

"Did you find him?" Leeteuk asked him.

Hyukjae shook his head. "Did anybody see Yesung hyung?" He asked loudly to the rest of the members.

"I think he said he was going to the bathroom," said Donghae.

And with that, Hyukjae ran off down the hallway, but he didn't even have to reach the bathroom to find him.

Only a few doors before, he found Yesung talking with two girls from a group that had just come off stage, recognizing him from behind by his new grey hair and his green velvet blazer.

So he snuck up behind him, hugging his waist tightly as he interrupted the conversation.

"Ladies…" Said Hyukjae, smiling at them over Yesung's shoulder. "I'm really sorry but I have to steal him away. It's almost our turn to go on."

"Oh, right," said Yesung, holding on to Hyukjae's hand on his abdomen. "Gotta run. Nice to meet you."

And that was all he managed to say before Hyukjae was already dragging him down the hallway, still not letting go of his waist. So once he made sure they had left them far behind, Hyukjae moved the collar of Yesung's jacket and sunk his teeth at the base of his neck.

"Ouch!" The older one complained. "What the hell…?"

"Mine," said Hyukjae as he finally let go of him.

"Of course I am, but what was that about?!"

Hyukjae chuckled when he saw Yesung massaging the place where he had bit him. "It's just a reminder…" He said with a shrug.

"Don't worry," said Yesung, grabbing his hand. "I wouldn't forget."

"Aish, hyung…" Hyukjae whined, embarrassed, but even then, he didn't remove his hand. "Not in public."

Yesung frowned without understanding the younger's logic. "You just _bit_ me!"

"Because you were taking too long!"

"You bit my _neck_!"

And although everyone who walked past them would look at them funny, no one even paid attention to their intertwined hands. In any case, if Hyukjae's neon green hair wasn't already enough to get everyone's attention, their weird argument surely did the trick.

After all, they were still Tom and Jerry. And that would never change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, all things must come to an end and I guess this is it for ToF Yesung and Hyukjae. At least for now :) And since today is August 31st, I guess I can't wrap this up without saying happy anniversary to those two love birds haha. Happy anniversary, my babies!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this silly story of mine and at least I hope I've managed to meet your expectations haha. Thank you for all your nice comments and feedback you've all left along the way. Each one of your comments have made my day.
> 
> Thank you for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Kudos and comments are always appreciated :)
> 
> Find me on Twitter as [@sujuseries](https://twitter.com/sujuseries) and [@mari_ficseries](https://twitter.com/mari_ficseries), or on CuriousCat [here](https://curiouscat.me/sujuseries) if you're shy.


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